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Monday, July 29, 2013

Is The Baby In Your Belly?

I’ll get to the ear piercing eventually.  At least to me it was one of those important moments to document.  For you all it may be a boring topic so you can ignore that later post.
Anyway, to why I’m writing today - I’ve been writing a little about our surrogacy journey.  If this is new to you it’s because I haven’t posted these posts on Facebook so the only way you would know is that you are a “follower” of this blog or you come and visit me on your own without a Facebook reminder.
I’m not trying to keep it secret by any means.  I mean I put it on a public blog.  I just figure I had no “real” information to give so why try to draw too much attention to the topic.
I still have no real information to give, but I wanted to start giving some insight to the process.   Mostly so I don’t forget.  I do feel like this will be an interesting adventure for us Davis’ and I want to remember what it was all like.
Eventually I’ll fill you all in on the IP (intended parents) I’ve met over the last few months and how those meetings went, but for now I want to talk about how my family is taking all of this.
In general family has been supportive.  Some were less supportive then others, but not because they are against the idea of surrogacy, but because they were worried about the toll it could take on me (emotionally and/or physically).  But again, it’s not really them I want to talk about either.  It’s my kids.
I know, surprise, she wants to talk about her kids.
But really, they have taken it all surprisingly well.
I was worried how they would handle this.  Can they grasp the idea that mommy will be having a baby and then not bringing it home?  So here is essentially how we explained it all to them (Elijah not included…he was there, but he’s 3 so he doesn’t really get it yet).
We (well Justin) watches a precious little girl named Sophie most Wednesday’s for a couple of our friends.  My kids adore Sophie and love when she visits.  I told them, “You know how Sophie comes over for a little while so Daddy can take care of her?”
Kids: Yes
Me: Well, do we get to keep Sophie?
Kids: No, she’s Mrs. Kim’s baby
Me: Right.  So mommy is going to help take care of a baby for somebody
Kids: Who?
ME: A mommy and daddy that can’t have their own baby.  Maybe the mommy is sick so she can’t grow a baby.  So they are going to put the baby inside mommy’s belly so I can take care of it for a little while.
Kids: And then you have to give the baby back?
Me: Yep.  I’ll take care of the baby for a little bit like when we watch Sophie then I have to give it back.  But the baby will be in my belly so you won’t get to play with it like Sophie.  But you can talk to it and sing to it and help me take care of it.  And when the baby comes out we get to give it back to its mommy and daddy.
They seemed to get it.  The only problem is now at least once a week or so they ask if the baby is in my belly yet.  This also resulted in a deeper conversation with Taylor later about why some mommies can’t have babies…yeah that was a fun one.
The first time this question was asked one of the girls started crying when I told them no because they wanted to talk to the baby right now.  I told them I would tell them as soon as I have a baby in my belly.  This of course has not stopped the question, but I just keep reminding them I’ll let them know when it all goes down.
Also, if you would like to catch up on the other Surrogacy related blog posts (there really haven’t been many) I’ve added a tag of Surrogacy to them all and I thinks somewhere on my blog there is a way to click that tag to see all the posts (I really don’t know how this works, can you tell?)

1 comment:

  1. Rachael,
    You are embarking on an amazing journey. I hope that everything works out.
    Please keep me posted!