Sometimes It's OK to Not Like Them

I’m pretty sure I tell you enough how much I love my kiddos.  I love them in a way you can’t fully understand until you are a mother.  It’s a deep unconditional love.

That being said, there are many times I do not like my children.

This last month has been a hard month in general to like our children.  Part of it was out of their control with pink eye, sinus infections, kidney infections, colds, fractured rib, and so on causing all involved parties to have a short temper and whine more then usual.  The lack of supervision from sick parents also let them get into even more trouble since they could get away with whatever they wanted while one or both of us was stuck in bed or in the bathroom.

The other part of the problem is just their attitudes.  They aren’t always this back, but man o man February was a rough one for us.  From a VERY WHINEY 6 year old to an ornery (wow not spelled awnry like I thought) 2 year old.

Taylor: She has whined like she has never whined before.  It seems 70% of the things her day send her off into a downward spiral of  2 year old like tantrums and that annoying high pitched whine that NEVER ENDS.  It can go on and on for like 30 minutes or more once she gets started.  No matter what we do with her. Comfort her: whine.  Ignore her: whine.  Put her in her room to calm down: whine.  Whine, whine, WHINE. She’s doing it EVERY where and not just at home.  At school, church, public, and so on.  Its not only annoying us now the poor world has to deal with her ridiculous behavior.

Jordan: Super defiant, so much more then her normal which is already excessive.  She has decided in life that there is no reason at all to acknowledge anything we say.  She just sits pretending to not here you and continues on her merry way.  When you force her attention she freaks out into fits of scream crying (it’s a thing).  Especially when you are alone trying to juggle 2-3 kids she pushes every button.   Pushes every rule.  Defies every request.  And its not just at home.  No matter where she is or who she has been with it’s the same report.  Its usually just her “moments” with us and now everyone else is being forced to deal with it and not just as “moments” but All The Time.

Elijah: NO.  This kid has taken a break for his “chill” personality to express himself with the use of the good ol’ word “No”.  Being our 3^rd kid I know each kid goes through it at some point, but it doesn’t make it any more fun.  Everything you say to him is greeted with an evil look of disgust and a “NO!”  Couple that with an imitation of Taylor’s whining and you may understand what this 2 year old is like right now.  His, in comparison, isn’t that bad, but when you combine it with Taylor and Jordan’s behavior this momma has wanted to call it quits.

Most frustration days, maybe several days, are followed by good days.  We’ve had nearly a month straight of just rotten behavior from our kids and its exhausting, and frustrating, and emotionally draining.  Who has that kind of patience?! The kind of patience that lasts an entire stinkin’ month? Not this mom.  I could use a break.  Not from my kids, I do love my kids.  I just want my well behaved kids back.  I want to not only love my kids, but actually like them again for more then 5 minutes at a time.

If you think I’m a bad mom for thinking like this, I really don’t care.  I know I’m a good mom.  I’m just a tired, exhausted, sick/in pain, emotionally drained, good mom.  And that’s OK, I’m just ready to back to being a regular good mom.