Labels

Family Life (79) Surrogacy (66) Rachael (43) So Sayith... (22) Justin (16) Jordan (14) Taylor (12) Elijah (5) Nerdness (3) Adoption (2)

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Playing Pretend

Last night Justin and I were playing a game and heard Taylor talking to herself. We listed to her conversation with herself and realized she was just playing.

She was talking to “somebody” or “something” and replying to herself in a different voice. We were laughing to ourselves as she explained to this “thing” or “person” (not sure which) that they had to be a good listener and scolding them when they talked back (ie her talking back to herself).

When we’d ask her what she was doing she would get super shy and say “playing pretend”. LOVE it! It was one of the cutest things I’ve seen from her to date.

Friday, December 10, 2010

A Hop, Skip, and Jump of Faith

Some of you may know that since Justin and I have been married we’ve lived with my parents. Sparing you the LONG story, one thing after another has led to us being stuck (blessed) at my parent’s house. Up until recently it has been going well with very little conflict and/or friction. However, since the addition of a new baby for myself and my little sister to the house things have changed. It has become increasingly difficult for all of us.

That being said, I feel its time to move on. I wish it was as easy as picking a new place, but with only $525 a month to pay in rent we have little to no options. However, the city I work in has an amazing affordable housing program! I can get a 3 bedroom apt for $909/month or a 2 bedroom for $806/month. The catch(es):

1. The waiting list is ridiculously long. I can put in our application today and hear back in 2 days or 2 years.
2. I need to figure out how on just my income to make an extra $6,000/year translated to $500/month translated to $3/hour. Note with 3 kids it is much cheaper for Justin to continue to stay at home for them because it would pretty much cost us money for him to work

Needless to say, this option is perfect for us (so I think), but at this time not doable. With that being said we are taking a step of faith. I am submitting our application and praying that when we get that phone call that an apartment is available we will have the extra $500 needed to move out of my parents and into a place of our for the first time in the 5 years we’ve been married. Knowing that if the place becomes available before we are able to pay for it we most likely will not get a second chance.

Please pray for us! For the health of our relationships with each other and those we live with we need to get out. Pray that the extra $500 each month we need comes from somewhere, anywhere. Pray that if this is not God’s will the door with shut abruptly and a new door opened. Thank you to all those that love and pray for us!

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Little Miss...


Jordan is the CUTEST ever right now! She says and does the most amazing things and I wonder sometimes how my girls can be so vastly different with the same parents, and the same rules.

Jordan is…

Little Miss Polite – always says please, thank you, ‘welcome (you’re welcome) even if she get’s them mixed up.
Jordan: drink please
Me: here you go
Jordan: thank you, welcome

Little Miss Mom – always bringing us Elijah’s toys, blanket, bottle, diaper, socks; even when we don’t need them.
Elijah just finished his bottle and I stick it on the counter while I go lay him down. I turn around and Jordan is holding the empty bottle to his mouth “here go ‘Lijah”

Little Miss Organized – A place for everything and everything in its place. She does NOT like things out of place. Without telling her she places items where she thinks they belong.
Justin had his glasses off while he played with Elijah and Jordan brought them to him (hands on each lenses) trying to put them back on his face.

Little Miss Clean – Granted, she’s still a kid and her toys can be ANYwhere, but trash, crumbs, and a ‘dirty booty’ won’t do.
Jordan sits to go potty (she is mostly potty trained at 2years 2 months!), she get’s up and says “yucky booty mommy!”
Jordan also throws anything she thinks is trash away… I’m pretty sure we’ve lost a few important things into the black abyss.

Little Miss Antagonizer – She knows buttons and how to push them to test her limits.
I’m pretty sure her favorite pastime is seeing how upset she can make Taylor. I mean Taylor is quite the drama queen and anything can send her into a fit of tears or frustration, but Jordan knows just the right buttons to push. Jordan will take something of Taylor’s and back away teasing her with it OR run and hide with it under our legs laughing mischievously as we hear Taylor screaming “noooo Jordan”

Little Miss Clumsy – there is not a door, wall, refrigerator, couch she has not run into or a toy, sock, carpet, she hasn’t tripped over. Best part is she’s a TANK! She gets up and keeps going blood and all.

Little Miss Lover – she gives the best hugs and kisses!
Jordan has the perfect way of just cuddling with us that makes you feel so comforted. I don’t know how she does it, but that 2 year old can brighten my day with her perfect little hug and tender kisses (or butterfly kisses – which she thinks means hitting her cheek against your face).



She’s an amazing middle child that holds her own in the house. I know she won’t be ‘forgotten’ or ‘left out’ of anything.

Monday, December 6, 2010

On the Move

Elijah is on the move. Granted he’s moving like he’s blindfolded, underwater, and slightly intoxicated, but he’s moving.

By moving I don’t mean crawling though. He’s scooting and launching himself to get to his desired (not so desired) location. I am not even sure if he means to do it or if is actually ending up where he hopes, but he’s moving.

How he moves:

-He gets on his hands and knees and throws himself toward something he wants
-With head down and butt up he plows himself forward
-He rolls and twists his way somewhere... I don’t even think he knows where he’s headed
-He sits up, but that’s not really moving until he falls over after about 5 minutes

He turned 6 months yesterday! (Dec 5th) and he is moving. My baby boy is growing too fast! Knowing this is our last makes these milestones that much sweeter. Sorry no pictures yet, I’ll work on that.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Happy Blakes-Giving

Every year (I think 5 years now) the Blakes have a Thanksgiving Potluck at their house the weekend before Thanksgiving. It is wonderful! Amazing food, great friends, and this year… lots of babies!

Ali (the female half of the Blake household) was due the same day I was due with Elijah. It was so fun to be able to experience the journey with her and be exactly as far along as her. We would both get our email updates at work with “how big baby is” and look over our cubicle walls at each other and talk about them.

There was many an email between us comparing items on our baby registries from what was the best price to the cutest colors. The best part was once maternity leave started and the anticipation of “who would pop first”

The answer was… neither. Our boys would NOT come out! We both had to be induced to get the new babies out. Ali delivered her handsomely, adorable son Caedmon on June 3rd and on June 5th my doctor forced out my little guy.


This Blakes-Giving was the first time our boys got to meet. It was so amazing to me to see them interact… practically the same exact age. So different and so similar. I sure wish I lived closer so they could spend more time together, but the time we did have was still awesome.

Blakes-Giving is a great way to start of this holiday season. Of course some pictures of the little guys are below. Elijah on the left and Caedmon on the right.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Right Now

I am so blessed with my 3 very different kiddos. They are all so unique (still more to learn about Elijah of course). I wouldn’t trade them for ANYthing. I’m not sure why these past few days have made me dwell on the thought of how much I love them, but I have been and here are some of thoughts as a result:

*right now my kids cuddle and love on me… someday they wont want to
*right now my kids run to kiss me and hug me…someday they will be embarrassed to even be around me
*right now my kids tell me stories… someday they won’t even want to talk to me
*right now my kids get angry at me and a joke makes it all better…someday they will slam doors and yell things like “I HATE YOU”
*right now my kids ask for help…someday they will want to do it all on their own
*right now I am my kids’ best friend…someday they will have “new” friends and won’t want mommy to embarrass them
*right now my kids get sick and need mommy to take care of them…someday they will have a spouse take care of them
*right now my kids need me to show them who Jesus is…someday they will tell others
*right now my kids need me to change them and bathe them…someday they will change/bathe their kids
*right now my kids need me… today I realize I will always need them

I’ve been realizing I need to relish these moments… I don’t remember where, but some movie or something had amazing quote: “Enjoy them while they chase after you…someday soon you will be chasing after them”… or something like that

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

A Note for God's Ambassadors

My girls love to watch Shanda and her videos on her blog. She is teaching in China right now which the girls are slightly familiar with since their Aunt Gemmy spends a good deal of time in China as well.

Needless to say after Shanda posted her last video about getting a package I decided to get together with the girls to write a “letter” to Shanda. They had so much fun and of course the letters turned into pictures since they are 3 and 2. Taylor, however, did write most of her name! She got the T, Y, L, O and I helped her with the A and R. She was very proud of herself.

This all got me thinking. I would love the girls to be able to “write” to missionaries. I know they can’t actually send letters or words of encouragement, but a picture from a small child is encouragement right? So here is what I’m thinking.

Once a month (or more) I’d like to pick a missionary that the girls and I can pray for at bedtime and mail a letter to. I’ll include of course a note that says we have been praying for them along with the pictures.

