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Family Life (80) Surrogacy (66) Rachael (43) So Sayith... (22) Justin (16) Jordan (14) Taylor (12) Elijah (5) Nerdness (3) Adoption (2)

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Serial Killer in the Making


So I have this kid named Jordan.  She’s awesome and most days she is one of my favorite of the children.
Where she is insanely mischievous she is also extremely helpful.
Where she is annoyingly evil to her siblings she is also tender and loving to young children.
Where she is massively “tough” and fearless she is also sensitive to the disappointment of adults.
But mostly this kid has an odd fascination for things that may end up making her a Serial Killer.
Like when I was getting my daily injections in my rear end she would beg to watch daddy stab me.  And she would look at my face closely and say “does it hurt?” with a smirk on her face.  Yes a smirk…
Or when somebody has a cut or like when Taylor lost her tooth and it was bleeding she will poke at it over and over and watch you wince with a smirk on her face…
Or when I poured her some red cough syrup the other night and she giddily said “it looks like blood!” as she swirled it around in the tiny medicine cup with a massive grin on her face…
Or when she later told me she wanted to be a firefighter when she grows up so she can start fires and burn things… (I can only assume to hide the evidence)
So our job as her parents is to make her a surgeon instead of a Serial Killer, but I mean…look at this face… it may already be too late.
 

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Every Kid Gets a Trophy

I am a firm believer that we (as an adult generation) are raising a generation of people who “deserve” everything.

A lot of people my age and younger have this sense that the world owes them for being alive.  They deserve the best and they shouldn’t have to do anything for it.

Not everyone is like this (or doing this), but you know you’ve seen it.
Recently I had a friend frustrated that her child came home from school with a note essentially saying “if you child is going to hand out Valentine’s Day Cards they MUST have one for every child in the class.”
Her frustration was based on the idea that “Every Kids Gets A Trophy”.  Just show up for the race and you’ll get something because “Every Kid is a Winner”.
AND that is a load of crap.  Although I DO agree that every kid should get a Valentine because if you are having a CLASS event the whole CLASS should be included.  However, if you were not have a Valentine ’s Day party then not every could should get a Valentine because you’ll want to give them to only your friends.  And NOT everyone is your friend.  SURPRISE!
My kids know this.
Taylor has had the harsh reality that some kids just don’t like her.  Get over it.  Make new friends. 
In some instances kids don’t like her for a good reason! They call her gross because they saw her pick her nose and eat it.  Well, Taylor, that is gross.  FIX IT!
I do not expect my kids to “like” everyone.  They will not invite EVERYONE to their birthday party if they have a good reason not to invite you.
I won’t let my kids be mean and not invite somebody because they are “weird” or something.  I mean, they need to know to LOVE and RESPECT everyone, but they don’t have to like everyone.
My kids also know they will not always win.  Yes sweetheart…it’s true…you are not the BEST at everything.  You are great at math, but your spelling is horrific.  You can run fast, but you can’t kick a ball to save your life.
Get over it. 
You will not win every race.  You will not always get an A.  You will not always be liked by everyone.  The reality is there are some kids out there that are just better at those things than you. 
And you know what, THAT IS OK!
Work hard on things you want to improve (or things that need to be improved).  Sometimes your “best” is not enough to get that trophy and if it is something you really want you may need to work a heck of a lot harder than somebody else to do it.  In some cases… you just can’t.  In some cases…somebody may always be “better” at it than you.
And THAT IS OK.
The lesson my kids will learn is that no matter how good (or horrible) you are at some things in life Mommy and Daddy will always love you.
No matter how cool (or weird) you are you will find GOOD friends eventually that will love you for who you are.
And no matter what choices you make and how often you fail you have an amazing and loving God that cherishes you more than your family or friends can even fathom.
The End...time for my lunch time nap (apparantly I need it).

