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Friday, December 21, 2012

All You Need is Jordan

So to full appreciate these stories I need to start at the beginning. 

The Ant Home
In first grade my best friend Jennifer Parr and I decided it was a great idea to build an arena for the red ants playing in our playground.  A safe place for them near the wall and away from the bottom of the slide.  We figured they’d appreciate it.

It took us several days to construct this arena with its beautiful rows of seating and a leaf roof to keep out sun and rain.  The only task left was to dig out all the red ants from the ant mound at the bottom of the slide and move them to their new home.

Needless to say, they were not a fan of this idea and I had swollen bitten hands to prove it.

The Death of Rock and Roll
My roommate and I were note the cleanest of people (well really it was mostly my mess – lets be honest), but we weren’t gross nasty people either.

I think the ants were drawn to our stunning beauty.  Whatever it was, they were randomly appearing in our dorm room.  One day they were all up in our laundry basket – another they were waiting for us when we climbed into bed! Yeah, it was horrible.

At some point we called for help and when the guys came to inspect there was not an ant to be seen.  On a completely unrelated note we decided we needed pets and got ourselves 2 tree frogs.

We named the Rock and Roll.  They were awesome tree frogs and we fed them crickets daily.

One weekend I came home after work and went to the cricket cage to get Rock and Roll their meal only to find NO crickets and a few ants stuck in the cage.  The freakin’ ants at our crickets!!  I called my roommate to tell her what happened and as I was calling I looked in the cage and noticed I didn’t see Rock and Roll.  Crap – they must have gotten out! (FYI their cage “roof” as only a taped on piece of paper towel).

As I was beginning to mourn the loss of our runaways I saw something moving in the frog tank and screamed (probably more a shriek) as I saw the entire bottom the tank was lined with ants and the movement was the ants carrying the bone of a frog leg!! No joke people.  We have pictures some where to prove it.  The stupid ants ate my crickets AND the frogs! They ate our frogs ALIVE!! 

That was the day that Rock and Roll was dead.

Jordan – Ant Slayer
Most recently the ants have taken a different approach to destroying my life.  First I saw a couple near our computers and decided maybe we should stop snacking in front of the computer screen.  Later I saw a stray ant or two in the kitchen and decided maybe I should get better at rinsing dishes and not just setting them on the counter.

There were never enough to be concerned, but their final location is what baffles me.  On a nearly daily basis there are 2-5 ants roaming our bathroom!  Not even the bathroom trash.  The sink, the bathtub, the towel cupboard.  I don’t understand.

This morning Jordan followed me to the bathroom (like she does on most mornings – click here for more on that) and shrieked “there’s something crawling on the wall!”  I looked and saw an ant and told her to squish it.  She looked at me puzzled then took the toilet paper roll she had in her hand (a whole other story) and began trying to poke at it.  I grabbed her little finger and helped her showed her how to squish it right.

From there on she was on a mission. While I showered I would hear her “Got you”, “Don’t run away I need to squish you!”

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

"How are you today?" - "Tired"

When you’re a mom of 3 kids and a Wife of a man who sleeps through almost anything life tends to go a little like this:

6:00 PM – Home from work and making dinner
6:30 PM – Eating dinner (and baking cookies)
7:00 PM – Shower time for the kids
7:30 PM – Daddy time with the kids
8:00 PM – Bed time for the kids
8:30 PM – Still trying to get kids to stay in bed
9:00 PM – Time with the Hubby
11:00 PM – Sweet, sweet pillow
2:30 AM – Jordan yells for you to tuck her in which she has never ever done before and decided tonight was the night to start asking
3:00 AM – Fall back to sleep
3:30 AM – Elijah yells from under his door “Mama! Mama!” and you ignore it for 10 minutes hoping it stops and then realize it wont and get him a drink of “muilk”
4:00 AM – Fall back to sleep
4:30 AM – Taylor stands by your bedside to tell you she had a nightmare and you tell her to go sleep on the couch because you don’t want to deal with her kicking you while you try to enjoy what little sleep you have left to get
5:00 AM – Fall back to sleep
5:30 AM – Hear the ::thud thud thud:: of Jordan running from her room to the couch to join her sister
6:15 AM – Alarm goes off and you hit snooze like 5 times knowing you are not actually getting any extra sleep but its nice to think you are
8:00 AM – Realize that your hopes and dreams of taking a nap during your lunch break are crushed because of a company lunch (can’t complain about free food though!)

Friday, December 14, 2012

A Reminder - They are Not My Own

I walked home from school one day in high school and saw a little boy about 8 years old across the street.