Because I do want to be able to note that we are praying for them I want to make sure that we are only mailing letters to people that are NOT in sensitive countries. I don’t want to jeopardize them in any way.

What I need help with:

Should I include a picture of the girls too? I’m assuming most of the people wont know us at all.
I need missionary’s names/addresses! Please send me a message via FaceBook with a missionary you know that is NOT in a sensitive area.
Also if anybody else with children of any age would like to be part of this we can send a whole pack of letters/pictures to the “Missionary of the Month” (Or more often depending on how many responses I get)

Thank you all so much!

Monday, November 15, 2010

The Brain of a 2 Year Old

She’s 2. There’s not a lot I expect her to understand, but there are some things I expect her to realize.

She needs to realize that when we freak out every time she sits on Elijah like she’s “riding a horse” it’s because it’s a bad thing!

She needs to realize that climbing in his crib in the middle of the night to see if he’s sleeping is NOT ok.

I know she’s only 2, but how to I keep her from killing Elijah! Every time I turn around I swear she’s sitting on him, or trying to pick him up by his head, or in his crib…sitting on him or waking him up. We’ve tried time out, a swat on the toosh, a discussion as to how it could hurt him, and even some moments of pure freakout! I’m out of ideas.

Also things I’d like advice on…

We’d like her to realize that lifting your leg to see where the pee comes from while peeing makes a mess on the floor…and you get in trouble.

We’d like her to learn to watch where she’s going (she will have stitches before she is 3). She is SO clumsy!

We’d like her to stop standing behind doors and subsequently being hit with them or tearing her foot up under them when they are opened. Jordan why are you crying? Oh you ran into the front of the fridge…again.
<--- Jordan vs. Door

We’d like her to stay potty trained and not be perfect one day and have an accident an hour the next.

We’d like her to learn that copying Taylor is not cute, especially when it’s the bad habits, it’s just annoying.

Do I just fee like Taylor was much easier, or was Taylor in fact MUCH easier?

However, there are some SUPER cute thing Jordan does that I find irresistible!

Jordan does a “stuck” face. I have to try and get it on video for you!

She repeats you in the cutest way ever! Example:

Me: Jordan What is this (hold up movie)
Jordan: Blah-Me
Me: What?
Jordan: Tom-laaaa
Me: Are you just yelling things?
Jordan: YELLING THINGS!! YAAAY

She’s a cuddler; Grandma calls her Lover Girl. She gives the best hugs and loves giving kisses.

She is the most polite child I know. She always says please, thank you, and you’re welcome.

She asks for high fives, and if you don’t give her one (usually because my hands are full) she’ll give herself one.

She loves to help. She gladly throws away diapers for me, or puts dishes in the sink, or even brings me things for Elijah, like wipes, when I forget them.

I LOVE that kid!

Friday, November 12, 2010

Half Productive or Half Lazy?

Yesterday was Veteran’s Day which means the Federal Reserve was closed which translates into banks being closed which means I was off. I had a whole lot of things I wanted to get done… I got to everything on my list, but didn’t finish a single thing on that list…

I washed all the laundry, but none of it is folded
I did a spot clean on the carpets, but didn’t do the vacuuming portion
I made a grocery list, but didn’t actually go shopping
I prepped the kids to go jump in piles of leaves, but realized it was too cold for mommy to actually go outside
I unthawed chicken for dinner, but Justin made hotdogs instead

What did I do? I’m not sure actually… Sort of just hung out with Justin and the kids. But doing nothing is sometimes the better then doing a lot of somethings. Back to work, and when I get home I must finish the other half of my to do list.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

The Nerdy School Girl

I am not a very quiet or shy person in general. I tend to be outgoing and rather social…in the right setting.

For some reason my whole life when it came to school I got focused. I tie it the fact that I am an “achiever” (from strength finders). In a nutshell, I like numbers. I like statistics. Not necessarily mathematical things, although I do adore math, but more goals for myself. I am that person who needs that A. Who cares if a B is passing I want the A. Not because with a better GPA I get a better scholarship or anything, but just to get the A.

All this to say, when I get to school/class I get in this “school mode”. I focus, I get quiet, I rarely ever talk, and I “achieve”. This has led to some great grades for myself fulfilling my need to achieve, but very few close friendships.

Outside of class I was the active, loud, social thing that nobody recognized. I was in drama in High School and on more then one occasion I had both teachers and other students tell me they were completely shocked when the saw me in a play…they never pictured me being so loud and being comfortable in front of all those people. This side of me is the “me” I know.

I sometimes find myself hearing about old friends from college or high school hanging out, visiting, still being very “close” and realize that my focus had pushed me away from so many people. I “knew” people from my classes, but I was never really that close to anyone. Not because I didn’t want to be, but because I was so focused on my school work that I didn’t realize I wasn’t making friends.

I now feel like I’ve missed out on huge part of my school experience. Looking back I wish I had take a B in my class in exchange for hanging out more with the other students. I wish I had been less driven and determined to be “perfect” in class and more driven towards building lasting relationships.

Of course now it is too late to go back, but I hang on dearly to the friendships I do have. I have managed to get my nose of book/computer long enough to make a few very close friendships and I wouldn’t change this for the world, but I do wonder what it would have been like to actually have made friends during school and not just acquaintances. I wonder if the people I “friend” on Facebook, or who’s blogs I read, actually know me or remember me? What do these people that I admire for being able to look outside of school and build the friendships I wish I would have actually think of me?

Do these people see that quiet nerdy school girl? Or did they mistake my focus and drive to be arrogance and conceit? Did they see a socially awkward girl or maybe just a shy one?

I don’t know what they see, or saw. I still wonder and would love to know out of pure curiosity of course, but I know who I am :) I know I thrive on social interaction of people I love and care for. I know I am quiet around strangers and the person who can’t stop talking around those I know and am close to. I know I am driven to get “good” numbers and have a hard time when I fall short of my goals. I love to serve and help anyone I possibly can in anyway that I possibly can to give my God the glory! I am a child of God, a wife, a mother and a friend (in that order) and will live my life according to that list! I am a nerdy school girl.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Mommies Can’t Get Sick

I went to work yesterday and was feeling super dizzy. I thought at first my Iron was low (I have a blood condition called Thalassemia) and I took an iron pill (which is normally VERY bad for me), but after an hour that wasn’t working.

I’ve had a cold since last Friday so I figure all the head congestion was causing the trouble. Needless to say, Justin came to pick me up from work because I didn’t think it would be a good idea to drive feeling as dizzy as I was.

I was talking with a friend from work about how being sick at home is worse then being sick someplace else like work. It’s easier to go take a nap in my car in the work parking lot then to go home and get rest. Kids, especially young ones, don’t understand that you can’t be “mommy” while you’re sick. As I lay in bed and try to get some sleep I appreciate Justin’s attempt to keep them away, but they just wanted to lay in cuddle with me to make mommy feel better.

The bombardment of questions, “Do you feel better yet?, Are you Asleep? Mommy do you have a tummy ache? Do you need kisses?” are sweet, but when you are just trying to sleep it off are rather inconvenient. So today I sit at work feeling super icky and wish I was in bed sleeping to get better, but I know my body is getting more rest sitting in front of my work computer then it could at home trying not to be ‘mommy’

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Happy Halloween!

Friday is when the Halloween festivities began for us. On Friday night our church did their Trunk-or-Treat with 50+ cars, bounce houses, games, and rides. Friday morning I woke up with a horrible cold so although we did make it to the event, we left pretty early.

The girls had so much fun going from car to car. Taylor was saying “trick or treat” and Jordan would tentatively go up and just open her bag for candy givers…well actually Jordan would walk up to anyone (including other kids) and open her bag waiting for candy.

The girls were very polite and said thank you after nearly every person they got candy from. Taylor even told Papa the next day “I say trick or treat and get candy then I say thank you.”

On Sunday, the plan was to go to Uncle Sam’s Church, but my cold kept me home with Elijah and Justin headed off with both girls. They did Trunk-or-Treat at Shoreline then headed to Grandpa Bob’s house to go to this crazy awesome area that had a whole street blocked off for a huge Star Wars themed Halloween thing.

In the end the kids had a great time and brought home way too much candy! I took out the chocolate for Justin, the hard candies to get rid of, the sour things for me, and they still have enough to last them several months.


Here is my Princess, Pirate, and last minute Baseball Player :)

.

Friday, October 29, 2010

When Messy Faces are Still Cute


Elijah will be 5 months old a week from today. My little man is growing! A couple of weeks ago we were sitting at the dinner table and while we were eating Elijah was just screaming away. Nothing would soothe him. It was one of those pull out your hair moments that left me feeling very overwhelmed. Not to mention since he was crying both girls were complaining that he was crying and telling me to fix it.

