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Thursday, September 5, 2013

Release the Beast

There has been a whopping 2 times in my life that my inner mother wrath has attempted to make its way out.  I think generally try to take the crappy moments my kids go through as a learning experience and teach them how to cope and move on with life’s little hassles.

But on these 2 occasions the anger nearly emerged.  The action against my child was something the mom inside me could not process in a calm manner.

The first time was when we were at a friend’s house.  A friend who we love and adore.  A friend that I completely trust my children with.  While hanging out this friend’s mom took it upon herself to offer my then 4 your old daughter to try her cigar.  I had full faith my children were in good hands so I did not actually see this happen.  What I saw a crying Taylor.  If you know Taylor you know she’s typically a crier so that is nothing to cause alarm.  But this was different.  This was a fearful sort of cry.  We were on our way out so I picked her up and we walked outside.  When we got in the car I asked why she was crying.

Taylor: Because the dust made me cough?Me: What dust?Taylor: The mommy told me to breath in the stick with the dust?Me: What?Taylor: The stick she had in her mouth she told me to try it and the dust went in my mouth and it hurt me.

Yeah…I sort of flipped and for the sake of my friend decided not to jump out of the car and tackle his mother.  But vowed that we would NEVER go back to that house since I NEVER wanted to see her again.

The 2nd occasion happened yesterday.  There is a little boy in Taylor’s class that has always been pretty rude to her.  I am pretty sure it’s his mother’s doing since I have seen Taylor playing with this little boy and then the little boy’s mom whispers something in his ear and then the little boy stops playing with Taylor and just ignores her.  I told Taylor to just keep being nice to this boy even if he was being mean and just to not play with him if he was being mean.  She’s come home with a few stories about this boy.  Little rude comment he makes and what not.  And we just keep telling her to be nice and just don’t play with him.

About a week ago she came home and told me excitedly that this boy was now her friend, but that she had to keep it a secret since he wasn’t allowed to be her friend.   I told her I was happy that they were getting along and left it alone.

Then yesterday Taylor told me they weren’t friends anymore because somebody found out about their secret.  I asked her what happened and she said that another kid in the class told this boy’s mom that she was playing with him.  So this little boy told Taylor they can’t be friends anymore because his mom knew the secret.  He said he can’t be friends with Taylor because her skin and hair were the wrong color.


She then asked me if she could dye her hair black so it would be the right color.  I told her no.  Her hair was beautiful and the color of your hair is not a reason for not being somebody’s friend.  That no matter what color hair they have we can be their friend.

She also asked me how she could dye her skin darker.  Inside the anger boiled.  I told her again that we love everyone no matter what color their hair or skin is.  That it doesn’t matter and if somebody is telling her there is something wrong with the color of her hair or skin that she needed to tell the teacher.  I told her it is a form of “bullying” and it is not acceptable.

I knew Taylor would get picked on at school, that’s a given.  I knew she would get picked on for being the “white girl”.  But to actually have a kid tell her that he couldn’t be her friend because the color of her skin AND pretty much say it’s because his mom told him so made me rather livid.

To make matters worse that boy’s mother was sitting next to me about an hour later during the Back to School Night.  The Mother Wrath was contained….but only barely.

And for anyone out there that says racism doesn’t exist - I call you a liar.

And for anyone out there that says if you are white then you don’t know what racism is like – I call you liar.

And for anyone that says because you are white it’s not really racism if somebody treats you like that – I dare you to tell me that to my face.  After all, I have some Mother Wrath I’ve been holding in for a while that’s dying to get out.

And yes…I realize that if anyone does take me up on that last offer I will get my butt handed to me since I actually have no real ability to fight at all… But I never said I was being rational about any of this.

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