Boy: Hey Sexy, why don’t you come over here and show me some love ::gestures to his boy parts::

I ignored him and kept walking as he continued to shout at me.  A man in a car pulled up next to him.

Man: Get in the car
Boy: Dad, that bi*%& is ignoring me
Man: Hey bi*&$ my boy’s talking to you – don’t ignore him.  If you knew what was good for you, you’d obey a man when he tells you what to do.

I ignored them and kept walking as they drove along side me and yelled and continued to make inappropriate gestures and comments.

After they gave up I began to cry and decided at that point – I’m never having kids.  If the world we are in today produces kids like that I didn’t want to bring a kid into the world and expose them to it.

That obviously didn’t happen and I’m glad I have my 3 beautiful babies.  But then things happen.  Stupid, sinful, fallen people make horrible decisions and I remember that day when I vowed not to have kids.

As a parent I could “shelter” my kids.  I could keep them home instead of going to a public school. I could only let them hang out with friends from church.  I could hide them away so they do not get “damaged” or “tarnished” and keep them to myself. 

But I don’t.

It is not my job to protect them from sin.  They are born into.

It is my job to show them the truth and the way to be redeemed from that sin; then to give them the opportunity to spread that truth to a world full of lies.

Which choice brings more glory to God? After all, they do not really belong to me so who am I to prevent them from doing what their Father has called them to do?

In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.

Matthew 28:19-20
Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

Thursday, December 13, 2012

It's Almost Here

I’m sort of giddy.  HoliDavis is nearly here.

It reminds me of how much I REALLY enjoy hosting people at my home.  I like to bring people together to have fun mostly – so it doesn’t have to be at my home.

It also reminds me of how tiny my apartment is and how much I really to look forward to the day I have a living room/dining room large enough to actually fit people comfortably.

Don’t worry though, Sam assured me that when he wins 5 million dollars he’ll buy himself and us a house next door to each other with an adjoining porch… I predict living room walls that will fold down so that our living rooms could also become one HUGE living room for massive game nights.

This also makes me think of Scrubs and the “Porch” JD had (I think it was JD).

There are 13 adults and 9 kids coming to my place this Saturday…that’s 22 people!!  In a 3 bedroom apartment!

I know my friends love me when they are willing to cram themselves around a table to enjoy some grub and games.

I have the best friends (it’s been like a whole week since I’ve reminded you of this absolute truth).

There will be my first ever turkey!! (And ham in case I screw up the turkey)
There will be a game with prizes (a game that will now be a tradition thanks to Kim)
There will be kids running around and demolishing the kid’s bedrooms
There will be laughter – hopefully a lot of it
There will be goodie bags to take home (for the adults – I baked 288 cookies!)
There will be hand crafted ornaments to take home (for the kids)

Most importantly though there will be time with my friends (remember the best friends in the world) who love me almost as much as I love them.

I’ll try not to forget pictures so my other amazing friends that could not come or just could not fit in my INSANELY full house can join in the festivities a few days late.

Monday, December 10, 2012

In Case I Forgot I'm Not 20 Anymore

Surprise! I like my friends – a lot.

Ok, so that’s not really a surprise since I think I mention on a nearly monthly basis that I have the best friends in the world.  I’m sorry your friends probably lack in comparison, but at least you can find comfort in the fact you are my friend so therefore you are awesome.

I like to have my friends over and as I have also mentioned before it’s a pain to do that, but my awesome friends deal with the hassle anyway to come over.

A last minute night happened about a week ago when the Newmyers and Registers came over.  For those of you who don’t know (and if you’re reading this you probably do know since I don’t think any non-friends read this) those families consist of:

Matt: The worship pastor at our church who before he even met us volunteered himself to help us move. 
Kim: That guy’s wife and one of those people I feel like I should have known my entire life – she has a juke box in her head – I admire that
Sophie: The cute little baby that has made recent appearances in my blog due to Elijah’s obvious fascination with “Soapy”

Taylor: The guy my daughter adores since they share a name which means they must be twins or something close to it.
Kandyce: The soon to be mommy (come out baby!!) that picked the RIGHT college to go to unlike her brother.

Last minute we decided to get together to hang out.  We played some of those games we don’t usually get to play since the group that’s over is much larger like Clue (FYI: Kim did not win) and poker.

After a ton of laughing and mild harassment we called it quits around 2 am with the hopes with sleeping in the following morning.  Only 1 of the 3 couples accomplished this (hint: it was the couple with a kid on the way, but not yet here).  I may or may not be jealous. 

