3 Days To Go - I Cried

I'm not really a crier. I mean I cry, but not very often.  I cry ANY time I see a sad Daddy/Daughter moment (I'm a Daddy's girl), like Armageddon.every.single.time.

Then there's things like my wedding where Justin did something amazingly sweet and nearly every woman in the room was crying. I wasn't. Justin hold it against me to this day.

However, there are moments in surrogacy that have made me cry. Granted some of those moments were due to being stuffed full of extra hormones. I have 3 particular stories to share. So with 3 days to go you get 1 a day :)

This Isn't How It Was Supposed To Be
With surrogacy #2 I went in for my 24 week - routine check up.  The doctor noticed something she didn't like on the ultrasound. My cervix was beginning to shorten. She asked if I had noticed any contractions. I hadn't. She wanted to keep me for an hour or so to monitor to.  I was having contractions. 1 night in the hospital to see how bad it was.

1 night turned into 1 week. 1 week turned into "you'll be here until delivery". So here I was. 45 minutes from home. From my family.  3 weeks passed. I missed them, but facetime is magic and my amazing mother-in-law was staying with my family helping fill that mom sized gap at home.  I was OK.

Then the first day of school came. I had never missed dropping the kids off. That sucked. I barely held it together. That same day they did my gestational diabetes test. I failed. I barely held it together. That same day the nurse came in to do the blood sugar test before my meal for the first time. The small prick on my finger was enough. That small prick of pain opened the flood gates.

I didn't cry. I sobbed.

The nurse was amazing, she had been there for my 3 weeks and just held my hand. She smiled and said, "It's about time. Nobody gets stuck on hospital bed rest without a breakdown, you made it longer than most"

ALSO a week later I had an ultrasound to check things out. Baby A was still head down (which meant when I did deliver I didn't need a c-section so that was great news) and my cervix was holding steady.  A day or so later, my water broke. The doctor checked to make sure and the look she gave me... I knew it wasn't good. I knew it was my water and that babies were being delivered today (27 weeks 5 days).  However, it was more than that. "Rachael, I see feet. We need to take you in for c-section fast. Call whoever you need, we'll do it in 1 hour".

I called Justin. I cried.