Ta Ta For Now

About 2 years ago I stood on stage singing "Called Me Higher" as my stud of a husband lead our congregation in Worship.

Then I sang these words...

But You have called me higher
You have called me deeper
And I'll go where You will lead me Lord
You have called me higher
You have called me deeper
And I'll go where You lead me Lord
Where You lead me
Where You lead me Lord

It was one of those moments where the Lord taps on your shoulder to get your attention. A "Did you mean what you just sang?" moment. A "Will you GO where I lead you? Will you leave the comforts of what you know for the unknown?"

For the next few weeks I processed what that meant. My head was like, of course I will! 

But my heart was not on board. I don't want to GO. I like where I am. I like my church. I like my job. I like living in Orange County. I like my friends/community.

BUT the words kept floating around in my head (and heart).  I couldn't shake them. After a few weeks I began talking to Justin about it too. I asked him to join me in prayer. What does it mean to "GO"? Does it mean a job change? A literal move to a new area? Changing churches?

So I continued to pray until my heart caught up to my head. Until I could confidently say, "I will GO where You lead me Lord".

Then a few months later like a billion of our friends did in fact "GO", to other cities, to other counties, even other states.  I breathed a sigh of relief, "OK God, I get it. You were just preparing me for the fact you are calling all of THEM to go, not me."

And that was that. I moved on (I mean don't get me wrong, a ton of friends moving was hard).

Fast Forward, now about 2 years from the original "GO" situation. Over the last few months there have been a few instances where things have been uncomfortable (to put it lightly). Things that have caused some hurt and some grieving. Things that have left a taste of distrust. BUT we pushed through and pushed on. We were content and comfortable (mostly) with where we were and there was no reason for any changes.

Looking back, I heard a faint whisper of "go...", but brushed it off. I told myself it was my own voice wanting to "run and hide" instead of work through difficult situations. I don't think I really took the time to actually consider if it was more than just "me" and my insecurities.

So, God had to stop "tapping" and had to straight up smack us in the back of our heads.

On Monday, Justin was told he would no longer be the Worship Pastor at our church effective immediately ::insert 10 billion ugly crying emojis::.

If you know Justin well you know his deep passion for worship through music. Watching him sing/play is one of the things I love most about him. When he is "leading" it is just him and the Lord. He doesn't "perform", he legit just worships and brings us all along in that moment. SO, being told he can't serve in that capacity at our church home cut deep. Paraphrased from Justin, "it is so hard to know you are called to a ministry and be told they think you aren't good enough to do it".

So, after a couple of days thinking and praying about it, we have decided that it is time for us to "GO". I just want everyone to know that this was not just a 2 day decision. This is nearly 2 years of God preparing us to "GO". This last couple of days was just the push we needed to make us leave our comfort zone and follow His leading.

This was not an easy choice, but we are confident it is the right choice. We LOVE our church family. You guys have no idea how much we do. So many of them are truly family. Shoreline is full of some of the most amazing, loving, wise, God honoring, God pursuing, friendly, and generous people we have ever met. BUT it is time to "GO".  

So, to our Shoreline family:

I won't say "we'll miss you", because that means we won't see you. You are family. I expect phone calls, dinners, beach trips, and impromptu knocks on each others doors. However, can you also be praying for us. Pray we are sensitive to the Lord's voice and calling. That we "GO" where He wants us to go. That our kids can transition well to the only church/family they have ever known and their faith in the Lord grow deeper and stronger through this journey into the unknow. And don't be afraid to check in with us.

The Church Body

 

On Sunday, as we were clearing the stage after church, I was putting away Justin’s in-ear monitor set. Sitting on the shelves are a dozen more sets, all labeled, with people I (and I know Justin) love so deeply. And miss so deeply since many are not able to join us for “in person” services for various reasons.

It has been on my mind a lot the last couple of weeks. As people who say they are part of the Church (as in the all believers) attack and tear down each other. I was finding myself worn down, frustrated, and just broken hearted. Most of the time, I wasn’t the one being personally attached, so why was it affecting me the way it was?

And I stood staring at those untouched monitor sets it started to make sense.

Excluding my actual household, there are many times my “church family” are closer to me than anyone else is. 