But it was SO worth it.

No pictures.  Use your imagination – it’ll be good for your inner child.

Friday, December 7, 2012

When "Soapy" Comes To Play

First of all (are you impressed I didn't start with the word "So" because I am), I have sort of been MIA.  It's not because I haven't wanted to blog, but with Christmas coming things get busy.

For some of you I expect you will thouroughly enjoy the lack of blogging when your Christmas goodies arrive (special shout out to Aunty Jen and Uncle Buck who are actually the only ones who get shipped their goodies).  For the rest of you - I can post the recipees later and you can make them yourselves.

I have things I want to write about, but even though I have a little blog "to do list" lets be honest, they'll probably never make it here, but I'll try.

For now I will again share some random stories about my kids (and a good friend's kid) from last night.

Last night Justin headed out for worship practice and I got the chance to hang out with baby Sophie again.

It really was a great night.

Here are some of the highlights that I hope you enjoy as much as I do.

Taylor age 5
Jordan age 4
Elijah age 2
Sophie 9 months

Elijah: com’on Soapy, Com’on.  ::whine::
Me: What’s wrong Eli?
Elijah: Soapy play cars (he wanted Sophie to play cars with him which ended with each car in her mouth)
Me: She’s too little to play with your cars ::pick up Sophie and take her back to the toys in the living room::
Elijah: SOAPY! Come here!! ::Sophie crawls quickly to Eli’s room:: Soapy come in bed, com’on Soapy.
Me: Elijah, Sophie doesn’t need to get in your bed
Elijah: Com’on Soapy, come in bed.
Me: Sophie can play with the other toys :: pick up Sophie and take her back to the toys in the living room::
Elijah: ::slowly starts taking all the toys out of the living room to his room:: Soapy! Com’on, come play toys.  ::Sophie crawls to Eli’s room – I follow her to see Elijah has moved all the toys into his bed and again is trying to coax Sophie into his bed::
Me:: Seriously?!

Jordan: Mommy, can we make birthday cards for Jesus?
Me: That’s a great idea! ::help girls get started::
Taylor: Mommy, I’m going to draw a picture of what I’m going to give Jesus for his birthday
Me: ok
Taylor: ::coloring with deep concentration:: Look mommy – it’s my heart!
Me: Taylor that’s great! Why do you want to give Jesus your heart for his birthday?
Taylor: Because I love him and he loves me and he takes care of us when we make mistakes.
Me: ::melts::


Jordan: Can I feed Sophie?
Me: No, she can hold the bottle by herself, she’s getting big
Jordan: ::sits next to me and begins rubbing my belly::
Me: What are you doing?
Jordan: I’m making the baby grow in your belly so I can feed her a bottle.
Me: ::sigh:: Jordan, I already told you mommy is not having any more babies
Jordan: ::runs to her room crying::

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Things My Kids Said - 2012 Edition

You know – the normal conversations that happen around our house:

Story 1:

Justin: Explaining his dream
Jordan: I walked in the room and saw you naked!
Me: What? When did you do that (terror in my mind thinking of what she may have witnessed)
Jordan: In the dream

Apparently, Jordan felt left out of Justin’s dream and decided to add her self to it.  Permanently scarring image burned into her brain averted.

Story 2:

I’m sitting in bed typing away on my laptop working.  Jordan lays in bed next to me and starts swiping her finger across the screen:

Me: What are you doing?
Jordan: I’m trying to change the picture!

Story 3:
Taylor: Mommy can I play on your iPod?
Me: We don’t have an iPod, do you mean Daddy's Kindle?
Jordan: No she means your game-pod! (FYI she means gameboy)
Story 4:

Taylor: Elijah you're so beautiful
Jordan: No he's gorgeous
Taylor: Ok, he's handsome

Story 5:
As Taylor sits doing homework Jordan watches and says "Taylor, that's exactly right!"
Story 6:
Taylor: mom why do you make me brush my teethe every day and every day
Me: ::scare tactics - Look up tooth decay images on google::
Taylor: Can I have more toothpaste?
Story 7:
Taylor: Why is a lot of Candy bad for you?
Justin: Because if you eat too much it can mess your liver and then you get diabetes.
Jordan: What is dia-bevus?
Story 8:
Taylor: ::scream:: Mommy my tooth is broke!
Me: What happened?
Taylor: Its all wiggly
Me: Yay your first tooth is loose! You're going to get grown up teeth
Taylor: ::starts crying:: I don't want big fat teeth