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Thursday, June 20, 2013

Things That Make Me Go Ew

There are things that freak me out in life.  Things that make me gag or make my skin crawl.  And obviously it makes sense to share them with you.

  1. Pills: When somebody swallows a pill it should never touch the tongue.  If I am swallowing a pill and it touches my tongue I gag.  If somebody else is swallowing a pill and I can see it sitting on their tongue…I gag.  Just thinking about it now while writing this is making me feel queasy.  And yes this does mean Justin will intentionally look at me and set a pill on his tongue and smile mischievously.

  1. Butter: When I was in high school my best friend’s little brother dared my best friend and me to eat an entire spoonful of butter.  Not a little spoon, but a mixing spoon sized blob.  So we did.  I barely got it down and I swear I was throwing up butter for days.  If I even get it on my hand while cooking I gag now.  And this means Justin will put a slathering of butter on my kids plates occasionally to watch me squirm as they lick it off.  

  1. Chicken: The site of raw chicken is disgusting.  Touching raw chicken is even worse.  But THE worst is the then cooked chicken.  Well, it’s only gross if I was the one who cooked it.  If I had to touch the chicken while it was raw I cannot eat it.  If somebody cooks it for me then I love chicken…unless it’s on a bone.  So to sum it up chicken on a bone is from the devil and if I had to touch raw chicken then I won’t eat it once it’s cooked.

  1. Vomit: The smell of vomit or the site of anyone vomiting since me into gagging convulsions. I can handle nearly every body fluid that shoots or pours out of my children except for vomit.  Justin knows…if a kid is throwing up he has to handle it or else he’ll be handling a vomiting child and a vomiting me.

  1. Dry Windshield Wipers: If you turn on your windshield wipers when it’s dry so they make that loud squeaky sound my skin crawls.  My whole body feels like a giant ball of snakes that’s trying to escape from the horrid sound. It’s not a pleasurable experience.
And now you know.  Which means most of you reading this will make an effort to do these things now to see my probably hysterically overdramatic reaction to these events.  And a select few, the best ones, will avoid these things (thank you to those 3 of you).

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