• We get the amazing opportunity to sing/worship our amazing Savior together. Every week (and sometime more) we get to celebrate together, sing together, as my husband puts it (paraphrase), “we get to sing as one voice with the believers from the past, present and future.” THAT is powerful.
• We get to pray together. When one of us is hurting we reach out to one another for a hand to hold, a shoulder to cry on, a word of encouragement, or even a word of accountability. My church family knows what is going on in our lives. They check on us and I KNOW, God uses them constantly to reach out to us when we need it most (even when I don’t ask for it).
• We learn together. We spend time in God’s word. Learning and growing. DISCUSSING (did I say that loud enough?) We work through the scripture together. We struggle through the meaning and application of His incredible word. We learn from each other and challenge each other.

Do you see it yet? Did you notice how much of that includes attacking, insulting, tearing down, belittling, etc?

None.

Because as the Body of Christ we are to work together. That doesn’t mean “agree” with everything. We work THROUGH the disagreements. And PRAY for each other. If we end up on different “sides” of a discussion that is OK, still Pray. Pray for God to make things clear to THEM (hint: or maybe even you). And still LOVE them. Still RESPECT them. Still worship, pray, and grow in your faith as the body of Christ.

So, as I miss, so very badly, my church family all being together in one place I will find peace in knowing that we are still part of the same body. This crazy, diverse, and beautiful body of believers from thousands of years ago, to today, to the days to come.

P.S. I MISS my Worship Team people so much! I love you guys extra special because as you all know, music has a special way of building beautiful bonds (and great harmonies)

Christmas Chaos

In 2011 (5 years into marriage) we finally had our own place. Which meant we could decorate for Christmas any way we wanted. I had grand ideas, but a tiny budget.  This first year I had to pick one of my many "perfect" decorating dreams to start with so I chose the tree. We'd have the perfect tree.

What is a perfect tree? None of the mis-matched or handmade monstrosities that children make. But perfectly coordinated colors and ornaments hung in a balanced fashion. This took form in ornaments in shades of blue with white lights. It looked clean and cute. Just like I wanted.

As the years went on the kids brought home more and more ornaments. I would tell them how much I loved them (I mean, just because they are hideous didn't mean I didn't love that they took the time to make them for me). I would then proceed to box them up with "memories", but they definitely had no place on my tree.

Then something weird happened 2 years ago.  As I was throwing away broken ornaments I realized my tree was running out of things to hang.  I began searching/shopping around but couldn't find a new "theme" that I loved.  I decided, just THIS year I'd like the kids have at it.  They decorated the tree in all THEIR colorful chaos from their years and years of crafting.  From a snowman missing a hand, to special ones they had gotten as gifts from people.  They were proud of the chaos that was our Christmas tree. I'd just pretend that looking at it didn't cause me to twitch a little.

As we started decorating last year (and throwing away more of my matching ornaments from years of being mishandled) the kids sat separating their ornaments into piles waiting to start the decorating process.  I guess we were doing it again. Our tree would go another year as a giant mess.  THIER happy little mess.  I figured I'd just go with it and even got an idea to support the mayhem.

I decided every year we'd take the kids shopping so they could pick any ornament they wanted.  We put their name and year on the ornament and add it to the collection on the tree.  When they have their own place I'll give them all of their ornaments to jump-start their collection.

So with that decision I figured I should actually hang their ornaments every year. Gone our the days of having a nice looking tree.  And so I embrace the crazy tree and instead of twitching, I even smile a little when I look at it.

The Ultimate Parenting Test

I know I've said it before, but there is something evil about homework.  How is it that homework turns children into distracted, crying, hyper messes and turns parents into bodies of pure rage?

I hate homework. I hate how it makes my kids act. I hate how I respond to the way my kids are acting. I hate that my mostly patient self suddenly becomes short, snippy, and even occasionally cruel.

I hate that it is 20 minutes after my daughter's bed time but she is still struggling through homework that is stretching her a little beyond what she is ready for.

BUT (that's a big but...and that makes me giggle like my 8 year old son) it is pretty awesome that the book she is struggling through is one of my favorite books.  It is exciting to listen to her ask questions about what she is reading when I know the exciting stuff that is coming.  My Taytor-tot loves to read and I've been pushing her to read more challenging books so she can get better. I love seeing her work through the new words and think through the challenging story line as it unfolds.

I hate homework, but I sort of love that she's getting old enough for me to share some of my favorite things with.

Start Young

SO, if you have followed us for any amount of time you are likely to know that we are huge Dave Ramsey fans.

All the way, super tight budget for several years to work your butt off to get out of debt.  We paid off a little over $40k in debt in about 5 years making around $30k a year WITH a family of 5.

It is possible people.

