Family Life (82) Surrogacy (66) Rachael (44) So Sayith... (23) Justin (17) Jordan (16) Taylor (14) Elijah (7) Nerdness (3) Adoption (2)

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Mommy in the Making

I know Jordan is only 2, but she is definitely the most motherly of the two girls.

She has always been affectionate and loves to kiss and hug on her stuffed toys and babies.

She loves to lay next them on the floor for “nap” and wake them up with a kiss.

This morning reminded me of her motherly instincts.

The kids are usually still asleep when I leave, but this morning Jordan was awake and “watching” me get ready. I use the word watching loosely since really she was “telling” me to get ready.

My alarm goes off – “Mommy your phone! Turn it off!”
I go to the bathroom – “Mommy don’t go to fast, you’ll fall!”
I brush my teeth – “Mommy say AHHH”
I get dressed – “Don’t go outside naked butt (this is what my children call partially clothed or completely nude haha)”
I put on my shoes – She puts on a pair of my shoes
I get my purse – She runs and gets my phone from my dress “don’t forget your phone!” (she was very concerned)
I go to the front door – “See you soon?”
I close the door – “DON’T FORGET TO LOCK IT!”

PS – I am really not good with this wordless Wednesday thing…

Friday, May 20, 2011

Jordan's Twin

There is a beautiful little girl right about Jordan’s age that looks exactly like her… well not exactly, but on multiple occasions I’ve even gotten them mixed up!

It all started at Eli’s “Welcome to the World” party in June of last year. Sydney and her awesome mommy came and it was sort of freaky seeing the girls together. They have the same color hair, same length (at the time) of hair, same height, same hair color, the same walk, and they even get into trouble in the same way!

I found myself at the party telling “Jordan” to not play in the dirt or try to climb in the pool only to realize it was Sydney. Please don’t take that to mean that Sydney is not a well behaved kid, because the real Jordan was getting into about 100 more things then Sydney was…and they are 2 so of COURSE they are into everything.

I have also mistaken them for eachother via facebook photos or videos that Chandra has posted of Sydney. I’ll look at the brown eyed brunette in the photo/video and think “I don’t remember taking the picture of Jordan” or “Why does my voice sound different in that video?” only to realize I am looking at Sydney and hearing Chandra’s voice.

Chandra (Sydney’s mom) also told me lately that she was watching Jordan’s Llama Llama video and Sydney was super excited and kept yelling “its me!”. Jordan will look at photos of Sydney and do the same thing! It really is rather insane.

For now here are the best pictures I could find to try and show the resemblances, but my intent is to get a picture of them together soon!

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

The Excellent Wife

This blog is due to many different women in my life: first Shanda has unintentionally guilted me into reading a book/devotional of some sort AND to do it with other women in my life for accountability and encouragement.

So thanks Shanda

Secondly, a coworker, who would probably rather remain anonymous, has been talking to another coworker of mine about a book she read called The Excellent Wife. She says it changed her marriage in an amazing way (her husband is not a believer). Unintentionally she has also inspired me to read this book. Well… not really read – I bought the audio version (and the workbook/study guide).

All of that to say… I would LOVE to take some inspiration from the amazing Shanda and read/listen to this along with some other Godly women in my life.

I figure we can start a Facebook Group of some sort to post ideas and conversation starters.

I hope to start it soon, but I’m willing to postpone my start day if I find people are actually interested and need time to get the book.

Let me know!

Monday, May 16, 2011

The Question of the Day

I need some opinions about a small dilemma I am faced with. Eli’s birthday is in June and I just don’t know if I should have a birthday party for him.

Here is why…

First of all Taylor had a 1st birthday and after the day was over I realized it was not really her birthday party, but more like have all mommy and daddy’s friends over party. Yes she got gifts, but she doesn’t remember it or even at the time she didn’t really care about anything going on.

With that experience I decided not to have a first birthday party for Jordan. She did however have a 2nd birthday party and Taylor did not (due to money issues at the time).

Now comes Elijah, would it be unfair for Jordan if I had a party for him? Will she look back years from now and feel the weight of being the “middle child?”

As I see it there are Pros and Cons

He needs boy toys, he has a few, but not many
He REALLY needs clothes/shoes
Its June…Excuse for a Pool Party at Grandpa Bob’s?!