Was it teething? Was he hungry? I was stumped. Out of pure curiosity a made I tiny bowl of baby cereal to see if sucking on something a little thicker then milk might at least distract him for few moments of silence. I know it is way early to start him on food, but he loved it!

In the last two weeks he has gone to eating a couple meals a day of cereal and fruit. He kicks away in his little seat and coos and smiles the entire time. He loves to grub! Maybe it’ll help him bulk up a little too. (My kids run on the small side…go figure)

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Happy Roomate-aversary!

My best friend ever (Melisa Palomo) is an amazing photographer! She recently came to Jordan’s 2nd birthday party and graciously took photos of my whole family (immediate and extended). She is incredible and I can’t refer her enough to everyone I know.

I have a set of the pictures she took on my desktop and the photos here too (see above). Her real passion is pets and she does such a great job! I’ll make sure to include a link to her website at the end. Anyway, aside from her amazing photography she has the biggest heart.

I adore her and her husband Chris. They have gone out of their way for us several times and never once complain about it. They love to love and she is such a blessing to me. I sat here thinking today how it has been way too long since we have “hung out” its hard because she doesn’t live that close and 3 kids are a pain to tote around. Despite that I would trust her with ANYthing in my life. She tells me when I’m dumb and loves me when I just need a hug.

I just felt the need today to say I LOVE YOU MEL! I don’t know if its true or not, but I deem today, October 21st our 7 year best-friend-aversary or roooomate-aversary…I’m going to go with Roomate-aversary.

Happy 7th Roomate-aversary! I dub this day in 2003 the day we both decided we were true roommates!



For some reason my link is not working so her website is melissapalomo.com

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Laughing in the Rain

I felt like my posts since I have been back have been negative which doesn’t really reflect my life right now. Yes there are moments of frustration and anxiety, but I am happy!

I could list the numerous things going “wrong” right now from financial issues like finding out yesterday that Justin’s car needs new tires (checks wallet for $500 ::nope::) to medical problems like Taylor possibly needing a root canal because of her chipped tooth.

The funny thing is while I was driving to work this morning there was a small drizzle and I smiled at the rain. I love the rain. God’s gift to me is rain. It calms and refreshes me every time! It made me think of the saying “When it rains it pours” and I laughed at how chaotic and seemingly unmanageable my life is right now. I mean metaphorically speaking there’s a near monsoon in the life of the Davis’. However, I adore the rain.

This doesn’t mean that I like to live in chaos nor would I like to have it rain every day. Rain is so special to me because it is “rare”; so to are the times when my life is out of control and stressful. I know it sound odd, but I started thinking I need to enjoy these times in my life. I need to relax in the chaos and just let God work. In these times, when it pours, God is in complete control and shows his grace and beauty. God works in the rain and we leave these times refreshed.

I love the rain!

Monday, October 18, 2010

Lack of Appreciation

I am not one that needs a pat on the back, but sometimes just getting the acknowledgement is good.

Two weekends ago was a 3 day weekend. Great for my personal life; not so great for work on Tuesday.

There was a small oversight by leadership at work that meant nobody was monitoring our messaging system. I caught that in the early morning and offered to help.

When a standard day has around 20 messages, 30 on a weekend you expect to have a few piled up, but there were 84. 84 messages. And who do you thing managed to get them all taken care of AND answer the phone during the day?

On Monday’s we have a meeting where you get “pats” for doing good things (you save them up to trade for like movie tickets and stuff). Not only did I not get a “pat” for working my butt off that day (which I could really care less about because I can’t go to the movie with 3 kids anyway) I didn’t get a thank you or acknowledgement at all. ::sigh:: the most I got was the day of when I said I finished I got a “wow”. That means they realized how practically impossible that was to do, but that’s it.

99% of the time I LOVE my job…some days I wonder if my effort is worth it.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

A No Raisin Day

About a week ago I started off my morning with a bowl of Raisin Bran. I poured my bowl and noticed as the crispy bran flakes came tumbling out not a single raisin came with them. At first I thought I had a defect box, but when I looked inside a plethora of raisins sat taunting me. It was a sign… it was going to be a bad day… and it was.

Although, there was no raisin pouring incident this morning it is definitely a no raisin day.

-I forgot to lock my desk last night which means I violated a policy (never a good thing)
-My account was overdrawn which means I get to pay a $20 NSF fee I can’t afford
-Since my account was overdrawn I now have a pending item on my account which means “leadership” will see my account was overdrawn which makes it even more embarrassing
-I had a phone call from somebody that didn’t make any sense and I think it should have so it feels like I dropped the ball somewhere along the line
-I got a letter in the mail from another person “thanking” me for doing something I cannot do, but now they expect me to do it
-I have a tummy ache
-And its only 8:00 AM

Today is a no Raisin Day

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Boredom...

Having 3 kids makes it very difficult to be bored. I mean there is always something going on until that time...

8PM 2/3 of my kids are asleep and Taylor likes to watch a movie of some sort (one that I have seen 100 times). So I sit her bored, so very bored.

I'm a self confessed nerd. I play WoW (World of Warcraft for the non-gamers). With a tight budget me and Justin have chosen to take a little time off so my evenings are empty.

If I read I fall asleep, I don't want to watch tv, and there aren't any computer games that I find very interesting right now. I really want to play WoW right now, but instead I sit staring at my facebook page and listen/talk to my WoW friends.

There is not much in life I dislike more then being bored.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Truthfully A Horrible Blogger

I’ve spent the last week catching up on reading the fabulous blogs of my fellow blogging mommies and realize how horrible I’ve been keeping up.

I haven’t posted anything since I left on maternity leave! Since most of you reading this also have facebook you know that I had my beautiful baby boy Elijah Corbin Davis on June 5th (Grandma Barbara’s Birthday!)

He looks just like Justin, it’s amazing and the girls have instantly grown to loving him… and hitting him and sitting on him and trying to pick him up by his head of course.

Taylor is helpful most of the time. She helps feed him on occasion and love to talk and smile at him. She gets very upset when he cries despite her efforts to comfort him which typically results in a crying baby and over expressive crying of a 3 year old.

Jordan is obnoxiously helpful. She will always bring him his blanket, bottle, pacifier etc… even when he doesn’t want it. He’s content and sleeping/cooing when she notices his pacifier in the other room and runs it to him like his life is dependent on the blue rubber contraption. She shoves it in his mouth because that’s where it belongs. This typically results in a screaming baby and Jordan running to us saying “oh no, oh no, baby crying” But its still cute.

The best part is the feeling of looking at my family and knowing (Lord willing) this is it. This is and always will be my complete family. Life can only get better from here as I watch them grow and mature. I’m so excited to see what God has in store for them and for us as we teach them the rights and wrongs, the good and bad, the truth and the light! I love it!

I will be trying to blog so much more. I really will. My goal is to write a blog during my breaks at work. This doesn’t mean I’ll pop one out a day, but however many breaks it takes to get it done 

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Are We There Yet?

I’m not talking about a long trip (or even a short trip that seems long because the girls are crying/fighting)… I’m talking about babies!

I have 1.5 days of work left until my maternity leave officially begins and I am both excited and anxious for what that means.

The initial thoughts of “relaxing” and “sleeping in” which sound so appealing are just wishful thinking for me. With a 3 year old and 1 ½ year old running around (not to mention some intense potty training efforts to come) I don’t see myself relaxing much. I guess I could consider myself sleeping in because instead of being up at 6:30 AM I get to sleep until 7:30 AM before Jordan comes to the side of my bed with a finger in my eye or her stuffed pushed to my face.

I don’t get the luxury of lying back with my feet up and watching TV or reading. However, the more I think about how much I really have to do while I’m on maternity leave I do feel a sense of relief.

There is such anxiety about waking up every morning and being alone, with nothing to do except anticipate when you’ll go into labor. Every small cramp or odd feeling sends a rush of “is this it?” I don’t think I’ll have much time to worry about that! For this I am thankful, but also nervous as to what that means for my poor tired body. Will I have the time I need to rest and relax before I have 3 of them? Here are some things I need to get done in the following 2-3 weeks (this is with the assumption little Eli will come early like the first 2)

Potty Train Taylor Fully (no more diapers!)
Deep cleaning/disinfecting of all toys and surfaces I can find
Buy all the things left I need (bassinet, diapers, tons of batteries etc)
Prepare/freeze meals (I heard this is a good idea, but I look forward to this the least)
Buy large Tupper wear to store the aforementioned meals (I’ve always wanted to use that word…I hope I used it correctly)
Due to nesting… probably re-clean everything 5 times
Help my sister in her delivery (My niece is due in 12 days!) AND after baby assistance
Get Jordan to sleep through the night in her bed without an hour long power struggle
Help Justin finish his last 3 classes for graduation at the end of May (WOOOO)
Keep my sanity

Although looking at that list does make me feel rather anxious, it’s good to know that in a few weeks I’ll be holding my little boy!