Monday, February 10, 2014

Ketchup and Kids


I’m finding myself further and further behind on family things as I try to keep up with the surrogacy things. 
I’ve been meaning to blog about Taylor’s 7th birthday…I’ve been meaning to blog about HoliDavis…I’ve been meaning to blog about all the awesome random times with friends lately…I’ve ha d a lot of good thoughts and no time or energy to bring them to fruition.
I like the word fruition even if I’m not exactly sure how to use it.  Saying that word (or hearing it) always makes me want a smoothie though…that’d be a great name for a smoothie.
So before I get to the point of this blog for today I am going to openly admit I WILL not fully blog about the awesome things above (Taylor excluded…I MUST do a 7th birthday post for her).  Instead I give you a quick recap/summary of life events and then I give you a bunch of random things my kids have said and done in the last month that make me laugh so they  must be shared.
HOLIDAVIS
I have the best friends!  I think we ended up with 18 adults and 10 kids.  In my 3 bedroom apartment.  We squeezed (literally…) around a table (several tables) that stretched from the wall of my kitchen to the couch in the living room to enjoy lots of food.
I made a bacon wrapped turkey and honey glazed ham.  Friends brought rolls, and casseroles and potatoes, and desserts and it was fabulous.
 
We played the gift unwrapping game which is one of my favorite HoliDavis traditions started by the Newmyers on the very first HoliDavis 3 years ago.
This year we had quite a few new friends in the mix and I couldn’t have been more thrilled!
FRIENDS
Despite feeling rather crappy most of the time I have had some really good days too.  We’ve taken advantage of these good days and take some time to just BE with friends.  I like to be with friends.  Playing games, laughing, talking, laughing, and well…laughing.  We played a horribly inappropriate game with Sam and Tiffany (FYI Tiffany is one of those “new” people I mentioned above…I like her).  That night I learned I am the most inappropriate of all and that there is a version of Justin and me in Tiffany’s life.  We chatted in all kinds of uncomfortableness with Phil and Megan.  We had lunch with most of the youth leaders (Brad ditched us).  We went to a gorgeous engagement party with wonderful food and amazing people where I met Heidi’s Sam (don’t worry Sam…Justin spent a good hour disproving how alike you and he actually were…he won’t let anyone interfere with his BFF).  And we played games with Phil and Megan…Phil even made me a smoothie.
I have the best friends.
THINGS MY KIDS SAY AND DO
While walking to the house from the car in the rain.
Elijah: Mommy, it’s raining rain drops
Me: What else would it rain?
Elijah: Milk or Apple Juice
Taylor walks into my room around 4 AM.
Taylor: Mommy I lost my tooth
Me: Why are you pulling on your tooth in the middle of the night?
Taylor: It just wiggled while I was sleeping and woke me up…so I pulled it out, look!
Me: No, its 4 AM put it on my end table…I’ll look at it in the morning
Taylor: ok, but it’s awesome…you’re gonna miss it
Jordan changes her clothes A LOT.  Most recently she decided that her pajamas were just not doing it for her so she walks out of her room in a bikini (after we put her to bed) and tells us that she wants to sleep in a bathing suit forever.  She has now slept in her bikini 3 nights in a row.
Elijah’s favorite part about starting preschool is his lunchbox.  So much so that when he gets home from school he walks around with it for like an hour before we can convince him to put in on the counter.  By convince I mean force him to do it with tears and screams.
Justin and I left a restaurant in different cars, at the same time.  He was in front of me and pulling ahead.  Taylor and I had been talking about speed limits lately as I taught her to read the street signs.
Taylor: Mommy how fast are you going?
Me: 40
Taylor: The sign says 40
Me: Yup
Taylor: Then why is daddy beating you? How is he going faster?
Me: He’s going faster than 40
Taylor: He’s breaking the rules! He’s not supposed to break the rules!
We rotate letting the kids fall asleep in our bed.  The girl’s favorite part about this is making our bed.  So Jordan made our bed and came out a few minutes later.
Jordan: Mommy, can I have a blanket from the living room?
Me: No
Jordan: ::hangs her head:: ok
I was thinking we have 2 warm blankets on her bed…why in the world does she want another one?  About an hour later I went to go to bed and realize she just didn’t want to mess up the bed so she was sleeping ON TOP of the blankets.  Poor thing was so cold because I told her she couldn’t get a living room blanket that she took a towel from the bathroom to use as a blanket.