We have made a lot of scarifices to get here. And we will not buy anything unless we have the cash to do so.  All that said it is super important that our kids learn this early.  We make them WORK for their money, they don’t work, they don’t get paid.  When they do get paid they make the choice of what to “give”, what to “save”, and what to “spend”.  We talk openly with them about things we say “no” to because it just isn’t in the budget. They understand the must save up to buy what they want and not “borrow” money from anyone (including us).

So, when my credit union started a line of products meant for kids that reinforce these principles I was all over it! As the kids get older, their accounts evolve and the tools they are offered change to meet their age/maturity.

The real point of this blog though? To show you Tay’s pure excitement as she received her very own debit card. Linked to her very own checking account that she can deposit money into.  She got her very own Online Banking account so she can keep track of what she is spending and very soon we will start her very own budget.

There is something pretty darn cool about seeing your kid take responsibility for managing her money the right way.

The Dreaded Back to School Night

I’ve only been doing this parent-of-a-school-aged-kid thing for 7 years.  I want to be an involved parent, I really do.

I try (and nearly always succeed) in getting time off for field trips and school events.  I try to keep open and active lines of communication open with teachers.  I try to emphasize the importance of school with the kids.

But MAN, OH MAN how I loath Back to School Night.  I was all excited for it my first year. I remember going with my parents. You go to the kid’s class. The teacher talks about who they are and what to expect in the class.  I wanted THAT. I wanted to go and get a feel for who this lady was and what the expectations of my kids were.

That is NOT what it is.

When did Back to School Night become an hour-long presentation (ok, well 45minutes)? Why do I have to sit through 30 minutes of random school/education presentations first?
• Here’s how to drive through the parking lot
• Reading with your kids statistically shows they do better in school
• Attendance is important
• Monitor your child’s online activity

WHY do I have to sit through that? AND why do I have to sit through it for each of my kids’ classes? What a waste of time! And then the poor teacher.  She has only a few minutes left to cram in everything she wants to tell you (the stuff we all really care about anyway).

So, I hate it. I go because I want the kids to see that school is important. That THEY are important enough to go to these dumb meetings for.  Only 9 years left…

We Like Games

So, as I was prepping to write a rant about setting kids up for failure by putting an insane amount of pressure on them starting in elementary school, I realized something.

I've totally been super negative lately.

Or maybe I just feel negative because I'm tired and grumpy.

Instead, I forced myself to think...what were some highlights this week.  It was easy.

Games + Friends

Once a month we have a group of friends gather around our kitchen table and we board game it up.  I look forward to this night. I stole the idea from a friend from Highs School that was doing monthly game nights. Thanks Howard and Philicia (and gratz on the adorable new baby)!

I mean, board games are amazing and I'm glad we have a wall of them.  Some people buy book shelves for books, I feel sorry for those people. Obviously bookshelves are made for games. We need a wall of them...maybe we should start working on a 2nd wall.

We have card games, board games, dice games, strategy games, resource games, dungeon crawlers, fast games, long games, party games, kids games, competitive games, and co-op games.  We have video games too, but the lack of good multi-player games in the last few years is rather disappointing.

Do you like games? Cool, lets hang out.  Really.  It's an open invitation (if you don't mind the chaos of 3 kids running around in the background).  I will even occasionally cook for you.

Let’s Talk About Bugs

So much of my life the last couple of days has been impacted by creepy crawly things.  I’m totally over exaggerating, but still.

The most devastating news… my van is a death trap.  2 weeks ago, I got an awesome (new to me) van.  It’s silver, and shiny, and has about 100 buttons and comfy leather seats.  The best part is, because Justin and I live on an insanely tight budget we had enough money saved to pay for it in cash!

BUT things didn’t stay so pretty.  It started with an ant infestation. How does that even happen? One day I was taking groceries out of my car and found ants in the back. Just a few so I didn’t think anything of it.  But every day since, when getting in the car, I squish 2-3 ants that are walking across my steering wheel, or climbing up my leg, or crawling down the seat.  Ugh. How long before they die of starvation? It’s a brand-new car! There aren’t even crumbs for them to live off of.  That’s not even the worst! On the way to work on Tuesday I saw a HUGE spider web and right smack dab in the middle of it a large spider. Like 50 cent piece big.  And a Google search later I determined it must be a brown widow.  So, I’m pretty sure after it finishes eating all of the ants its going to find and attack me (I can’t find it – I tried).

Now I’m going to just complain so feel free to stop reading and end on the scary fact my van is trying to kill me.

