Let's Talk About Coitus

Just a heads up.  This blog is about random sex related conversations that have happened with my children over the last few months.  I won't sugar coat things so if it offends you - don't read it.

First conversations of sexual type things started with my surrogacy journey.  I had to loosely explain to the children how this baby in my belly was NOT their sibling.  It was as simple as:

Mommy's have an egg in their bodies.  Daddy's have an egg in their body.  Those eggs come together and make a baby.  This baby in my belly is from a different mommy and daddy so it isn't our baby.

Yes. I know men don't have eggs.

That seems like so long ago.  Thanks to a series of unfortunate events that range from 4th grade boys calling 4th grade girls whores - to my 3rd grade daughter finding a stash of pornographic magazines at school - my kids' knowledge of the sexual things is much more than I anticipated at this point of parenting.

So...it was only a matter of time before Taylor (my 11 year old) realized that she was conceived outside of wedlock. This was not a big dark secret. We knew eventually it would come up and we would discuss it honestly and openly.

She figured it out on the car ride home from church one night.  Which led to slew of questions from both girls.  Elijah (in typical Eli fashion) just sat quietly - I assumed he was spacing out thinking about who knows what.  Until finally...

Elijah chimed in "Taylor, you're wrong. Babies come from mommies AND daddies. AND. So they have to be married.

Yes Elijah, stay innocent dear boy.

Taylor also recently asked  if people have sex more than just making babies. I said yes. She then asked if Justin and I have sex other than making babies.  I said yes. Than she asked how many times... Naturally I said a lot. She made a disgusted face and said, why didn't you just not tell me the answer?!  THEN she asked if Justin and I were having sex for fun when she was conceived to which I said yes.  She was mortified. It was fantastic.

And thanks to the open "question" time after she watched the sex-ed video at school she said some girl asked if you can get pregnant from a penis in your mouth.  I said no.  She then responded with "Why would she even ask that question? Why would you put a penis in your mouth?" And Jordan thinking she knew the obvious answer for why you put anything in  your mouth willingly... "Because it tastes good!"

No dear child...just no.

I was very happy for an abrupt change in topic before I had to dispute that fact with Jordan.