Family Life (82) Surrogacy (66) Rachael (44) So Sayith... (23) Justin (17) Jordan (16) Taylor (14) Elijah (7) Nerdness (3) Adoption (2)

Monday, May 26, 2014

So Sayith Tay, Jay, and Eli #5

What season is it?

Taylor: Summer.

Jordan: Summer

Elijah: Batman.

What do you like to do in the summer?

Taylor: Go at the beach, play at the pool, whatever is really fun.

Jordan: Play ball in the pool.

Elijah: Batman flyer and batman motorcycle.

What do you want to do most this summer?

Taylor: Go to the beach and pool go at the water park and I remember how to swim.

Jordan: Go in the pool.

Elijah: Play with Batman flyer up to the sky.

What is the worst part about summer?

Taylor: I don't think I have one.

Jordan: That I have to do clothes. (we made her hang her own clothes today)

Elijah: People mad at someone.

What do you never want to do during summer?

Taylor: I don't have one either.

Jordan: Do the clothes.

Elijah: Hang out with daddy at the beach.

What is your favorite season? Why?

Taylor: Winter and Summer because they are really really really fun.

Jordan: Summer, because it feels hot and sometimes I get to go to the beach.

Elijah: Batman flyer already.

Tell me a story about summer.

Taylor: Summer is fun.  Really fun.  It is so fun that I like to jump in the pool, go down waterfalls, and go wherever there is water.  The End.

Jordan: Ana with Olaf singing a song about summer.

Elijah: Frozen heart.

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

The Doctor Knows Best?

I have a blood disorder called Beta Thalassemia Minor.  There are 4 ‘versions’ of the disorder and in order of severity mine is 2nd to last.  Ready for a science lesson (in hopefully understandable terms)?

Hemoglobin’s job is to carry oxygen through your body.  Hemoglobin is found in your body’s red blood cells.  With Thalassemia my red blood cells die at a faster rate than “normal” people and my body does not produce as much of the “beta globin” (part of what makes up the hemoglobin) so my body has less red blood cells and less hemoglobin.  Because I have the “minor” version this really just translates into chronic anemia.  Literally my body is unable to be not-anemic because my red blood cells are slightly deformed and/or smaller than normal and cannot “grab” iron like they should.
Normal people have a hemoglobin level at 12+.  I usually have a hemoglobin level of 10.  When I’m pregnant I am at about 8.  I have once dropped to 6 and required a blood transfusion.
Because of the thalassemia my body just can’t use/move all the iron that my body needs to function “well” (translated to I’m anemic).  So the un-educated doctor would say “take iron supplements” without realizing that all that will do is put extra iron in my blood that the red blood cells can’t handle.  This extra iron gets jammed in “tissue” in my body and can shut down vital organs.
This may sound like I’m being overdramatic, but my parents got to experience the “iron overload” first hand when I was young and an un-educated doctor had me taking iron.  An Educated doctor found out and told them to stop them immediately – they were killing me.
So when my OB sent me an email today asking me to start taking iron pills I panicked.  YES it is possible to take the iron pills and not die – but the chance is still there.  The chance that the dose isn’t “just right” is there.  And that terrifies me.  My levels are at a 9…is getting to that 10 so important that I risk organ failure? Granted I’m sure we’d catch it before it got that bad.
When do I tell a doctor “NO”.  No I won’t take those pills…  It could be for the best.  It could make me feel better.  It could help my body get what it needs…but there’s that looming possibility it can do something so much worse.
So I emailed her back and asked what other options we have.  And let her know that I was super sick last week so I couldn’t eat an iron rich diet like normal and I threw up my prenatal vitamins which could have skewed my results from the blood test yesterday.
So let’s pray she’ll let me re-take the test in a week or so once I’ve gotten back to my normal food intake for a while OR offer a different solution than the supplements.
On the bright side...Thalassemia is thought to make you immune to I have that going for me!

