Ta Ta For Now

About 2 years ago I stood on stage singing "Called Me Higher" as my stud of a husband lead our congregation in Worship.

Then I sang these words...

But You have called me higher
You have called me deeper
And I'll go where You will lead me Lord
You have called me higher
You have called me deeper
And I'll go where You lead me Lord
Where You lead me
Where You lead me Lord

It was one of those moments where the Lord taps on your shoulder to get your attention. A "Did you mean what you just sang?" moment. A "Will you GO where I lead you? Will you leave the comforts of what you know for the unknown?"

For the next few weeks I processed what that meant. My head was like, of course I will! 

But my heart was not on board. I don't want to GO. I like where I am. I like my church. I like my job. I like living in Orange County. I like my friends/community.

BUT the words kept floating around in my head (and heart).  I couldn't shake them. After a few weeks I began talking to Justin about it too. I asked him to join me in prayer. What does it mean to "GO"? Does it mean a job change? A literal move to a new area? Changing churches?

So I continued to pray until my heart caught up to my head. Until I could confidently say, "I will GO where You lead me Lord".

Then a few months later like a billion of our friends did in fact "GO", to other cities, to other counties, even other states.  I breathed a sigh of relief, "OK God, I get it. You were just preparing me for the fact you are calling all of THEM to go, not me."

And that was that. I moved on (I mean don't get me wrong, a ton of friends moving was hard).

Fast Forward, now about 2 years from the original "GO" situation. Over the last few months there have been a few instances where things have been uncomfortable (to put it lightly). Things that have caused some hurt and some grieving. Things that have left a taste of distrust. BUT we pushed through and pushed on. We were content and comfortable (mostly) with where we were and there was no reason for any changes.

Looking back, I heard a faint whisper of "go...", but brushed it off. I told myself it was my own voice wanting to "run and hide" instead of work through difficult situations. I don't think I really took the time to actually consider if it was more than just "me" and my insecurities.

So, God had to stop "tapping" and had to straight up smack us in the back of our heads.

On Monday, Justin was told he would no longer be the Worship Pastor at our church effective immediately ::insert 10 billion ugly crying emojis::.

If you know Justin well you know his deep passion for worship through music. Watching him sing/play is one of the things I love most about him. When he is "leading" it is just him and the Lord. He doesn't "perform", he legit just worships and brings us all along in that moment. SO, being told he can't serve in that capacity at our church home cut deep. Paraphrased from Justin, "it is so hard to know you are called to a ministry and be told they think you aren't good enough to do it".

So, after a couple of days thinking and praying about it, we have decided that it is time for us to "GO". I just want everyone to know that this was not just a 2 day decision. This is nearly 2 years of God preparing us to "GO". This last couple of days was just the push we needed to make us leave our comfort zone and follow His leading.

This was not an easy choice, but we are confident it is the right choice. We LOVE our church family. You guys have no idea how much we do. So many of them are truly family. Shoreline is full of some of the most amazing, loving, wise, God honoring, God pursuing, friendly, and generous people we have ever met. BUT it is time to "GO".  

So, to our Shoreline family:

I won't say "we'll miss you", because that means we won't see you. You are family. I expect phone calls, dinners, beach trips, and impromptu knocks on each others doors. However, can you also be praying for us. Pray we are sensitive to the Lord's voice and calling. That we "GO" where He wants us to go. That our kids can transition well to the only church/family they have ever known and their faith in the Lord grow deeper and stronger through this journey into the unknow. And don't be afraid to check in with us.

Day 13 and 14 of 14 (New Mexico to Arizona to California)

From: Deming, NM

To: Fountain Valley, CA

Miles Driven: 733 Today / 4,549 Total

Miles Hiked: Not worth mentioning / 61.6 Total

The last 2 days were the wind down days. No more hiking in blazing heat. No more sliding down waterslides in the pouring rain, no more shopping trips.

We left Deming and headed to visit family in Arizona. We did hit a pretty big lightning storm and massive downpour (that is a weird word spelled out). The rain was totally blowing sideways.

Justin's Aunt Kathy's house was the destination this time. I didn't realize that we'd also get to see his cousins though! They moved back to the area last year (if I remember the story correctly). That was a pretty nice surprise. I also got to meet Justin's Uncle Rich for the first time!

We were fed well and ended the night with games. Brianna might be Eli's new favorite relative (that's not true, little Alex still is).

I know, only 2 pictures?! Yes. I failed. 

I really like Justin's family and was too caught up in conversation and fun and forgot pictures. 

We got to see a lot of Justin's family (both sides) this trip. Justin and I will be married 15 years this week and from day 1 his family has always made me feel welcome. And they all make me laugh often. And as our friend Keith pointed out that is the #1 compliment I give Justin. So it runs in the family.

The 7 hour(ish) drive home today would normally be a "long" drive, but heading home is always a little different and it felt shorter than other drives. Other than the vacation's final farewell lightning storm halfway through.

Day 11 and 12 of 14 (Texas to New Mexico)

From: Monahans, TX

To: Demming, NM

Miles Driven: 510 Today / 3,816 Total

Miles Hiked: 10 / 61.6 Total

Hello my friends. Today is a summary of 2 days. We ended up having WiFi after all, but didn't get in the hotel until midnight and it was a LONG day...so I crashed.