Monday, April 26, 2010

What A Nice Person

Last week Justin took Taylor with him to worship practice – one of her favorite things to do. On their way out Taylor was saying goodbye to everyone so Justin told her “Taylor, you’re a nice person”. There was some very humorous conversation after that, but since I was not there I do not know if this is completely accurate:

Justin: Taylor, you're a nice person
Taylor: I is a nice person
Justin: That doesn't make sense
Taylor: I is make sense

Needless to say, Taylor now refers to herself as a nice person. If you ask her what kind of person she is she will tell you “I’m a nice person”.
A couple of nights ago Justin was helping at a Youth All Nighter with Sam so it was just us girls. She was being her usual pushy/bossy self with poor Jordan and I asked her “Why are you being mean to Jordan Taylor? It’s not nice.” To which Ms. Sarcastic (although she doesn’t realize it yet) stated, “I’m not a mean person, Daddy tell me, I’m a nice person”.

If only I could tell Jordan, “Don’t worry, the minor abuse from your sister doesn’t matter, because Daddy says she’s nice”

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Into the Abyss

Taylor went through a phase where she threw EVERYthing away. By everything I do mean everything... we lost (and recovered) remotes, phones, toys, etc. We lost and did NOT recover 2 Wii motes.


Jordan has now entered into that phase. She is pretty good about just throwing out actual trash, but occasionally we'll see a toy in there.


About 3 days ago I decided I needed to get some good belly pictures and realized our camera was missing. I can't tell you for sure that the camera ended up in the trash, but I sure can't find it.


Needless to say, after searching for about 3 days I gave up. I mean we needed a nice upgrade anyway, it just came sooner then expected. Good thing my birthday just passed so I had some cash from presents :)


Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Kisses and BooBoos

Jordan has come into the time in her life where a kiss makes all of her booboos go away. I wish this carried on for more then the year or so it does, but I'll take it while it lasts.

What I LOVE about this phase for Jordan is that she asks for kisses by giving kisses.

Say Jordan gets her finger squished by Taylor running around (a common occurrence in our home). Jordan will approach you while "kissing" the air and hold her hand out for you to kiss. It makes me smile every time.

I wanted to get it on camera, but not sure how to "force" that moment without her being hurt and for some reason stepping on her hand just for picture doesn't seem quite right :)

For now, I'll just enjoy that the little kisses make everything better... until she realizes it still hurts after!

Monday, April 19, 2010

Things That Go Bump, Scream and Cry in the Night


I think I’ve mentioned before how Jordan doesn’t sleep well despite a good routine and a billion other “tricks” we’ve tried. She’s been doing ok lately. Getting up only 1-2 times a night and typically just falling right back to sleep after a drink or small pat on the back.

However, over the last couple of weeks things have gotten worse. I wonder if she has night terrors or maybe her bed is just so uncomfortable she wakes up screaming. She doesn’t just whimper and cry a little when she wakes up, its usually this loud and sometimes scary scream followed by crying and more screaming.

Last night was horrible! She woke up about midnight in this same way. She was rolling around in her bed (looked like in pain) and she could not be comforted. She didn’t want to be held, or rocked, or given a drink, or even have her back rubbed. Her eyes weren’t really open either which led me to believe she could be sleeping still and maybe just having a nightmare. She’s not usually this bad, but it was so hard to watch and hear. Justin took her from me after trying for about 10 minutes and tried to rock her. She didn’t seem to have a fever, but because she looked like she may be in pain I gave her some Tylenol just in case.

After another 10 minutes or so of Justin rocking her (he thought she had fallen back to sleep) she sat straight up and said “down”. Just set her down and I could her little feet hitting the ground as she walked to her bedroom and climbed in bed. So odd… but she went to sleep after a few whimpers.

I’m just out of ideas. I don’t know what to do to help her sleep or even what it is that causes her to get up still. She’s 18 months (almost) and although we put her in bed much earlier, she sleeps from 9:30-7 and if we’re lucky takes one nap during the day between 30min – 1 hour which is not enough sleep for her age.

I just feel so bad for her!

Friday, April 16, 2010

Just a Mom and Wife

Do you ever feel like you’ve blended in to the “background” and the things you do and give become standard so you become just a Mom and Wife?

We’ve settled into this routine (routing is VERY good!) and the more things become routine the less I feel noticed. I’m not saying I expect some kind of recognition for everything that I do, I mean really it IS my job to take care of my family and I enjoy it.

Now it is very important to point out to all you children, husbands, and fathers that this “joy” that comes from taking care of your family does not mean you necessarily enjoy the tasks… I hate laundry, I despise dishes, vacuuming is annoying, cooking is tiresome, grocery shopping (although followed by the word shopping) does not make it fun.

I do not like doing these things at all, but I do them. I work a full day and come home to do these things because I like to know that my family is taken care of. There is something satisfying about knowing the meal my family is eating was made by me or that my house is clean and is a ‘home’ because it is cared for. This is not to be mistaken with a joy in the actual chore, but the result of the chore.

All this being said, our routine is going well. Things are running smoothly, but I feel lost in the hustle. I feel like I’ve just become Mom and Wife with these expectations to do all these things like it’s my “job”. The only reason I’m around is do these things for my family. Over this last week I’ve felt less and less like me and more and more like I’m just following the motions. The things are getting done so there are no complaints, but there is also no acknowledgement.

I try to let some of the ‘chores’ go so I have more free time to just play and goof around, but most of the time this means things don’t get done in a way or in a time that I feel is acceptable (I know I need to let that part go) so then it stresses me out. It is stressful to me to see a pile of dishes on the counter, or to not be able to relax on the couch because there is load of laundry that needs to be folded. So if I try to let go of some of these ‘chores’ that are having me feel so trapped right now, I can’t really relax or enjoy my free time because I know these things aren’t done.

Like I said earlier, I’m not looking for recognition for every little thing I do, I just want to know that these things, that I am appreciated and that my family is thankful for these things every once in awhile. Not a forced Mother’s Day card or something, but a random, unexpected, just because we love you something. A picture painted by the girls with my husband, a flower, a dinner made before I get home. Little things like this occasionally just help me feel like more then just the title of “Mom” and “Wife”.

I think it may have just been an overemotional pregnancy kind of week though. I could be over all of this by Monday :)

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Birth Stories

As I think more and more about the new baby coming I wonder if this experience will be different then the last. If you are interested... here are the stories of the girl’s births:

Warning: May have too much detail for some people!

Taylor:

On January 11, 2007 I woke up at about 9 AM and like most mornings really had to use the bathroom! The odd thing about this morning was that I seemed to had lost some control and peed on myself a little on the way. It was a weird feeling though, like it just flowed out instead of being pushed out. Within that hour I had take several trips the bathroom all with the same outcome. I noticed one of the times that the “urine” seemed to be an odd color as well. That’s when I thought maybe my water had broken, but I wasn’t having any contractions at all, so I couldn’t be in labor yet. I called the doctor’s office and told them what I had been experiencing and the nurse said it sounded like my water had broken and I should go to the hospital even if I wasn’t have contractions yet.

Since I was not having contractions I took my time getting my things together, notifying my friends/family, and even taking a shower and shaving (or trying to) before heading to the hospital.

I arrived somewhere around 1 pm. Since I seemed to be in no pain and not having contractions yet the hospital seemed to take their time as well getting me settled in. I had to be “tested” first to make sure that I could stay at the hospital. The nurse hooked me up to a machine to check for contractions and did my exam.

She told me my water had broken and there was meconiumin the fluid (the baby pooped in there) which can cause problems at birth if she breaths any in. She also asked how I would rate the contractions I was having. I told her that I wasn’t having any yet and she laughed and said yes you are. She showed me on the machine the little spikes and I told her the most I was feeling was what I thought was just random side cramps (like you feel after running a mile and not stretching). She also told me I was 4 centimeters and 100% effaced which meant it was “active” labor. I was a little shocked, but glad to know that it seemed to be moving fast.