Jordan feeling left out? (later in life)
Pool Party – I don’t think my kids have a safe fear of drowning
He needs clothes, but people don’t want to buy clothes they want to buy toys (I know I would!)

I know its not a BIG deal or anything, but seeing how its slow for me at work today I have had plenty of time to think and this is what has occupied my time.

Friday, May 13, 2011

The Wonder of the Straw

I know I’m not crazy when I say that if you have a straw in your drink the drink seems to disappear much faster.

As I sat here today finish my third 16 oz cup of water I wondered what about this hallow thin piece of plastic makes me drink so much more?

On a normal day I probably drink about 32 oz for the whole day (I know that’s below recommended…don’t you judge me! :) ) But the days I drink with a straw I easily drink 64+ oz. So what is it?

I have decided its because its fun. Drinking from a straw brings out my inner child. I can remember drinking from those crazy loopy-doopy super awesome straws, slurpee straws with a spoon, bending straws, and even using a piece of yummy red licorice bit off on both ends in my glass of root beer. Of course I’ve graduated from the fun (much cooler) straws to the boring straight and plastic straws, but it still reminds me of being a kid.

Ok well maybe it doesn’t consciously remind me of being a kid since I sat here for about 10 minutes looking at my cup trying to figure out why it is we drink more water with a straw, subconsciously (which has now become conscious) my inner kid gets excited when I see that straw.

So today, I dedicate this day, to Straws!

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

A Giant Heap of Whip Cream on my Sundae

First of all, I am totally going to write a song with the title of this blog. It sounds scrumptious.

I’m torn between two stories today, but I think I’ll go with the Good News and tomorrow give the funny Taylor story.

I will try to make this the last time that I mention this, since I feel like it may have taken over the blog lately and its far more interesting to hear about the kids and the crazy things they do then our family drama.

Today I’m going old school…like 5th grade and giving you a timeline of events

We moved into our new 3 bedroom apartment on April 16th that was more money then we could afford
May 23rd will be Justin’s last Unemployment check and let’s face it; he’s not going to get work for awhile that makes the apartment even less affordable
June (1st – ish) My first month paying FULL rent and 2 months worth of utilities, um YIKES?!
June 13 – I GOT A NEW POSITION!!! I start on this day AND it is (to the penny) exactly the amount I’ve been praying for so I can afford rent!

God is good! I have been blessed and I thank ALL of you for your prayers. Thank you! Thank you!

My new prayer is for strength and guidance. I am excited about how God has provided for us and his blessings have given me renewed strength for our next “trial”. I can honestly say that my prayer now is for what is to come for us and I am thankful for these answers to prayers, for this end to a long journey that has prepared me for our next one.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Her First Crush

Taylor is 4 and her first crush is not on her father… its on Harry Potter.

She one day announced to us that she was going to marry Harry Potter. And anytime she sees him (in print or on the tv) she tells us she loves him. She also slightly blushes and turns away from him all shy like.

Justin told me a story about this crush I felt the need to share, I wasn’t there so I apologize if some the facts are a little off.

The story starts with an add for the DVD release of the latest Harry Potter movie:

Taylor: I love him, I’m going to marry him
Jordan: No! I’m going to marry him
Taylor: I’m going to marry him! (this goes on for several minutes of course)
Taylor: I’m going to marry him because I’m in his dreams (said very confidently)

From what I remember of the conversation is it ended there. I think deep down Jordan was as baffled as us as to why Taylor believes Harry Potter dreams about her.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

My Full Surrender

I have an issue with control. I like to know what’s going to happen and when its going to happen. I think that’s pretty standard for a lot of people though.

This makes many aspects of my life rather difficult at times.

1. Justin can’t really surprise me (he’s done a good job on occasion), but I stress… where are the kids? How long will we be gone? How much is it going to cost? Do I have the right clothes?
2. I tend to be too opinionated when it comes to decisions Justin should make like where we go to church or how often we should pray together (the Spiritual Head of House type things)
3. I have this idea of how the kids should be handled and like to think the time I spent in my early childhood education classes means I know how to do that better then others… I know it’s a lie, but like I said, I like to feel like I have some kind of control and if you have kids you know how little control you actually have LOL (or maybe it’s just mine)
4. My “future”

Today numero cuatro is what I feel the need to dwell on. What does “my future” mean? What does it look like? Why do I spend so much time chasing something I really have no control over? WHY do I even want control over it?