We started at Guadalupe Mountains National Park. Google told me it would be a high of mid 70's so a 5 mile hike seemed doable (2.5 one way, then back). It was not mid 70's.

The first part of the hike was pretty cool (literally, with some cloud cover and breeze). Some awesome rock formations, small creeks, and lots of bugs.  Towards the end we were all pretty tired, but the hike ended at a cabin with rocking chairs on the porch for a nice rest break.

Back down (up? since we were technically in a canyon) was not as nice. The sun was high, lots of crying, whining, and sweat. One of the hikes where it was like put your head down and just keep walking. "Can't stop, won't stop".

After the hike we headed to Mayhill, NM. Heard of it? Probably not, but you should all go there and visit. The Mayhill Cafe Hotel was super awesome, good food, and fantastic company.

The company was the reason we went there. Team Henslee. "Internet" friends we met up with in Anaheim several years ago and we think they are all pretty fantastic. The kids do too.  We met up with Team Henslee and spent about 24 hours with them.

On the way out of Mayhill we stopped by a trail in Lincoln National Park for a picture (no hiking).

Then we headed to Demming, just to sleep. I can't wait to sleep. One more stop before we head home!

Day 10 of 14 (Texas)

From: Monahans, TX

To: Monahans, TX

Miles Driven: 407 Today / 3,306 Total

Miles Hiked: 4.6 / 51.6 Total

Back to the National Parks we go! Today we hit Big Bend National Park in Southern Texas. Some National Parks are absolutely stunning. Some are just OK. I'd say this one is just OK.

We did see some cool views in the basin, but it was more of desert type area. There was a nice cool breeze flowing through the basin while we hiked though. So that was nice.

We then headed further south to try a hike along the Rio Grande. BUT we misunderstood what the ranger told us and ended up on the "hottest" hike in the area. Bare rock with the sun reflecting and making it feel like 500 degrees. We got maybe a mile up and the kids and I called it quits. Justin was bummed, he wanted to finish, but the rest of us were slowly roasting alive.

As we headed back the kids got to experience their first time getting pulled over! We were going 81 in a 75 zone. The cop was super nice and let us off with a warning. Justin is pretty sure they used it as an excuse to check the car since we were so close to the border.

For those keeping track. I may not post tomorrow or the day after. We aren't dead. I just may not have WiFi.

Day 9 of 14 (Texas)

 From: San Antonio, TX

To: Monahans, TX

Miles Driven: 394 Today / 2,899 Total

Miles Hiked:  8 / 45 Total

Well, would you look at that. We're out of San Antonio.  I warned you that today would be rather uneventful. That was mostly true.  We did do 1 more day at Schlitterbahn to make the most of our passes. More fun was had. Also much frustration around the food situation...again. They just "didn't have food yet" around lunch time and "ran out of food" by late afternoon. So you've been warned. If you go to Schlitterbahn you have like a 2 hour window around noon to actually get food.

There was one incident. One of the "rapid" type lazy rivers was pretty backed up. So there is a small drop and people were literally piling up on each other at the bottom. One of the people in the bottom of the pile ended up being Joran. She was flipped upside down in her tube with people piled all over her so she couldn't get up. She finally got flipped over somehow, but not soon enough.  She was absolutely terrified and not having any more of "water rides" after that. Understandably. She's our most calm and easy going kid usually. So seeing her so scared and upset is one of those things that breaks me.

We also had lightning strike nearby so all the rides got shutdown about an hour early.  After a 20-30 minute wait with no more lightning they opened it back up. Since most people left we were able to rush and get a few last minute rides in right before they closed.

We got to our hotel super late and found the carpet was wet (leaking AC) so they switched our room. So here we are. Midnight. Tired. Sunburnt. Near Death Experiences.

Peace Out my friends.

Day 8 of 14 (Texas)

From: San Antonio, TX

To: San Antonio, TX

Miles Driven: 69 Today / 2,505 Total

Miles Hiked:  7.2 / 37 Total

Today was simple and pretty uneventful (I made a rhyme or maybe a rap). 

AND it didn't even rain on us! I'm not sure if that is happy news or sad news though.

This was the big family day with everyone spending all day at Schlitterbahn West. 

I pretty much didn't see Elijah the entire time since him and Alex were attached and off adventuring on their own most of the day. So here's the 1 picture I have of him and pretty much the only time I saw him all day.

However, since Eli pretty much hates all the fun rides it did free up the rest of us to do all the big slides. There were some pretty amazing ones. We even got a big group of us to do the "rapid" version of the lazy river.

I will say that Schlitterbahn was way to crowded so each ride had an hour+ long wait which is insane AND the BBQ food stand ran out of food. That wasn't great.

It was also the last "good-bye" to all the family as we all head separate ways.

But family time is great. Seeing the kids getting along and just enjoying being their ridiculous selves also great. I hope it is those memories they keep and share.

And for now, goodnight. Tomorrow we'll actually be ending in another city (good-bye San Antonio), but expect another pretty uneventful day. Or maybe it will be crazy and I'll have some insane story to tell!?