By 3 pm we were in the delivery room (we being me, Justin, my Dad, my Mom, and my best friend Sarah). I had an IV with antibiotics because of some bacteria thing I had tested positive for about a week prior. Within an hour I started to really feel the contractions! I remember thinking that I rather enjoyed the time when I was in labor and didn’t know it over that! Because I seemed to be progressing so quickly I wanted to try to avoid any pain meds if possible (which worked!)

Around 6:30 pm I was ready to push. I didn’t do very good at this part though. I did a lot of pushing and didn’t make much progress. I pushed until past 8 pm before I figured it out. Taylor Rowyn Davis was born on January 11th, 2007 around 8:30 pm (it’s sad, but I don’t remember the exact time). She was 6 pounds 6 ounces and healthy as can be! I had been very anemic and had 2 units of blood the following day so we stayed at the hospital for two days before taking her home.


Jordan:

I woke up in the morning of October 27th, 2008 to a large gush in my bed. This time I knew it was my water because it came out quickly as opposed to how it was with Taylor. I woke Justin up and told him my water had broken. I did not “feel” the contractions yet, but I knew they were there. We headed to the hospital with my dad and sister this time leaving Taylor with my Mom and arrived around 10 am. After that I’m not really sure about any of the times haha! But I can tell you the process.

I had to get “examined” again to make sure I was in labor and that my water had broken. My water did break and again there was meconiumin in the fluid. I was 3 centimeters and 80% effaced. They usually don’t admit you until 4 centimeters, but because of the water breaking and the fact that I needed antibiotics again they gave me a room. This time the labor seemed much slower and a lot more painful! Around 6 centimeters I was so tired (poor night of sleep and not eating anything) that they did give me something in my IV to relax me. It definitely did not take away the pain, but made me sleepy between so I could at least rest (not sleep because the contractions were hard and fast!)

Memorable moment for this one… Sam brining Justin a cheeseburger for lunch and Justin eating it in the room while I starved ::sigh::.

Around either 6 or 8 (I can’t remember which, I just know it was in the evening and it was an even number) I felt the urge to push. I had been check a little earlier and only been at 8 centimeters so the nurse didn’t think it was time, but upon request check me to find it was time! One problem, there were NO doctors available.

She told me there were 4 other women delivering (actually pushing) at that moment and they had no doctors available. She told me to wait. If you have ever had a baby you know you CANT wait. It’s like asking somebody to just stop breathing. Your body just does it! The pain of having contractions AND controlling the urge to push was the worst experience ever. Finally a doctor came in. I pushed for about 15 minutes and out came Jordan Ilana Davis. 6 pounds 5 ounces. My anemia was of course making its appearance, but they monitored me this time and did no give me a transfusion. (Praise Jesus!) We went home just a couple of days later.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Feel The Burn-sation - Written 7/17/09

Another transferred from an old blog...

I love jalapeños, tapatio, salsa... yummy yummy spicy goodness. I'm not sure I understand why.There is something amazing about a chip smothered in some hot salsa or hint-o- peno, but I find myself only reaching for the bag of chips if I have a LARGE drink close at hand. I mean, I can't get through maybe 3-4 chips without a sip of something cold and soothing. So why do I continue to eat?!Am I secretly masochist? I'm a pretty good secret keeper if that's the case, Go ME! Wait... I just told you my secret; I guess that makes me a not so good secret keeper... Epic Fail.Moving on. Another favorite snack of mine is cheeto puffs smothered in tapatio! But before I sit down to enjoy my bowl I make sure to have something nearby to sooth the burning. Last night happened to be these amazing peanut butter stuffed pretzels dipped in chocolate. Odd combination, I know, but it helped! As I felt the burning growing exponentially with every bite of tapatio goodness I'd pop one of the pretzels in my mouth for quick relief... then right back at it.So WHY?! Why do we do these things? I find it hard to believe that ANYone can eat these very spicy things and not feel the uncomfortable burn-sation! Some people are much more tolerable of it, but are the it burning that makes it so good, or is it the flavor before the burn? I couldn't honesty say I'd just eat a jalapeno for the flavor of jalapeño. I mean Jalapeño flavored Jelly Bellies are ::gag::So I sit and enjoy the last few chips in my bag of Miss Vickie’s Jalapeño Chips and my LARGE Dr. Pepper (clear the pallet - dedicated to Sam) and ponder, is it worth it? Because now I have the sensation to pee.

Nothing Of My Own - Written 7/14/09

This (along with one other post) are oldies from my old blog I felt the need to bring over...

I may have forgotten what it was like to enjoy a cookie or ice-cream of my own.I don't remember the feeling of a car with no cheerios stuck between the cushions.I vaguely remember a time when I could sprawl out on my bed and not worry about being pushed or moved. It has become a common occurrence to roll over around 4 AM to get a big whiff of a urine drenched diaper in my face. My daughter has become a pro at sneaking in our bed in the middle of the night undetected (Thanks a lot Tempurpedic and the no bounce!!!). She curls up in the corner on my side of the bed by my pillow, monkey in hand, thumb in mouth, and sleeps. If it's not the smell of popcorn (Pee smells surprisingly like popcorn after sitting in a diaper for awhile) its a foot in the face from my flailing daughter. She's worse then her dad; when it comes to sleeping still she fails epically. She steels my blanket and knocks it on the floor, she dominates my pillow, and if she so chooses she will slowly push me off the bed. I know, I'm bigger then her, but there is something about looking at 4 AM on the clock that makes me not want to get out of bed to put her back in hers. I think... if I get up now I'll just fall asleep right before I have to get up again. So I take it like a champ and push her to her Dad's side of the bed and enjoy my last two hours of shut eye.

There's A Party In My Tummy


Although the Yo Gabba Gabba song is stuck in my head, it’s not that kind of party.

Note: for those of you lucky enough NOT to know that song and/or NOT to know who Yo Gabba Gabba is… do NOT YouTube, Google, Etc… you will regret that choice.

Up until a few days ago little Eli was pretty relaxed in there. He moved a little at night, but nothing too horrible. All of a sudden he has become a super rambunctious, kicking, twirling, little thing. (by the way I spelled that rambucious (forgot the n) and the spell check suggested ambitious and NOT the correct spelling?)

This is not so bothersome during the day. Sometimes slightly uncomfortable and unpredictable which causes some awkward moments (I work in call center). For example, being on the phone with a member and having the wind knocked out of you is odd.

Then night falls… I know most babies wake up during this time because the lack of movement (the walking and moving “rocks” them to sleep). But he just goes and goes for several hours. A jab here, a roll there. This is right when I’m trying to fall asleep. I’ve been lucky so far and not had to run to the bathroom several times a night so once I’m asleep I’m usually out until morning, but the bathroom trips have been replaced by being kicked awake. And unlike bathroom runs, I cannot just fall back asleep because he just goes and goes.

This in combination with usually one if not both of the girls getting up at some point during the night for something (a drink, a wet diaper, etc) means my sleep is interrupted often. So although I am going to bed early, I feel like I’m getting less sleep then ever!

I do have to say; my husband is amazing with the girls though :) After some poking and re-waking him about 5 times until he realizes I’m trying to wake him, he ALWAYS takes care of the girls! This included a 2am diaper change for Jordan and drink refill for Taylor last night! He helps a ton with all those middle of the night things which I am really grateful for!

All of this to say I’m sort of tired and my belly hasn’t stopped moving since breakfast.

Friday, April 9, 2010

Her Broken Heart

Kids say things they hear from somewhere. It’s just sometimes I wonder where that somewhere is…

It’s not like my girls are exposed to TONS of people. They are at home, at church, and occasionally at MiMa’s (Great Grandma).

Here is one of those things that make me wonder where in the world…

Taylor: Oh No!
Me: What’s wrong?
Taylor: I ruined it
Me: What did you ruin?
Taylor: I ruined my bed
Me: (thinking she peed all over her bed or something go into the room to see her pointing at her bed rail) I don’t see anything.
Taylor: Here ::points to small dent:: I ruined it
Me: No you didn’t it’s just a mark in the wood
Taylor: No it’s ruined… my heart is broken
Me: Your heart is broken?
Taylor: Yes, my heart is broken, it (her bed) doesn’t love me anymore
Me: Taylor, your bed is fine and your heart is not broken
Taylor: My bed is ruined and my heart is broken. I’m sad, I’m crying.

What the?!

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Whose Job Is It Anyway?

As parents (plural!) I know it is both of our jobs to raise our kids to be Godly, respectful, and obedient. But whose job is it really to ensure they are good Women/Men of God?

