How non Valentines can I be you ask? Spiders of course.
There’s this thing that happens at our apartment that starts around spring and ends after summer.
It’s this horrible thing.
I was reminded of this event as I walked out of my front door this morning and right through a spider web built face level directly in front of my door (I walked through it first, you are welcome Justin).
There is something about our apartment porch that calls to spiders. Not little spiders, big, juicy, hairy spiders. I imagine signs on the wood beams above that say “PERFECT WEB SITE HERE” (pun intended).
I imagine these spiders spend most of their night building the biggest and truthfully beautiful webs that reach across the entire patio area and sit and wait for me to emerge.
When I’m prepared I walk out swinging my purse like a mad lady to break down the webs before I walk through them. When I’m less prepared I just walk right through them and swear for the next hour there’s a spider crawling on my back.
It doesn’t stop there. These spiders also take the time to build a web between my car door and Justin’s so that I can’t get into my car without again swinging my purse like a mad lady or walking through it. Although at least in this instance I have become pro at climbing in the passenger side door driving away watching the web and spider cling to my car for dear life as I got 70 down the freeway.
And with all that said the spider season has begun.