Then there was the whole “we’re spraying your apartment for pests” letter.  Don’t get me wrong. I appreciate the fact that my complex is being pro-active and keeping AWAY the creepy crawlies, but their list of things to do is insane.  By 9am we had to …

•         empty our closets and put everything on our bed – this meant we wouldn’t be able to sleep on our beds if I did it early, so we had to wait until we woke up the morning of. Because getting the kids up, ready for school, and out the door in time in the morning isn’t hard enough as it is.
• 
  
•         empty all of our kitchen cabinets and place everything on our kitchen table – this meant our kitchen table (and kitchen really) were un-usable. Since I know from experience this takes a couple of hours to do I didn’t have the luxury of waiting until the morning of to do this. AND since we have church the night before it meant doing a lot of it during the day before which meant I had to eat dinner out (which we didn’t have money for because I already spent all of our budgeted food money for the week), nobody go breakfast this morning, and since I can’t re-enter my apartment until after 6PM it means dinner out again tonight.

•         empty out all of the bathroom cabinets (no complaints about this one)
• 
  
•         move all furniture a foot away from the wall.  You know, all the massive bookshelves we have full of games and books, and bunk beds, and other furniture all anchored to the wall.  After a long conversation with the apartment manager she said I didn’t have to this one (yay)

BUT at least the crawling beasts infesting my car won’t be in my house. So that’s a bonus.  AND after venting (let’s be honest, totally complaining) to a coworker he blessed us with a gift card to cover dinner.

Let's Talk About Coitus

Just a heads up.  This blog is about random sex related conversations that have happened with my children over the last few months.  I won't sugar coat things so if it offends you - don't read it.

First conversations of sexual type things started with my surrogacy journey.  I had to loosely explain to the children how this baby in my belly was NOT their sibling.  It was as simple as:

Mommy's have an egg in their bodies.  Daddy's have an egg in their body.  Those eggs come together and make a baby.  This baby in my belly is from a different mommy and daddy so it isn't our baby.

Yes. I know men don't have eggs.

That seems like so long ago.  Thanks to a series of unfortunate events that range from 4th grade boys calling 4th grade girls whores - to my 3rd grade daughter finding a stash of pornographic magazines at school - my kids' knowledge of the sexual things is much more than I anticipated at this point of parenting.

So...it was only a matter of time before Taylor (my 11 year old) realized that she was conceived outside of wedlock. This was not a big dark secret. We knew eventually it would come up and we would discuss it honestly and openly.

She figured it out on the car ride home from church one night.  Which led to slew of questions from both girls.  Elijah (in typical Eli fashion) just sat quietly - I assumed he was spacing out thinking about who knows what.  Until finally...

Elijah chimed in "Taylor, you're wrong. Babies come from mommies AND daddies. AND. So they have to be married.

Yes Elijah, stay innocent dear boy.

Taylor also recently asked  if people have sex more than just making babies. I said yes. She then asked if Justin and I have sex other than making babies.  I said yes. Than she asked how many times... Naturally I said a lot. She made a disgusted face and said, why didn't you just not tell me the answer?!  THEN she asked if Justin and I were having sex for fun when she was conceived to which I said yes.  She was mortified. It was fantastic.

And thanks to the open "question" time after she watched the sex-ed video at school she said some girl asked if you can get pregnant from a penis in your mouth.  I said no.  She then responded with "Why would she even ask that question? Why would you put a penis in your mouth?" And Jordan thinking she knew the obvious answer for why you put anything in  your mouth willingly... "Because it tastes good!"

No dear child...just no.

I was very happy for an abrupt change in topic before I had to dispute that fact with Jordan.

That Time Team Davis Fell Apart

As Justin and I stand on the stage of an empty sanctuary practicing the worship set for the morning I glance at the pews.  I see 4 awesome kids huddled together, sitting quietly and calmly.  I glance down the aisle and see 3 other kids – one sitting inside a hoodie (like it’s a sled) with his 2 siblings using the sleeves to pull him full speed down the aisle as they laugh uncontrollably through squeals of delight.  The 2^nd set of kids are my kids.  My 3 bundles of pure energy. I look at the differences in these two sets of children as a direct reflection of my parenting and translated it to a failure in parenting.  Why can’t my kids just sit still and keep quiet?

I had given up on trying to force it.  It always ended in a crying mess on both sides.  They do sometimes manage to do the “quiet” thing, but more often they are balls of chaos. Well... what I considered chaos. 