With two little girls I feel obligated to teach them to respect themselves and be Godly women. I feel that as the “female” role model I need to take on more responsibility in this area. However, it is also important for them to see and experience how a Godly man treats a woman. To me this means when they get older Justin will take them out on “dates”. He will open their doors and all the other gentleman like things. He should never abuse them (physically or emotionally) or call them names. He should be the spiritual head in our house (pray with them etc).

So whose job is it? I know it is a combination of both, but the responsibility has to rely more heavily on one parent then the other, right?

I’ve been thinking about this more and more now that our little boy is on the way. I told Justin one night, “You know you have to teach him to be a gentleman!” He told me he was taught his chivalrous ways from his mom so it should be my job. I just think… doesn’t it mean more if it comes from the “man” of the house? Justin always opens my door and even puts the toilet seat down! I can tell my son all day that he should do these things, but I feel like it would mean more if the ‘man’ that is supposed to be doing these things is the one telling him to do it. Maybe I’m wrong. And I know it will be, as said before, a job for both of us. But who is primarily responsible?

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Good News!


As I was thinking of the title for this entry I remembered this old movie I used to watch at my grandma’s about a donut man…

They had this song called good news on one of them that is now stuck in my head haha!

Anyway, here’s the scoop:

- My hemoglobin specialist called and said although my count is still low, its higher then expected for me and his recommendation is I do nothing. I like that!
- Ultrasound on Monday – baby is about 4 pounds and has caught up to what he should be!
- A good friend is in town and I get to see him!
- The main thing that I’m writing about today is the kid’s room though...

After my family baby shower this weekend I was able to piece together what it was that I actually needed. Luckily, it’s very little! I was extremely blessed by family and friends for this little boy. I know most people don’t even have a baby shower after their first so I was really appreciative of everyone that helped me have a wonderful shower despite the fact that it’s our third baby.

I was excited to be able to pass all my girly pink things to my little sister who is due May 10th (just a couple weeks before me!) so I knew it would be used.

I’m just waiting on the last few things to show up in the mail (some mattresses and bedding) and I think I’ll have everything in order! The rest of the little things can wait until little Eli is actually here.

I’ve decided (as long as my doctor will let me) to try and work longer. Instead of the typical one month off before taking 2 weeks (or 3) off instead. This will give me more time after the baby is born to enjoy him AND the extra boost of cash right before leave can’t hurt either! We’ll see what the doctor says at my next appointment (April 23rd).

That’s the news on all things baby I can think of. I have an AMAZING profile shot of the baby… once I figure out how to take a picture of the picture without it being all blurry or have a huge glare I’ll post it for you. I’m biased, but he has the cutest little nose!

Thursday, April 1, 2010

My "Peace" of Food

We have a budget of $300/month for groceries that I pretty much use up every month. I try to shop all at once towards the middle of the month so I don’t have to go a lot. I actually really hate grocery shopping!

Last month (being March) I spent below budget and was super excited to throw some extra cash at my student loan. However, just a few days after my big grocery trip for the month Justin got the news on his blood work so about half of the food I bought wasn’t going to work for the new diet. Good thing my mom hadn’t gone shopping yet! I gave her most of the things I had, saved a few things for the nights when it would be just me and the girls eating, and planned another trip to the store.

One fun thing about this is that I had to buy a new cookbook with low carb/low fat recipes which is great! A lot of the ingredients need to be fresh though so I’ve had to throw out my idea of once a month shopping trips and go one week at a time. This is helping me buy ONLY what I need since I actually plan a meal a day (for 5 days of the week and figure leftovers the other 2 nights) instead of over buying like I had done in the past. I get to try new recipes and cook fresh food which for some odd reason makes me feel like more of a “mom”. Microwaving a premade frozen dinner and adding a salad on the side just doesn’t have the same effect as making a meal for your family!

I am discovering the joys of the crock pot, but also realizing a lot of the recipes taste quite similar ::shrug:: I may just be trying the wrong ones though.

All this to say that when I looked at my alert on mint.com (amazing resource by the way) and realized I had more then doubled my budget I had mini heart attack. That’s when it really hit me though, like it has a million times before GOD PROVIDES.

I am so blessed by the family and friends God has given to me (us). I laugh at myself sometimes for ever worrying about things like this, because honestly when has a bill gone unpaid, late, or food not be available? NEVER! I have this little ideal picture in my head of what my budge should look like but sometimes I have to just let it go and see all those red and orange lines (on mint.com) and realize God works and moves in the most noticeable ways when we are living our lives (for him of course) in red/orange.

For some crazy reason when all things are going well (in the green) we take for granted that its because of God’s hand in your life and not because of ourselves. We are so selfish, but God is so selfless.

Cliché, but honestly, What a Mighty God We Serve! I sure love my daddy! (the heavenly one in this context)

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

The Events of the Night

It all started with a phone call to Sam on Monday around 3 (per the request of Luann). He mentioned that my husband was helping him paint the youth room at 2 on Tuesday. Justin had mentioned something to me a few days prior, but nothing was confirmed… so I called Justin to find out what was going to happen.

Tuesday my grandmother took Taylor in the morning and my mom watched Jordan when Justin left for Sam’s around 2 PM.

I picked up Taylor at 4:15 and was home for Taylor around 4:30.

I called Justin around 6:00 to find his phone was dead, so I called Sam’s phone. Justin just wanted to make sure the girls were being good and just check to see if I needed him home. I told him he could stay as long as he needed (he doesn’t get to get out of the house very often).

I put Jordan to bed at 8:00 she was out of bed at 8:10, 8:30, 8:40, and then asleep by 9:00. I nearly was too. I put on the Sword and the Stone for Taylor and we started to watch it. At some point the movie finished and she pressed play again because I woke up at 10:44 and it was back to the first 15 minutes or so of the movie.

I turned it off and told Taylor she could sleep in my bed with me. She was very excited and said “I have to go potty first so I don’t pee in your bed!” I love that kid!

Jordan got out of bed around 2:15 AM. Justin was not home, but from past experiences he had probably just left Sam’s or was almost home. I put Jordan back in bed and fell back asleep.

5:02 AM Jordan is back at the side of my bed. I’m exhausted from waking up a few times, having an early day at work the day before AND Braxton Hicks. I put her back in bed and then realize what time it is. I have never woken up so fast in my life!

In my bed is Taylor and Me… no Justin. I call Sam’s phone 7 times between that time and around 5:30. I woke up both of my parents trying to figure out what to do. I wrote to Roxy (Sam’s Mom) on facebook to see if he had fallen asleep on their couch or something, but she didn’t answer. The stress/crying/freaking out was making me feel really nauseous so I jumped in the shower at 5:30 to try and relax myself. Shortly before leaving the shower I heard the bathroom door open! He was HOME!!! I’ve never been so angry and happy at the same time ever!

His version… He was painting with Sam until 3:30 AM. He went to his Dad’s to drop some stuff off and grabbed a soda to take with him. Since his Dad left the TV he was going to turn it off, but it was Princess Bride so he figured he’d sit for a “few minutes” while he drank his soda. When the movie ENDED he realized what time it was and headed home. Not once did he call because he thought waking me up was worse then giving me a heart attack. ::sigh::

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

My Secret Obsession - Now Not So Secret

I don’t know what it is, but I am assuming it’s the thought of knowing this is our LAST baby. I’m not talking about the excitement of never having to be pregnant again, or never having to endure childbirth again (both perks, but worth repeating). I’m talking about the excitement and joy of knowing my family is soon to be complete! I no longer will have to plan thinking “this is only temporary since there will be another baby/kid to add to the mix”.

For example, the kids room. I had no theme or color scheme really. Some bright bold colors for the girls, and they did have matching blankets (made by Grandma Shirley), but nothing “special”. I never went all out to get matching curtains and laundry baskets. I never even had matching furniture! I didn’t want to spend a ton of money on these things only to have another child added to the room and have things not match.

This being said I have a slight obsession with “making it right” this time. NOT because it’s our first and only boy which some think to be the cause, but because this is it! I can plan and decorate and know that it won’t change (Lord willing! ::says prayer::) It took me forever to find a cute matching set of bed linens (See Picture of bedding in "Just an Update" from Feb. 2010). My dad also built the girls a bed so I could get “matching” furniture without having to find a bunch of pieces that were different styles to fit in one room. I’m just so excited now to see it all together! My mom says I’m “nesting”, but I really don’t think that’s it. I don’t feel like I need to clean or get organized. I just want it to be done. Not that “nesting” feeling, but the sense of accomplishment. The idea of knowing their room will be complete and nice for ALL of them. Something to feel proud of.

