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Friday, December 21, 2012

All You Need is Jordan

So to full appreciate these stories I need to start at the beginning. 

The Ant Home
In first grade my best friend Jennifer Parr and I decided it was a great idea to build an arena for the red ants playing in our playground.  A safe place for them near the wall and away from the bottom of the slide.  We figured they’d appreciate it.

It took us several days to construct this arena with its beautiful rows of seating and a leaf roof to keep out sun and rain.  The only task left was to dig out all the red ants from the ant mound at the bottom of the slide and move them to their new home.

Needless to say, they were not a fan of this idea and I had swollen bitten hands to prove it.

The Death of Rock and Roll
My roommate and I were note the cleanest of people (well really it was mostly my mess – lets be honest), but we weren’t gross nasty people either.

I think the ants were drawn to our stunning beauty.  Whatever it was, they were randomly appearing in our dorm room.  One day they were all up in our laundry basket – another they were waiting for us when we climbed into bed! Yeah, it was horrible.

At some point we called for help and when the guys came to inspect there was not an ant to be seen.  On a completely unrelated note we decided we needed pets and got ourselves 2 tree frogs.

We named the Rock and Roll.  They were awesome tree frogs and we fed them crickets daily.

One weekend I came home after work and went to the cricket cage to get Rock and Roll their meal only to find NO crickets and a few ants stuck in the cage.  The freakin’ ants at our crickets!!  I called my roommate to tell her what happened and as I was calling I looked in the cage and noticed I didn’t see Rock and Roll.  Crap – they must have gotten out! (FYI their cage “roof” as only a taped on piece of paper towel).

As I was beginning to mourn the loss of our runaways I saw something moving in the frog tank and screamed (probably more a shriek) as I saw the entire bottom the tank was lined with ants and the movement was the ants carrying the bone of a frog leg!! No joke people.  We have pictures some where to prove it.  The stupid ants ate my crickets AND the frogs! They ate our frogs ALIVE!! 

That was the day that Rock and Roll was dead.

Jordan – Ant Slayer
Most recently the ants have taken a different approach to destroying my life.  First I saw a couple near our computers and decided maybe we should stop snacking in front of the computer screen.  Later I saw a stray ant or two in the kitchen and decided maybe I should get better at rinsing dishes and not just setting them on the counter.

There were never enough to be concerned, but their final location is what baffles me.  On a nearly daily basis there are 2-5 ants roaming our bathroom!  Not even the bathroom trash.  The sink, the bathtub, the towel cupboard.  I don’t understand.

This morning Jordan followed me to the bathroom (like she does on most mornings – click here for more on that) and shrieked “there’s something crawling on the wall!”  I looked and saw an ant and told her to squish it.  She looked at me puzzled then took the toilet paper roll she had in her hand (a whole other story) and began trying to poke at it.  I grabbed her little finger and helped her showed her how to squish it right.

From there on she was on a mission. While I showered I would hear her “Got you”, “Don’t run away I need to squish you!”

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