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Tuesday, July 26, 2011

I Blame it on my Father

That’s right Daddy! It is your fault my head is all messed up! And yes, I still call my dad, daddy :)

My life lately has seemed oddly like the beginning of Arachnophobia and Birds.

The reason, you may be asking, why this is my father’s fault? Because I started watching “scary” movies with him at the age of 3 or 4. I am GLAD we did. I now love scary movies and wouldn’t change it for anything, but this reason is also the cause of my recent experiences with mind wandering…

Birds:

My dad was terrified as a kid when he saw that movie. By the time I saw it – it looked fake enough that it didn’t scare me. I may be lying a little since I do recall being deathly afraid of a Toucan stuffed animal I had as a kid that sat on shelf directly in front of my bed and started at me. But as an adult I can assure you I am not scared of birds, beyond the fear of being pooped on.

But that is not the point. The point is I walked to my car a few days ago the sound of the many crows across the campus reminded me of that movie. I couldn’t help it when my mind wandered and I started to picture them attacking the bunnies (we also have bunnies ALL over campus – they just wont go away! They are pro at God’s commandment Go Forth and Multiply)

Arachnophobia:

I don’t have an overwhelming fear of spiders. I prefer not to run across them, but they don’t “freak me out”. Unless they are big… I do recall having HUGE spider (granted this was a memory from around the age of 5 so my mind could be playing tricks on me). When I say HUGE I mean like the size of a golf ball with legs. As my 5 year old self sat on the potty doing my business it snuck itself out of a room (I say a room because to this day I don’t know what the random little door in the bathroom led to…maybe a closet?). And it was HUGE! I ran with pants down screaming down the hall. It wouldn’t eaten me, I’m sure.

Anyway, the reason my life has begun to resemble the beginnings of that movie is because I’m being followed by spiders. 4 out of the 5 mornings I go to leave for work there is a spider web between my car and Justin’s with a fat ol’ spider sitting in the middle. In order to avoid the awkward experience of being covered in spider webs (note I did not actually listed to that video clip since I’m at work so that could be the wrong one) I go though my passenger side door and tear the spider web in half when I drive away! To make matters worse! This morning I as I got ready to leave I saw a spider “hanging” in the middle of our patio…only to realize it was not hanging. It had literally (said like the dude from Parks and Rec (tv show)) built an web across the ENTIRE patio. I had to get a box to wrap the spider web around so I could leave.

That is all for today. I hope you enjoyed and you MUST click the link for the spider web joke. Brian Regan is amazing – even if I is the wrong link – it will still be funny.

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