However, over the last year I’ve realized more and more they are just “living life”.  This revelation was inspired by our Children’s Director at Church (the amazing Sara Hughes).  She lives her life AND more importantly (to me at least) she helps my kids do the same.  She encourages them to be creative in their learning with plays they create to demonstrate the lessons they learn.  She has parties filled with food and confetti cannons.  She finds reasons to celebrate life and the craziness of what life can throw at you.  She meets them where they are just like Paul explains in 1 Corinthians Chapter 9.

I admire Sara and her ability to do this.  I am very much NOT that person. I’m an over-planner.  I need to think 10 steps ahead of my next 50 steps.  I over-organize things in order to feel some sense of control.  And sometimes, God likes to remind me what little control I have.

Then comes the real reason for this blog…I’m talking about that week(ish) in December…that week where God was like, “Oh, so you think you have everything under control? You think you have ANY say on what will happen tomorrow?” ::insert Godly giggle…well probably bellowing laughter…I assume God doesn’t giggle::

On Saturday morning Elijah comes into my room and says his tummy itches. He lifts his shirt to reveal a small patch of tiny red dots.  It looks like a mild skin irritation, so I tell him to take a shower to get clean and I’ll put some cream on it to help with the itch.  Problem solved.  Then that evening he complains again and reveals that small spot has spread rapidly up and around his side and back so to Urgent Care we go.  A 3 hour wait and we find out he has shingles. Not the worst case scenario so we move on with life.

Shingles.

Fast forward 4 days.  That amazing Sara lady I mentioned earlier walks into our Youth Group (where Justin and I are) and tells me Taylor was hurt and, in a VERY Taylor fashion, is letting the whole world know that her life was ending.  I walk down to get her and assume her tears are her typical over-exaggeration, but after a few minutes I realize she may actually be hurt.  So, another ride to Urgent Care (shout out to Tommy here for being willing to get the rest of my family home that night).  And we shortly find out her hand is broken AND it’s her dominant hand.

Shingles. Broken Hand.

Fast forward 5 days.  Jordan is outside happily enjoying the warm evening (and yes it was December and like 70 degrees outside at 5pm).  I’m inside cooking dinner with the other two and Justin is out studying (or maybe writing a paper) for finals.  I hear Jordan walking up the stairs crying.  I hear her open our storage room door and put away her pogo stick.  I hear her open the front door and I walk into the living room to see her clutching her chin with blood oozing from her fingers.  I calmly (calm on the outside, but inside hyperventilating) walked her to the sink to rinse off and quickly realized that the massive gash in her chin was in need of more than a bandaid.  So, I call Justin and tell him to hurry home, now! And tell Taylor she is in charge for 10 minutes until dad gets home.  Now I’m stressing about the amount of blood leaving one child’s face and the fact that Taylor was about to ‘babysit’ her brother for the first time.  I was almost certain that in those 10 minutes Justin would come home to the house on fire.  And so I sit, in Urgent Care once again.  Jordan needs 10 stiches.  She takes it like a champ…I almost pass out twice.

Shingles. Broken Hand. Stiches.

9 days later Justin gets a cell tumor removed from his hand (his dominant hand and more importantly his strumming hand) 4 days before our Christmas Eve services at church.  The tumor removal was more invasive than they anticipated so even now (over a month later) it is still bothers him sometimes.

Shingles. Broken Hand. Stiches. Hand Surgery.

Add to that I was 8 months pregnant and due “any day”.

Now, as Justin can attest, any one of these things would typically send me into stress overload.  Unplanned events creeping in and causing my perfectly organized schedule to become a mess.  But for some reason (probably for only the 5^th time in my life) shrugged it off and thought, “Why not? What’s next?”  At some point I just decided to giggle/laugh right along with God as I realized I have absolutely no control.  Silly me for thinking otherwise. And here we are a month later back to our chaotic, crazy, normal.

We are Bad Parents

MOST nights you will find Team Davis eating dinner together around the dinner table.  Granted, this has lately involved me laying on the couch with my feet up looking at the dinner table trying to reduce the size of my preggo feet.  

There are a few rules around the table:

• NO electronics or toys – purely family time and conversation 
• NO getting up without asking to be excused (which at the end of the meal includes a “thank you” to whoever made or bought the meal) 
• LISTEN when others are talking and do not talk over them

For the most part, the kids (and the parents) do a pretty good job at the rule following.  Most dinners also involve a “Best Part/Worst Part of Day” or as some people call it “the highs/lows”.  During one of these conversations Taylor was expressing her frustrations around a particularly difficult day and that all their friends tell them they have “bad parents”.   Her face quickly showed the fear of repeating such a statement and you could see that she was certain there would be some consequence for calling us “bad”.  Instead I smiled…

Me: That’s great! I’m glad your friends think I’m a bad mom

Jordan: Doesn’t it make you angry that they call you bad?

