Normal Conversations 9th Edition

This one is all about Jordan:

The Home Folder
::Kids doing homework in the car on the way to worship practice. Eli rummaging through his backpack searching for his math sheet pulling out wads of paper::
Eli: I can't find it
Jordan: Is it in your homework folder?
Eli: No, I just shove it in here ::indicating his backpack::
Jordan: Why don't you put it in the homework folder?
Eli: I just put it in here
Jordan: But if it was in the homework folder you could find it
Eli: Here it is!
::Eli finishes homework and shoves it in backpack::
Jordan: Why don't you put it in your homework folder?
::Eli doesn't respond and throws his backpack on the floor. Jordan picks up his backpack and takes out his homework and puts it in the homework folder::

At least one of the kids got my over-organizational skills.

Reading
Jordan: I'm reading a book at school right now called Friendsle (no idea how to spell it). Daddy, can I borrow your Friendsle?
Justin: That's not a real thing
Jordan: You need to read more books

Tooth Fairy (Thief)
So we've never done the tooth fairy with my kids so they know it isn't a thing...
Me: (to another adult) So I realized, my dad saved all my baby teeth so I kept all my kids' baby teeth. I have no idea why. So when I was cleaning yesterday I realized there was no reason to keep them and threw them out.
Jordan: WHAT?! You threw away my teeth?
Me: I don't know, maybe. To be honest I'm not even sure if they were yours or not. I never labeled the bag.
::Now at home Jordan rushes out of my room with a wad in her pocket::
Me: What are you doing?
::Jordan whips out a wad of plastic bags::
Jordan: They're my teeth! You can't throw them away.
Me: You're weird.
Jordan: I'm never going to let them out of my sight!
Me: Are you getting in the shower now? Are you taking them with you?
Jordan: No, I'm going to...wait! You're going to go in there and throw them away aren't you? I'm going to hide them where you'll never find them!
::later after the shower she comes into my room and starts going through my drawers::
Jordan: Where are the rest of them?
::I find the container of teeth and hand them to her. She squeals with eery delight::
Jordan: YAY teeth!
Me: I don't even know if those are yours.
Jordan: They're MINE you can't have them!
Justin: ...serial killer...
Jordan: No, they aren't YOUR teeth