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Laughing At Ignorance

Well one thing is for sure when it comes to Surrogacy.  Unless you plan on spending the entire surrogacy process locked in your house OR you decide to lie to everyone around you and not admit you’re a surrogate than surrogacy is not for the weak spirited.

For every super supportive exited person you meet or know there is somebody who is just as judgmental and rude.
In most instances I find the judgmental person is so…well…judgmental because they just don’t understand.  And FYI…I can't spell judgmental.  Spell check has corrected me every single time (you’d think I’d learn).
For all those people out there that meet a surrogate TALK to them first and find out what THEIR journey has been before you make ignorant assumptions.  This has not happened to me lately and it is not actually the reason for this blog.  It’s actually quite the opposite.
I would not consider myself “weak spirited”.  Most of the time I take the criticism with a sense of humor (unless I’m experiencing some sort of hormonal instability at that moment). 
AND that is why I’m writing today.  To me…part of surrogacy is a sense of humor.  From things:

Coworker: I heard you and so-and-so are both pregnant, congratulations!
Me: Yeah! Thanks…the difference is I won’t be keeping mine.
Coworker: ::confused look::
Me: ::sly smile:: I’m a surrogate.

It is also why I sort of hope that the doctor that delivers the baby doesn’t know I’m a surrogate so when that Chinese baby pops out my husband can say “Who’s baby is that!!!”
So with the sense of humor in mind I wanted to show you some pictures of Surrogacy T-Shirts that you can actually buy at cafepress.com.  Enjoy…and laugh…and I may end up buying one or more of these.













Monday, February 3, 2014

The Little Lime


12 weeks yesterday!  First Trimester is over which theoretically means I should be puking less and tired less.  I’m only 2 days in to this 2nd Trimester so I’ll get back to you on that.
My nausea has mostly subsided over the last week.  Now it only occasionally creeps up throughout my day, but in general I’m feeling ok.  I can eat again which is awesome.  I so very much LOVE food.

Here are some things I feel you should know about my last week:
·         I lost 7 pounds my first trimester!! But in the last week I’ve gained back 2 pounds and counting

·         I have been craving mandarin oranges (not canned, but fresh).  I don’t even like mandarin oranges, but I currently have a 5 pound box on my desk at work and I’m eating 4-5 a day.  MmMmMm.

·         Justin handled my first pregnancy hormone freak out moment when he tried to kiss me and I said in a very angry and motherly tone “Get out of my freaking face”.  That rage lasted about 3 seconds and he just walked away and pretended it never happened (or he forgot while sitting on the toilet).  Either way…well done good sir

·         Randomly around 11 PM (when I manage to be awake that late…so maybe it’s every night at 11 PM, but I’m just usually sleeping) I want a sweet, hot, fresh, baked good such as a cinnamon roll or jelly/custard filled donut.

·         I’m excited to be so lucky that this pregnancy I get to be on this journey with several good friends all at the same time! At least 3 awesome women that are due within a few weeks of me.

·         I feel the need to nap every 2-3 hours.  That is not possible, but my body still asks me politely while I yell horrible things at it for being a pansy that needs to just suck it up and make it to lunch (I always nap at lunch)

·         I met my new OB.  She’s awesome.  She did an ultrasound in the office so I have a picture for you!

·         The baby girl is measuring like week bigger… dear Jesus let her slow down…I don’t want to have a big baby

So that’s pretty much it.  The baby girl is the size of a lime, which I don’t eat so I’m gonna say it’s the size of a mandarin orange…because I have one on my desk and it seems about lime sized.