Me: Nope! You talk about these kids all the time (note: these kids are particularly mean, bullying, selfish, spiteful children) – I don’t want to be the kind of mom they think is “good”.

Taylor: They say you are bad because you don’t let us have our own smart phones and that you won’t let us get on youtube by ourselves or search Google whenever we want.

Me: Exactly! I’ll proudly take the title of “Bad Mommy” if protecting you, loving you, and raising you the way God has called me to is “bad”.

This got me thinking about John 15:17-19

18 “If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you.19 If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.

Let me define “world”.  By “world” I mean anyone that is not a Christian (defining Christian well would take another 5 pages so I’m going to skip that for now).  In other words, the “world” hated Christ.  Because we have surrendered our lives to live the way Christ has called us, they therefore hate us.

My kids deal with the “hate” of the world on a daily basis.  From being picked on because they follow the rules (as Taylor puts it “you can only be in the ‘cool’ group at school if you do stuff that is bad and makes the teachers angry) to being nice to those that are being excluded (Taylor talking to the girl in her class with the yellow teeth and bad breath that everyone makes fun of).  It’s hard for them.  It’s hard for us (Justin and I) to listen our kids nearly daily express their hurt around being called names, being ostracized, and being physically attacked on occasion because they are being raised to do the RIGHT thing.  To add to that they are picked on because of the choices their parents are making to protect them from the “world”. 

I want to clarify what I mean by “protect them from the world”.

Living in the World is NOT bad. Our entire lives my kids will be surrounded by the “world”.  That is not bad.  In fact, we are called (as Christians) to “Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation.” (Mark 16:15) We are expected to live in the “world” surrounded by those that are not Christians and that is not a bad thing at all. My kids are encouraged to talk to us about things they are unfamiliar with or things they hear that seem to contrary to what we believe.  Like when my 4th grader comes home and asks about why her friends are talking about how they have sex already.  She asks what that means. Then in 5th grade she asks why they do it if they aren’t married (or at least they say they are doing it) when we have taught her that sex is for marriage.  We don’t’ shy away from these conversations, we have them, we encourage them.  We explain the biblical principles behind them so, when it comes time, they can make her own educated choices based on biblical principles.

We do NOT expose them to things in the world that will CAUSE them to sin.  This can mean different things to different people.  This can even be different depending on which of my kids we are talking about.  They all struggle with their own things.  For us this means things like making sure all “Google” searches are done with a parent nearby because even the most innocent of searches can return something like pornographic images/sites (which are a sin).  This means things like not allowing my 10 year old to have a cell phone because she is still learning to stand up for herself (learning to say NO to peer pressure) and she tells me about the things she has seen on friends phones (yes, 4th graders are sending penis pictures to each other, using group chats to bully each other, encouraging each other to steal some cash from their parents, and so on).

We expect them to LOVE the world. We also explain to them we are called to love the world.  That we, as Christians, are no better than the world.  That we ALL deserve hell.  That the only difference between “us” and “them” is that we have realized our brokenness and made the decision to be a Christian (again this is a complicated definition that I will not get into now).  That doesn’t make us better.  And because of that we should LOVE everyone like God loves us, Christian or not.  It means that just because somebody might be living a life of sin, doesn’t mean we get to be mean to them or disrespect them.

So, what is the point of this post?! That’s a great question.\

The point is that I’m proud to be a ‘bad mommy’.  I’m proud of my kids for repeatedly going against the “flow” of the world and standing strong in their beliefs.  I’m proud to say the world hates me because I refuse to live like those in the world (YES I make mistakes – I’m not perfect). I proud to admit that we will not shy away from difficult conversations with our kids about sex, drugs, and rock and roll because it could be uncomfortable. If the world hates me for doing the right thing, then I’m doing something right (if a murderer hates you for telling him murder is wrong… that’s a good thing).

BUT it sucks.  Having a child call me names like “bad mommy” doesn’t bother me one bit, but for my kids it can be devastating.  It sucks that I know it will never really get easier – that their entire lives they will be ‘hated’.  But, we (as Christian parents) can encourage them that pleasing the Lord is worth more than pleasing the world.  That in the end, all the hate we experience towards us will be worth it.