Normal Conversations 7th Edition

::the kids competing in a video game::

Eli: Daddy is the best at all games
Taylor: No he is not. I know for sure he is not.
Eli: Yes, any game we play with him he wins
Taylor: It's because he's been playing games for like 30 years. How long have you been playing? You're like 5 or 6 years old?
Eli: I'm 8! I've had 8 birthdays. Don't you know how to count?
Taylor: Of course I do, but I don't count your birthdays
Eli: I count yours, you've had 11, that's why you're eleven years old.

Something Happened

Something happened to me this summer. 

There was this idea floating around in my head for about a year.  This idea that I live in the US and haven’t seen much of it.  I’ve only left CA a handful of times and mostly for school functions so it wasn’t like I got to experience the places I traveled to.  If I settled with my So Cal life I would miss so much.  I wanted my kids to experience the amazing things that are around us.  To appreciate the gorgeous things God created for us to enjoy.

So, as we began our adventure to hit all 50 states in the next 10 years, I totally fell in love with it. Seeing pictures or movies with places that are stunning are no longer a, “that’s cool”, but a, “Hey! Let’s add that to our list and actually GO there”.  This sense of adventure I didn’t know I had.  Let’s not get crazy…I mean you won’t find me doing a backpacking trip like EVER, but the quick 1-2 hour hikes are totally awesome.  You won’t find me travelling down an unpaved road inches from plummeting to my death in the car, but give me some defined lines down the pavement and we’re good.  Stepping more than like 5 feet off the hiking trail is a no-go, but following the beaten path to beautiful waterfall is fantastic.

What is this something that happened? I got this excitement that screams, “what’s next?!”  AND then as we were talking with some friends it occurred to me to share this crazy experience.  So that’s what I am doing now.

Do you want to travel with us next summer?  LET US KNOW! I can give you the details, but here is what we are doing:

• Arizona: Prescott National Forest, Grand Canyon, 4 Corners, and Little Jamaica
• New Mexico: Bandalier National Park, Petroglyph National Monument, White Sands National Monument, and Roswell
• Colorado: Mesa Verde, Glenwood Springs/Caverns, Rocky Mountain National Park
• Nebraska: Lake McConaughy, Carhenge, Scottsbluff
• Wyoming: Castle Gardens Petroglyph Site, Thermopolis, Yellowstone National Park
• Utah: Timpanogos Cave, Zion

That includes walking through caves, sand sledding, hiking to awesome rivers/waterfalls, exploring homes built into mountain sides, dipping in some natural hot springs, standing on the edge of amazing canyons, and random little things in between. About 5,500 miles over 16 days (Leaving on a Saturday and returning on a Tuesday). This trip is not for those that like to take their time to fully enjoy everything these awesome places have to offer. This trip it to see the “best of” these amazing states (or at least the “best of what is actually on a driving path that makes sense”).  Justin and I are building our own little list of places we want to go back to someday to fully enjoy, but this trip is to get a sampling. We never stay in 1 place more than 1 day, we drive an average of 5 hours a day, with a couple of days up to 7 hours (audio books and a bucket full of snacks are your best friend), and we will end every night in a hotel pool (Jacuzzi) because for some reason the kids still have energy to burn every night.

If you can manage getting the time off work to join us, the cost is the next big factor. That’s why I’m sharing this now 8 months before the trip. It takes us a year to save enough for these trips and I had to cut places out this year to make sure we fit within the budget.  Depending on if it is just you or an entire family here are the approximate costs:

• Hotels: $1,500-$3,000 (this might be lower depending on how many of you there is)
• Gas: $1,000 (this is at 16mpg at $4 per gallon)
• Food: $10-$15 per day per person
• Misc for attractions/tickets: $100 (plus any souvenir money you want)

Some of those costs could be significantly decreased for anyone that might want to travel with us solo since we could probably fit you in our car and/or some of the hotel rooms with us.

If you are interested in details let me know and I'll get you more info. I would need a solid answer by March when I'll start booking actually rooms.

Normal Conversations 6th Edition

It is time. The most horrible time. It is the dark days…of Santa Ana Winds. I hate windy weather. It is horrible. Random bursts of dirt in your eyes, hair in your mouth, or so much static that your clothes (and hair) cling to your body. It is the worst.  And these horrid winds is what triggered this edition of Normal Conversations.

Elijah: Can I go outside and play with my ball?

Me: No, it is too windy. It will blow away

Elijah: It isn’t too windy

Me: Go stand outside and see

::Taylor and Eli go outside, but only Eli returns::

Elijah: It isn’t too windy

Me: It has big gusts buddy

::Taylor comes in with crazy static and wind blow hair::

Taylor: Woah, why is it like that?

Me: Santa Ana winds. The worst.

Elijah: When will the Sammy Annie winds go away?

I’m totally not correcting him. They are now forever called Sammy Annie winds.

Normal Conversations 5th Edition

I'm pretty sure I'm not using "edition" correctly.  But what went from a one time blog turned into a thing...so I'm just going with it.