I know it’s lame to get embarrassed by how the kids room looks, but I am! It embarrasses me to show people their room (not for the toys on the floor, which just comes from having kids) but the mismatched furniture and bedding. I feel like it screams “these are all cheap things or hand-me-downs”. It makes me feel like I can’t provide for my kids. I know its lame, but still how I feel.

I want it to be done so when people come to visit pre-Elijah’s birth they can see that we CAN provide and take care of them. This is also probably linked to the fact that we can’t afford to live on our own and live in garage turned apartment at my parent’s house. I feel like people look down on us for that. I think the kids room is my attempt to show we can do it! Even if we can’t afford our own place yet, we can still care for our children and provide for their needs.

Is that crazy? I know the feelings are all superficial, but I just don’t want to be judged anymore for our circumstance and I just hope this helps.

So I will continue to obsess and get excited for all the things on my registry I can’t wait to be gifted to me OR buy myself after the showers are over!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

One More Yawn... And Then It's Done?

I’m just getting tired. Tired of a lot of things. I am tired of…

…feeling like I’m about to pee my pants only to run to the bathroom to just “tinkle”
…of being sleeping
…of being hungry
…being poked by doctors (more so the people that draw my blood)
…being told I’m “anemic”
…being told I don’t weigh enough
…being told what I can/can’t eat
…not being able to hold both my girls without feeling uncomfortable (belly in the way)
…not fitting in regular clothes OR maternity clothes
…random cravings with no money to tend to them (fast food runs add up!)
…having a sore back/feet/belly
…being overemotional (Justin whispers “Amen”)
…wanting so much for the new baby and the girls without the means to provide
…my bangs falling in my face
…pee on the couch (not mine)
…kids whining
…working and wishing I was home
…being at home and wishing I was working
…waiting
…seeing the names on my baby shower guest list start to disappear (I just wanted to see everyone)
…feeling “naggy”
…laundry
…seeing how much more expensive “healthy” food is vs. the other stuff ($50/wk in groceries vs $125!)
…seeing Justin frustrated/stressed over school, kids, and not having a job
…ovary/bladder soccer
…actually needing things for this baby (almost everything for the girls was donated to me) but seeing my registry with no purchased items
…the anticipation of seeing that the baby is ok (or not)
…getting sad by the amount of "followers" I have (I know that's lame)
…wanting to say/do things and then forgetting

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Our First Ministry

Justin and I have been married for 4 years (in July) and we have both done our own separate service in ministries at church, but never served together.

Tonight is our first night! We will working with the High School group at our church! Well… we have to go “observe” for a month and then pass an application process, but after that we will be youth leaders!

This got me to thinking of all the wonderful leaders I had and all the special memories we made! I hope I can find a good balance between being approachable and fun, but not let them get away with things. I know I need to help guide them, but they won’t listen to my guidance unless they respect me. I’m nervous that I will not be able to find that “perfect” balance though. I just really hope I can!

I need to get some ideas from some of my old leaders haha :)

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

To Take The Pain

One of the worst things to deal with as a parent (in my opinion) is a sick/hurt young child. They don’t understand what’s going on and you can’t explain it to them.

Jordan has a horrible rash right now and it’s so hard to hold her down while you try to clean her up. She doesn’t understand why she’s in such pain and that we MUST get all the crap (literally) off of her in order to make it any better. When they look at you in desperation it breaks my heart. It’s the look of “Why are you doing this to me mommy?!” I HATE IT! And because she’s so young half the time I can’t even give hear anything for the pain or illness. I’m sorry you have a bad cold… they don’t make cough syrup or throat sprays for your age.

She shook with pain last night while we (this was a 2 person job) tried to clean her up. We even tried putting her in water so we didn’t have to “wipe”, but that seemed to hurt her just as much. Finally we got her clean and I drenched her little toosh in powder. I mean I didn’t dare try to rub ointment on her at this point. I just held her as she sobbed and tried to catch her breath and my heart broke. This is the worst part about being a mom. Even Taylor was crying because she was scared about the whole situation. Justin had to sit with her to try to calm her down. I just kept hearing Taylor say “Daddy/Mommy gave Jordan an owey (spell check)” She didn’t quite understand either and was just so upset to hear her baby sister scream in pain.

I’m glad that night is over. I just hope Justin has an easier day with them today.

Monday, March 15, 2010

What's for Dinner

I have the hardest time when it comes to dinner. This pregnancy has made me dislike anything made by my hand… well anything cooked. I can make myself a sandwich or a frozen burrito and be just fine.

So every night I come home and think what will I make for dinner? I take the whole time on the drive home thinking about what “sounds good”. Once I have it figured it I get home and start the meal.

As I start I think, “Wow! I’m hungry and this looks so good!”

About half way through I think, “Maybe I’ll just eat a little, and make a sandwich later”

When I’m done I plate up 2 kids plates and Justin’s and sit at the table with them. Justin asks why I’m not eating and usually by this time my answer is, “I’m just not hungry” or “I just don’t feel like eating that”. Both statements true on different occasions.

However, then I smell or see something my mom or sister are making and get hungry all over again! I can eat a LOT of whatever they made… I just can’t eat what I make! What’s wrong with me?

This got me thinking of all the random things that this last pregnancy has put me through that I’ll never have to deal with again. So in order to not forget them I figured I’d list them : )

-I can’t stand my face being touched at all. This includes late night kisses. I can handle the small quick pecks, but anything more just freaks me out.
-The smell of a dirty diaper makes me gag. I can’t do it at all! Poor Justin.
-Gagging while brushing my teeth, won’t miss that at all
-Every time I get out of the shower I gag… I have NO idea why!
-I really want sugary things, but then I get them I take a bite and wish I hadn’t eaten it at all. Pretty much all sweet sugary candy or baked goods does not appeal to me once in my mouth
-Garlic anything is always good…mmmmm, but probably not garlic ice-cream
-I get cravings for Crunch Rolls a lot, maybe its just the wasabi that makes me drool though
-I stutter, weird!
-I forget things I said or did or heard like 2 minutes ago.

I think that’s everything. Or at least I think that’s all.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Top 10 Reasons Not to Sleep

These are all actually excuses, lines, or just stories Taylor has used to get out of bed…

#1 I need a Drink (or a different one then what she has)
#2 I need to go potty (for the 5th time in 30 minutes)
#3 The Music is scratchy (The CD skipped)
#4 Jordan is sleeping upside-down
#5 I can’t find ______ (fill in the blank with something useless)
#6 I have pee pee in my diaper (AFTER her 5 “trips” to the potty that mad her get out bed earlier)
#7 ::open door:: mumble mumble mumble ::close door:: (we don’t know what she said, but it sounded important before she closed the door and went back to bed)
#8 I’m sick, I need medicine ::insert fake cough::
#9 Jordan is crying (we ask why is she crying) because I was in her bed and waked her up
#10 I need a kiss (by far my favorite)

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

The Highs and the Lows

The Highs and the Lows

Blood Sugar 142… supposed to be 138 or less… means I’m “diabetic”
Hemoglobin 8.9… supposed to be 12… means I’m “anemic”

This is what news the doctor gave me yesterday over the phone. Hi, you failed your 1 hour Glucose test and your anemic (for those of you that know me… DUH!). AND apparently my doctor has no idea how to deal/treat thalassemia so now I have to see a specialist for no reason. What this all means:

1. I have to retake the glucose test. This time for 3 hours, getting blood drawn 4 times. If I fail there are a number of possible complications such as (not limited to)
a. A FAT baby… that’s gonna hurt
b. A C-Section
c. High chances the baby will develop diabetes in his lifetime
d. A weird diet (which I’m already on for the anemia/thalassemia)
e. Possible finger pricks several times a day and insulin shots
2. I have to see a hemoglobin specialists for my anemia/thalassemia. This means more time off work and a possible blood transfusion to “fix” the problem that is unfixable. THIS means more time off work for blood tests and what not. ::sigh::

I am un-excited. Please pray that all my next tests are in the clear, but more importantly that the baby is safe and healthy :( I’m scared something will be wrong with him since I’ve had so many complications during this pregnancy.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Doctor Who? (Inspired by Rachel K)

I recently read a friends post about her frustration finding a good OB. It reminded me of my rollercoaster of doctors over the past three years and I felt the need to share.

Doctor #1 - When I first found out I was pregnant with Taylor I had my primary doctor, the one I’d had for 20 years (give or take)! He didn’t do OB anymore and referred me to another doctor in his office.

Doctor #2 – This guy seemed ok, he was nice and what I thought was thorough. I had my first trimester blood work done and he sat me down one visit to explain to me I had a blood type that could harm the baby. He went on to explain what “could” happen. Pretty much that my body would think the baby is a virus and attack it. GREAT!! I was devastated! After a few more visits with him I began to dislike him. He didn’t seem to really know what he was talking about. So I asked for another referral.

