A Moment To Reflect On The Hard Stuff

I have had several conversations in the last few months that a year ago I wouldn’t have imagined.  I realize as the due date approaches ever so slowly that I’ll have a choice to make in a few months.

Will you do it again?

I have time (we have time – Justin will obviously be part of this conversation) to make that choice.  But none-the-less it’s still waiting for me.

Going into this Justin and I hoped to do it 2-3 times so we could save up to put a down-payment on a house. Along the way there have been some “struggles” that I am glad have been captured in this blog (well mostly). 

So it will come down to the question… was it worth it?

I’m not answering that question now – there is no way I can anticipate what the next few months will be like, but I wanted to make sure I reminded myself of the “struggles” so I can make an informed decision later.

So what do I NOT want to forget?

·         Bruises on my year end that made it painful tosit at work all day

·         Painful, throbbing injections on occasion

·         Massive Vomit and Weight loss the firsttrimester

·         Cramping and Bleeding when losing one of the babies

·         Stress of waiting on test results (this WILL bechanged in my contract if I do it again – lesson learned)

·         Headaches, backaches, leg cramps, tiredness, heartburn – the normal stuff

·         Missed work (not fair to my co-workers)

My assumption is my last 18 weeks and 2 days “ish” will be much easier than what has passed.  And despite all of this I do have an overwhelming excitement brewing.  I seriously cannot describe this anticipation of seeing this man and woman become a mommy and daddy as they get to see and hold their baby for the first time.  I get to be part of that.  HOW AMAZING IS THAT!?