Ta Ta For Now

About 2 years ago I stood on stage singing "Called Me Higher" as my stud of a husband lead our congregation in Worship.

Then I sang these words...

But You have called me higher
You have called me deeper
And I'll go where You will lead me Lord
You have called me higher
You have called me deeper
And I'll go where You lead me Lord
Where You lead me
Where You lead me Lord

It was one of those moments where the Lord taps on your shoulder to get your attention. A "Did you mean what you just sang?" moment. A "Will you GO where I lead you? Will you leave the comforts of what you know for the unknown?"

For the next few weeks I processed what that meant. My head was like, of course I will! 

But my heart was not on board. I don't want to GO. I like where I am. I like my church. I like my job. I like living in Orange County. I like my friends/community.

BUT the words kept floating around in my head (and heart).  I couldn't shake them. After a few weeks I began talking to Justin about it too. I asked him to join me in prayer. What does it mean to "GO"? Does it mean a job change? A literal move to a new area? Changing churches?

So I continued to pray until my heart caught up to my head. Until I could confidently say, "I will GO where You lead me Lord".

Then a few months later like a billion of our friends did in fact "GO", to other cities, to other counties, even other states.  I breathed a sigh of relief, "OK God, I get it. You were just preparing me for the fact you are calling all of THEM to go, not me."

And that was that. I moved on (I mean don't get me wrong, a ton of friends moving was hard).

Fast Forward, now about 2 years from the original "GO" situation. Over the last few months there have been a few instances where things have been uncomfortable (to put it lightly). Things that have caused some hurt and some grieving. Things that have left a taste of distrust. BUT we pushed through and pushed on. We were content and comfortable (mostly) with where we were and there was no reason for any changes.

Looking back, I heard a faint whisper of "go...", but brushed it off. I told myself it was my own voice wanting to "run and hide" instead of work through difficult situations. I don't think I really took the time to actually consider if it was more than just "me" and my insecurities.

So, God had to stop "tapping" and had to straight up smack us in the back of our heads.

On Monday, Justin was told he would no longer be the Worship Pastor at our church effective immediately ::insert 10 billion ugly crying emojis::.

If you know Justin well you know his deep passion for worship through music. Watching him sing/play is one of the things I love most about him. When he is "leading" it is just him and the Lord. He doesn't "perform", he legit just worships and brings us all along in that moment. SO, being told he can't serve in that capacity at our church home cut deep. Paraphrased from Justin, "it is so hard to know you are called to a ministry and be told they think you aren't good enough to do it".

So, after a couple of days thinking and praying about it, we have decided that it is time for us to "GO". I just want everyone to know that this was not just a 2 day decision. This is nearly 2 years of God preparing us to "GO". This last couple of days was just the push we needed to make us leave our comfort zone and follow His leading.

This was not an easy choice, but we are confident it is the right choice. We LOVE our church family. You guys have no idea how much we do. So many of them are truly family. Shoreline is full of some of the most amazing, loving, wise, God honoring, God pursuing, friendly, and generous people we have ever met. BUT it is time to "GO".  

So, to our Shoreline family:

I won't say "we'll miss you", because that means we won't see you. You are family. I expect phone calls, dinners, beach trips, and impromptu knocks on each others doors. However, can you also be praying for us. Pray we are sensitive to the Lord's voice and calling. That we "GO" where He wants us to go. That our kids can transition well to the only church/family they have ever known and their faith in the Lord grow deeper and stronger through this journey into the unknow. And don't be afraid to check in with us.