Monday, May 19, 2014

Taylor Is 7 (and 4 months)

Pretend with me that Taylor just turned 7…and ignore the truth that she actually did in January…
Because I’ve started this blog like 50 times and each time decided I didn’t have enough time to do it justice and said “I’ll do it later”.  So maybe this is 4 months late. 
And maybe you are getting a crappy quick version of it as I cram it in my 10 minute break at work because Elijah is turning 4 in 3 weeks and I know I can’t put off BOTH of these.
So the boring stuff first:
Weight: 47 Pounds (25th Percentile)
Height: 4’ 2’’ (90th Percentile)
She’s tall and skinny – that hasn’t changed.  She’s awkward and lanky – that hasn’t changed.
Taylor is the most sensitive of our kids and takes everything quite personally.  She does not hold back any emotions and her behavior sometimes mirrors that of a 2 year old.  However, she is learning to get herself under control more quickly.  She is acknowledging her responsibility in her emotion outbursts and does try to do better.  She is very bright and picks up on things very quickly and remembers EVERYTHING.  Be careful not to say something in front of her you are not ready to have repeated and/or questioned.
She is very inquisitive and always wants to know more.  Which is good, but oh so annoying when you don’t feel like getting into a 20 minute discussion about why her hair is blonde and daddy’s is brown.
She is sensitive to what is going on around the home and likes to feel part of the “grow up stuff” as much as possible.
She is a complete goofball and tries so hard to be funny which usually translates to moving around awkwardly, but she does say some stinking hilarious things.
When not overly expressing her emotions she really is super fun to be around.  She makes me laugh often.  She loves to play games with us and make up her own for the “younger” ones to play with her.
And here is the fun part (for me at least): the pictures of her growth over the last 7 years!

Age 1

Age 2

 Age 3

Age 4

Age 5

 Age 6

 Age 7

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Spinach Vomit

So it’s Wednesday, 3:03 AM.  I wake up under a couple of blankets shivering and sweating at the same time.  I feel a tightness in my chest that only be described as eating an entire meal and having it sit there instead of making its way to your belly.  I have random shooting pains across my abdomen that isn’t “familiar”.  I lay there for about 20 minutes in self-panic.
What is wrong?
I am worried about the baby.  I feel her move and squirm like normal, but what if she’s moving around because something is wrong?
I am about to wake Justin to take me to the hospital when it hits me – I’m about to lose that meal that feels like its sitting in my chest.
I didn’t feel nauseous – just a sudden urge from my body saying “I WANT THIS OUT”.
And boy oh boy did it come out.  The flood gate exploded all over that poor toilet bowl…and lid… and I’m sure parts of the wall.  I had chunks of who knows what coming out of my mouth AND nose (I know you are glad I’m sharing).
An hour later my entire body was worn, my nose was bleeding, my eyes were watering, and I was exhausted.  I crawled into bed and woke Justin to get me some water as I texted/emailed the people I needed to so I could make sure my day was covered (work and getting Taylor to/from school).
And I slept – so so much.  At the time I thought it was the flu, but it didn’t seem to last that long.  Something really was just “off”.  I spent most of my day sleeping – snacking on crackers and drinking Gatorade; too scared to eat a real meal.
And now today I sit at my desk.  Trying for the last 2 hours to eat my lunch with that same tightness in my chest.  It’s like the baby is taking up all the room and she won’t let my body get the food to my stomach.  I’d like to eat, but I’m scared to take another bite in fear of a repeat of yesterday morning’s events.
And I’d like a nap – but it’s 104 degrees outside and way too hot to nap in my car.
I also have no desire to proof read this email so you are welcome for all the poorly worded sentences, misused words, and confusion.

