But 2 kids, that was 'normal'. When we announced our 3rd the comments / remarks / disapproval / concerns really began.
- 3 kids are too many
- 3 kids are too expensive
- They'll out number you
- You wont have time for all of them
- You don't have room for all of them
- Why would you want that many
- Good thing Justin is getting "fixed"
Really, I mean really-really, all of that didn't really bother me. 3 kids was overwhelming at times (especially in the beginning), but we made it work. As they've gotten older it has gotten easier - not EASY, but easier. We've gotten better at balancing our time with them so they each get their one-on-one time. We've gotten better at learning how to parent each one a little differently because they are NOT the same. Sometimes our tempers are short. Sometimes we have to seek forgiveness from them when we screw up. Sometimes we can't buy the new and fancy things because we have 5 mouths to feed.
And that is ok.
We have hit our groove. We are NOT perfect. We can be rather bad at parenting at times. But we're learning from our mistakes and learning how to love our kids better every day (I can feel Justin's judgement at the cliche of what I just said).
So, when we started toying with the idea of adding another child to our home it seemed like a good idea. The Davis' - a 4 child family? You say you have (or are going to have) 4 kids and all of a sudden you are a psychopath. WHY?
- You should buy a house first: Why? Does owning a home mean we will suddenly be better parents? Does going into debt again mean we're suddenly more financially stable?
- You need a bigger home first: Why? If we have 2 girls in their own room and Elijah in his own room - it is ok, but if Eli now has to share a room suddenly our house is too small? Between church and school, we don't spend that much time at home anyway.
- You need more money: Do we? We are debt free. Again, we don't always have new shiny things. We can't always go out to eat with friends. But every month we have enough to save for our future home, enough to set aside some family fun cash, enough to pay for each of the kids to do an 'extra curricular' activity, enough that we can save a little for each of the kid's futures.
SO instead of being super negative, can you pray for us? Instead of secretly gossiping about how crazy we are, can you talk to us? Our adoption journey has begun. We don't know what it will look like. We don't know if we'll ever actually be able to give Elijah a brother. BUT we could use your support :) Support in the form of conversations (if you have doubts lets talk through them). Support in the form of babysitting offers (not very many people will take 4 kids). But most importantly, support in the form of prayer. Prayer that God prepare our hearts AND our kids' hearts to welcome a new boy to our home. Prayer for our future son (just FYI we're trying for a 6-8 year old), that he can make the transition.