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Tuesday, July 1, 2014

The Honeydew

I’m a melon girl.  Cantaloupe, honeydew, watermelon – all glorious.  But reading “your baby is the size of a honeydew melon this week” is a scary thought.
I was recently asked if I was looking forward to the delivery.  That is an odd question.  Am I looking forward to labor? NO! Who ever looks forward to several hours (in some cases days) of severe pain?  Am I looking forward to it being over? Well… yes and no.
Being pregnant is nice sometimes.  Feeling the baby move can be cool.  Not being judged for eating mass amounts of food is pretty great.  Getting extra “food” money from my IP (Intended Parents) to ensure I’m eating healthy food is also quite nice.
But nobody really wants to read about the “good things”.  I know what you really want to hear is what I’m looking forward to being over with.
So that is why today I provide you with a list. 
You know you’re 7 months pregnant when…
·         Your husband is walking at a normal pace through the mall and you have to yell to slow down because your waddle just can’t keep up

·         It is requirement to make a moaning/groaning sound when getting up from a couch or rolling over in your bed

·         You feel like you are about to pee your pants, you race to the bathroom (well waddle briskly), and only manage a tinkle

·         You wonder how it is physically possible to stay away for more than 8 hours at a time (I NEED A NAP!)

·         If your upper body is not at a 90 degree angle than you of course have heartburn

·         You aren’t sure if it’s safe to wear a bathing suit in public because you can’t see if you were able to “trim all the strays”

·         You find it difficult to sit still because you feel like you lose control of you seizing body as the baby practices her back hand spring (she’s Chinese…she’s gonna be an awesome gymnast)

·         You realize you are going to miss making jokes about being half Asian

·         Even when complete unzipped, your pant’s zipper leaves an indent

·         You fully embrace the desire to eat whatever the heck you want at on a whim – Ice-cream sounds good, let’s get some…now

·         Your clothes are getting slightly to snug, but you can’t justify spending $40 on a pair of pants you’ll be wearing for only 2 more months now
I’m hoping for a nice “slightly” early delivery…let’s say August 10 (Tracy’s Birthday I think).  That sounds good right about now.

Oh, and this is my 400th post! I don't like that number so there will be no big celebration... you'll have to wait for 500 or 555 for that.

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