Tuesday, May 13, 2014


There are inconsistencies everywhere.  But in the last few days there have been 2 particular ones rattling around in my brain.
The first is how we (“we” as in the U.S.) currently treat life.  I read an article the other day about a woman addicted to heroin.  When she found out she was pregnant she got help.  Her doctor told her quitting cold turkey could kill the baby at that point so they had her on a program – a prescribed opiate that would help her slowly get herself clean.  She was trying to get clean and still give her baby the best chance of survival – it was recommended by her doctor.
When the baby was born it went through withdrawals and the hospital called Child Protective Services (CPS) and she was essentially charged with endangerment… they monitored her to see if she should keep the baby, but the article goes on to say many mothers have their babies taken from them in the same scenario.
So what “we” are saying is that because the mom did something dangerous while the baby was in the womb she is endangering the baby so it is “bad”.
The inconsistency is that the “we” that say she shouldn’t take ANY drug (even doctor prescribed) because it could hurt the baby is the same “we” that allows you to kill that same baby.  It is endangerment to take a drug while a baby is in your womb, but completely acceptable to kill a baby while in the womb? WHAT? It’s ok for a woman to “choose” to kill a baby, but it is not ok for that same woman to “choose” to take a doctor prescribed mediation?
The other is related to consequences.  As parents we strive (amongst many things) to teach our children that there are consequences to the choices they make and actions they take.  If you stick your hand in the fire – you’ll get burned.  If you talk back or yell at your mother you’ll get your cheek flicked.  If you don’t clean your room when you are told you’ll go in time out.  If you stay up late you’ll be tired for school in the morning.  Our goal is for them to learn right from wrong – moral from immoral – just from unjust.  So why do we as adults have such a hard time accepting that?
We expect our kids to accept the consequences of their bad choices, but what adult doesn’t get angry when they get pulled over and ticketed for speeding?  How many times have you heard somebody say something like “I always get the ticket – they never give me a warning” or “I was only going a little over the speed limit”?  We teach our kids that a rule is a rule no matter how dumb they think it is.  I can tell you that when Taylor gets grounded for not bringing her homework home for a week she thinks the rule is “dumb”.  We teach her, it is still a rule – you broke that rule and must endure the consequences.  So why, as the parent, can we not accept that same fact?  Why is it ok to go 5 miles an hour over the speed limit because the “rule” is dumb? The truth is – there is no difference.  We just convince ourselves that “they” have to follow the rules, but we’re the exception. 
I hate inconsistences.  I’m one of those rule followers.  If it is a rule, it is there to be followed.  If the rule is “wrong” or “dumb” work on getting it changed.  If the rule breaks/violates what is in the Bible THAN break the rule.
So don’t kill babies and follow the “rules”.  The End.

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

The Not So Little Eggplant

So it’s official.  I think of the size of this kid and think…that is not little.  If I wasn’t sure based on what my little app tells me, the strength and reach of the kicks and wiggles is a good indicator.

I haven’t updated recently at all about how things are going.  I’d like to say it’s because thinking of her growing size causes me such terror I can’t bring myself to write about it, but that would be a lie.  So instead I’ll say I’m just a slacker.

A tired, sore, and grumpy slacker.

I can barely stay awake long enough at home to make dinner.

My back has been so sore that all I want to do is lay down with my feet up and relax (or fall asleep).

My patience with my kids is pretty much non-existent (seriously…I sent Taylor to her room during dinner because she was whining and said to her, “I just need a break from you! Go away for 5 minutes and then come back”)

But as far as I know I’m healthy.  The baby is healthy.  And things are going well.  We’re just waiting those 14 weeks and 5 days more.

I get to experience the joys of pregnancy and/or your 4th pregnancy:

·         Being out of breath just walking up stairs
·         Feeling like your feet will fall off after walking around the mall for a few hours
·         Eating until your full only to realize it was because the baby was in a weird position so when she moves you realize you are still quite hungry
·         Trying not to pee on myself with every sneeze and cough
·         Feeling the baby wiggle and jiggle (like the little old lady who swallowed a spider)
·         Watching your kids talk to and touch your belly
·         Imagining what her little face looks like
·         Imagining what it will be like when her mommy and daddy see that little face for the first time
I’m SO EXCITED!  And tired… and EXCITED! And sore.
I’m also in “planning” mode.  I think I have this alternate version of “nesting” where I have to over plan EVERYTHING.  So that’s what I’m doing.  I’m adjusting my budget for the 500th time to ensure we have enough money set aside for Maternity Leave.  I’m trying to schedule and readjust things at work for when I’m Maternity Leave.  And I’m even making plans on what to do with my time off for Maternity Leave.  If I have my way I’ll take 2 weeks off work total.  1 week before and 1 week after: to avoid going crazy being home alone.  But since that is probably not going to happen I’m trying to think of things to get done at home to pass the time.
So there you have it.  My thoughts and ramblings since the last time I wrote about this kiddo like a month ago.