As a Christian I get the chance to fully surrender everything to God, so why do I struggle to hold onto that control when I know He can do a much better job them me?

There is a current situation in my life (I can disclose this later) that I really have little control over. I know what I want the outcome to be. I find myself thinking about the “what if’s” and “if not’s” far too often. I know it’s in God’s control and what His will is will be done, so why can’t I let it go?

Yesterday, on the way home from work, it hit me in a flood of tears. Not sad tears, not happy tears, not stressful tears, but tears of shame (for lack of a better word). There is this thing that I want so much to happen, and I am praying constantly for God to make it happen, but why would he? I haven’t trusted him in my actions leading up to it. I’ve been praying for it yes, but I have not really surrendered to his will, and for that I felt shame.

As you have seen (read) over the last few weeks God has done AMAZING things for my family. I know God is alive and moving in my life in the areas that I have surrendered to him. He has proven Himself to me even when He shouldn’t have to. I took steps of faith yes, but I kept holding onto something to “steady” me as I went and not just letting God do his thing.

What I most recently found myself doing is making mental lists of if this thing does happen God means this … if this thing does not happen God means this…

It’s absurd! Why would I ever think that is a good idea? So yesterday, on my drive home, through my tears of shame I made the conscious effort to surrender ALL to Him. Am I still nervous about what’s to come, of course! It’s ok to be nervous, but I don’t need to “worry” anymore. God knows my heart and how desperately I want this thing to happen, but God knows more then my heart does too, and what I think would be perfect from my perspective could have potentially horrible results.

I should be able to tell you all more (for those that are interested) by Monday. Prayer is appreciated :)

Ok, reading what I just wrote sounded way confusing. I think this whole blog may be confusing, but it is one of those days that I just have to get this stuff off my chest.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Doing Polka

I really did mean to type Doing Polka. I just wanted to point out that wasn’t an error (thanks to Chris making me all self conscious).

I do Yoga. Do in this sense is defined as:

DO: consistently for 2-3weeks straight with breaks of 2months – 2 years in between

I really do enjoy it, but things just get in the way, and to be honest when it comes to me and exercise… well there isn’t really a ME and Exercise.

Last night was the first time I attempted Yoga with all 3 of my children awake. At first, of course, Taylor and Jordan sat near me and tried to bend into odd positions right along with me. Pretty quickly they gave up and instead starting using my body as a tunnel and shouting things like “You’re doing good Mom! Wow, keep going!”

They were definitely a distraction, but darn cute ones.

Well… I went into Downward Facing Dog and Taylor says “Mom, I see your booty! You bent too much and made a hole in your pants!”

I laughed really hard and realized the string that holds the seam together decided to unravel (probably in the washer). I am not blaming it on the fact that I bent over and ripped the seams because, lets me honest, how in the world could I manage to rip the seam of anything!

After the Yoga session was done Taylor said to me, “Mom, when you do Polka, you need to be careful so you don’t put holes in your pants”

Monday, May 2, 2011

What Happens the Back Seat?

Here is the conversation in the back of the car on the way home from Church on Sunday:

Jordan: Buh-Duh, Buh-Duh, Buh-Duh, Buh-Duh, Buh-Duh
Taylor: Jordan, stop saying Buh-Duh, Buh-Duh
Jordan: Buh-Duh, Buh-Duh, Buh-Duh, Buh-Duh, Buh-Duh
Taylor: MOM! Taylor says Buh-Duh 50 times and it makes my head hurt!
Jordan: Buh-Duh, Buh-Duh, Buh-Duh, Buh-Duh
Me: Ignore her
Taylor: Jordan stop saying that, just say Buh-Duh one time!
Jordan: (singing now) Buh-Duh one time, Buh-Duh one time, Buh-Duh one time
Taylor: AHHHHHHH (yes that’s a scream)

The real question is… Did Jordan intentionally start singing to make Taylor mad, or because she actually thought that’s what Taylor was asking her to do…