Doctor #3 – This time a Russian lady I could barely understand in the same office. She was short and abrupt. Not very “personable”, but at this point I just didn’t care. I asked her more about my blood problem and she looked at me confused and said my blood type was fine. What a frustrating relief that was! She delivered my first baby AND even yelled at the nurse in the delivery room for not “prepping” me as she had asked which resulted in an undesired/unnecessary episiotomy. So although not very “sociable” she was good. She also did my OB for Jordan, but was on vacation when I delivered. That’s a whole other story in itself (involving 4 women all “pushing” at the same time and be being told to ‘hold it’ until they could find a doctor).

Doctor #4 – The joys of Blue Cross HMO. They stopped paying their bills so my doctor/hospital ended their contract. I couldn’t see my doctor of 20 years OR my OB. I just picked a name off the list of doctors and went. (not for OB yet). He was horrible. The office was dirty and I just felt uncomfortable the entire time!

Doctor #5 – Picked yet another name off the list. I walked into the office and saw pictures with bible versus on them and the office was even called Grace Medical Group. I LOVE this doctor! She is an amazing, sweet, Christian lady. However, although she does OB, my insurance will only let her be my primary care physician, so she had to refer me… again.

Doctor #6 – She is SO fake! Here is how one of first conversations went…

Doctor – So tell me how the pregnancy is going
Me – Well it’s been a little rough…
Doctor – Good! Everything will be great
Me – umm….
Doctor – Do you have any concerns?
Me – Actually, can you tell me about…
Doctor – Good! Everything sounds fine, do you want to see the baby today?
Me – ok
Doctor – The baby is so cute ::THEN she turns on the ultrasound machine::
Me – ok
Doctor – you have adorable children (note she has not seen a single picture of my kids)
Me – ok
Doctor – See you in a month!

I hate her, but I’ve had worse so I’m just dealing with it. It’s my last kid so I don’t have too many questions and after Jordan’s delivery I don’t really care WHO catches the baby as long as somebody is actually there.

Monday, March 8, 2010

How to Un-Break a CD

It amazes me how kids “know” you can fix anything. Nothing is really broke in their world, just temporarily out of service.

Taylor wanted to play a computer game my dad brought home for her, but it was so scratched the computer couldn’t read it. I told her it was too scratched so she could pick another game… here is her reply:

Taylor - It’s ok mommy, you can fix it if you want
Me – No, I can’t fix this one its too scratchy
Taylor – You can wipe it on your shirt

Problem solved I guess… We just played another game :)

Monday, March 1, 2010

Bribery – It works!


I need to start off by saying I taught a classroom of 20-24 2-year-olds and did a LOT of potty training… but nothing compares to trying to get your own kid to do it! Here is the bath we took…

Potty Training Solution #1 (Age 2y) – We started taking Taylor to the bathroom just several times a day to get her adjusted to sitting there. 90% of the time she cried and yelled. Since we didn’t want to make it a negative experience we gave up for awhile and figured we could start up again soon.

Potty Training Solution #2 (Age 2y 6m) – We started the routine again when we realized she was actually willing to sit on the “adult” toilet instead of the “potty”. However, this too only lasted a couple of weeks before the screaming and crying started.

Potty Training Solution #3 (Age 2y 8m) – Started with candies every time she TRIED (jelly beans, M&M’s etc). She’d sit for a minute and get up. We’d put her diaper on her and she’d tell us 2 minutes later she peed ::sigh::

Potty Training Solution #4 (Age 2y 10m) – The “just pee on yourself” technique. We’d let her run around in just a dress or something… that didn’t work. She had no shame. In fact, on one occasion she came up to us and said “I poopoo in the grass” ::even bigger sigh::

Potty Training Solution #5 (Age 3y) – The sticker chart approach/reward approach. By this time Taylor was not peeing IN the bath so we’d keep her in there extra long in the evening until she’d tell us she had to go. So she was going at least once a day. A row of 10 boxes: 5 boxes meant she got a “big” candy (or the fun sized bars as apposed to her usually single M&M) and 10 boxes meant she’d get to play a board game with us (new obsession with CandyLand). We also bought those SUPER padded undies for her… this increased her average successful potty going to about 2-3 times a day, but still accident 2-3 times a day.

Potty Training Solution #6 (Age 3y – 1m) – Pure Bribery! We bought her this little Sesame Street computer game and every time she goes potty she get’s to play for 10-15 minutes. It is a number/letter/shape/color game so I don’t feel that bad about letting her play so much, only a little. Since we brought it home she has gone potty 1-3 times every 2 hours AND only one “accident” last night, but we did put her in a diaper before bed so she didn’t really pee on anything… I think we found our trick with her!

Hopefully this will all be done before the baby is born in June!

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Chaos - The World of Children

On Wednesday’s Justin leaves right when I get home to head to worship practice. This means I go from a long work day straight to dinner making, dish doing, and girl bathing with no break. Not that big of deal, it’s only one night a week.

I had finished the above mentioned rotation of child caring duties and noticed the girl’s room was a MESS. Instead of getting upset like I usually do I just figured with the mass amount of homework my husband has I should just keep my frustration to myself and clean it up.

Now home for 2 hours with no break to breathe I decided to sit with the girls in color. If you know what it’s like to try to get a 16 month old and 3 year old to sit still, not tear paper, not eat crayons, and share… you know this too was a trying task. Why did I pick it? I think my brain turned off and I didn’t think it through. I pushed through my tiredness and just tried to enjoy the slightly whiney girl time.

Then, lo and behold, our door opens to my mom saying that our “cousins” are here! I don’t know what my cousin’s kids are actually to my daughters, but cousins works : )

The kids had a blast!! They had so much fun running around and pulling out all the toys they own to show to their little cousins. That’s right… all of their toys. The once clean room looked a lot like it did when I first came home and I didn’t have the time to make the girls clean it up since it was well passed Jordan’s bedtime by the time everything settled down.

Needless to say, when Justin asked me later on that night after he got home why I seemed moody all I could do was sigh.

But it was a pretty fun night : )

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

KidSongs


My girls are currently in love with this cheesy sing-a-long we have called Mommy & Me. As I sat watching with Jordan last night I remembered these sing-a-long movies I watched with my Aunt Betty growing up. SUPER 80’s, but fun songs/dances.

Of course being around 5-7 years old I have NO idea what those movies were called but I went to Amazon regardless just so I could find some other type of sing-a-long.

I found a TON, but how am I supposed to really know if they are any good? I was about to give up when I saw a familiar face! I FOUND IT!! It’s called KidSongs!! They were being sold for around $5 each, yay! I got a few, but I think I irritated Justin in the process. ::sigh::

At least my kids will like me!



Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Just an Update




I swear I’ve started to write something about 20 times and got too distracted to finish! Here’s an update…

I am 25 Weeks and 2 Days Pregnant :) That puts me in the end of my second trimester.

This pregnancy started out rough. Super nauseous, the tear/bleeding, slow baby growth, but everything seems to have leveled out now!

The tear is healed, no more bleeding, the baby is still a little smaller then he should be so they moved my due date to June 6th (from June 1st), but with my history… I’ll be delivering around June 1st or earlier anyway.

I feel a lot better! Trying to deal with a nasty cold without medicating myself like crazy, but I’m not AS tired, nauseous, or achy. A few of the typical things like sore back and feet and naps during the day to push me through.

Taylor seems to understand a lot more this time and even tells people where her baby brother is when we are out on occasion. Tay switches what the “babies name” is from Charlie to Jessica often. I’m trying to convince Justin to just decide on a name so we can start teaching her the real name. We’re leaning towards Elijah I think! I love “Eli” for a nickname. Jordan is clueless of course.

The kids will all be sharing a room so we are trying to figure out a way to get it all organized and make the furniture fit. My dad and Justin built a bunk bed for the girls. I love it! We also repainted so the new bedding will match (messy bed picture below…without the new bedding yet :) - New bedding pictures down there too!)

Overall, we’re really excited and I feel like this pregnancy is lasting 20x longer then the other too. I think it’s the excitement of knowing this is our last kid… our family is about to be complete!

I have a little anxiety about being forced (due to stupid insurance changes) the doctor that delivered both of my girls and going to a new hospital. I LOVE Pomona Valley Hospital and so far I am very unimpressed with San Antonio and I’m scared the experience won’t be as nice as what it was with the first two.

That’s about it. I swear I’ll try to have more updates!