::watching t.v. with Jordan::

Character on show: What you did is unforgivable!
Jordan: Well, I guess he isn't Christian


::while finding something to eat::
Me: Jordan, how about a crunchy granola bar?
Jordan: ooo
Me: I like mine with peanut butter...but you don't like peanut butter.
Jordan: I HATE it. Hates a strong word. Hate is the perfect word to use.


::seeing a band-aid on Jordan's leg::
Me: What happened to your leg? Did you cut it shaving?
Jordan: I don't shave.
Me: Right answer, you pass the test.
Jordan: Can I shave?
Me: No

We Are Selfish

We, as humans, are naturally selfish. You see it best expressed with kids as they are growing up. The word “mine”, pushing to be in front of the line, the always “one-upping” stories, and so on. We must learn to think of others. It is a skill to be practiced and refined.  Even those with that do this well still have the selfishness lingering and sometimes it likes to make an appearance.

So, that sums up this guilt weighing on me currently.  We had our first 4.5 hour “interview” with the adoption agent that talked all about our marriage and then my history (Justin and kids get to do theirs on Monday). It brought up some things that began making me second guess this whole thing…again.  The doubts creeping in.  Are these legitimate concerns or my selfishness pushing to the surface?

Required Allowance

Nobody should get money “just because”. My kids have the chance to EARN money each week. There is a list of household tasks that need to be done and a value assigned to each of them. They can do them and make good money or do nothing and make nothing. It is very important to us that our kids learn they need to work hard to achieve their goals.  We found out that we will be required to give the foster/adopted child an allowance no matter what. I hate this, like a lot.

Surrogacy Complications

We were just recently approached by our last surro family and asked to carry one more child for them. We agreed, and the plan was to start the process next summer after we get back from vacation (hiking national parks while pregnant and/or nauseous sounds like no fun).  When we first met with the agency we were very clear on these plans and told that it would be “OK”. We heard yesterday that we are not allowed to be pregnant at all while going through the foster/adopt process. The reasoning makes sense, but now I have this conflict of choosing what to do. I want to do both. I want to help my surro family AND adopt a little boy.  The AND is possible, but it makes things significantly more difficult for us and the timing much more “inconvenient”. Is this selfishness like I think it is? Or is it a legitimate concern that this inconvenience could be a bigger impact (a negative one) on our family? How do I balance making sure I take care of the family I have now with helping a child in a horrible situation? This is causing me much aching of the heart.  Like really, random tears for the last 18 hours.

This Won’t Be Easy

I appreciate the honesty of our Adoption Worker. She was very clear on what we are getting ourselves into.  It is very clear this will NOT be easy.  Our whole world will be constantly shifting as we adjust to adding a new child to our home. A child that is very likely to have some baggage to bring along because of the crappy stuff they’ve had to experience in their short life. A child we will need to love and attach to that has a possibility of being returned to their biological family anytime during the process.  Constant visitation hours that will likely be hard on the child and families involved. As we hear this I think, “This is a risk we are willing to take. This child deserves to be in a loving/healthy family. We can handle this.”, but then, “What about our kids? Can they handle this? Can they love a stranger (they totally can)? Can they handle the loss of a child they grow to love? Is this too much of a burden to place on them?”. Am I just trying to pass my selfishness off as concern about these things?

Potential Wasted Time

As we were finishing up the interview there are several things in my past that I would easily consider as “resolved” issues. Things I’ve been through that over the last 20+ years have worked through with friends, family, and my amazing husband.  So as the Worker hinted several times about being “open and willing” to attend counseling for these things for a few months before we are approved I sort of just get annoyed.  Again, deep down I understand WHY. They are going to be placing a child with a stranger. They SHOULD be vetting those people out and making sure they have the stuff together.  But why require counseling for something you see as a non-issue?  Couldn’t we just meet with somebody once to talk through to see if it is an issue? Why do I have to waste so much time (a precious and limited resource) and money on something that may not even be needed? I know this one is pure selfishness. I acknowledge that.

So, what’s the point of all of this? I have no idea what I’m doing. I have no idea what the “right” thing is. So, can you pray for us? Pray for God to work on our (my) hearts so that our desires align with HIS desires, so it is clear what the answers to our questions are.  That as we (I) struggle with all of these thoughts I am drawn closer to HIM.

Normal Conversations 4th Edition

We do this thing at dinner. We call it best parts and worst parts. We go around the table and ask the best part of the day and the worst part of the day.  Apparently, this is a "thing". I only started it because asking kids 5 and under (which is the age we started this at) about their day was very uninformative, but asking specific questions made it a lot better.

Any way, now to the normal conversation for the night...

Eli: Daddy' what was your best part about today?
Justin: Hanging out with mommy
Me: We didn't hang out
Jordan: Sure you did! You were kissing. That's hanging out.
Justin: You're never allowed to hang out with anyone...ever

::a few minutes later while cleaning up dinner I walk by Justin and give him a kiss:

Jordan: Look! You're hanging out again!