5 Days To Go - Money Doesn't Solve All Your Problems

Sometimes, being a surrogate means working with a family who has very little understanding of how pregnancy and childbirth work.

I had one of those families.

A very wealthy family who was used to throwing money at their problems to fix them.  Who didn’t understand that you can’t pay a pregnancy to do what you want it to.

This family wanted 4 babies at the same time. So, they had 2 surrogates carrying twins.  They didn’t want to take more time away from home than needed so it was very important to them that me and the other surrogate deliver on the same exact day.  They were told several times (by doctors and the agency) that there was no way to control when the babies were born.

So, although willing, I was frustrated initially when I had to postpone the transfer day a week because they wanted us to transfer on the same day (extra week of shots). Because, they just “knew” if we transferred on the same day we’d deliver on the same day.

Then add to the situation that the other surro was a planned c-section and I was not. They started asking me to schedule my c-section the same day as the other surro.  The doctor and I reminded them repeatedly that the plan was NOT a c-section for me so a c-section would not be scheduled unless there was an emergency.  They ignored this and asked me every few weeks anyway if I could “change my mind”.

Sadly, my body was not a fan of twins and I went into labor at 27 weeks.  The babies were small and had complications (expected with such an early delivery). I was pumping for them since breast milk has so many amazing health benefits, especially for these wee ones.  HOWEVER, my body was NOT ready. It still thought it had 10+ weeks to go.  It was not ready to product enough milk for 1 baby let alone 2. Repeatedly, they offered to “pay me more” to make more milk. Despite doing every trick known to man to increase supply and pumping every 3 hours for weeks, my body just wasn’t having it. At one point the doctor told me they were shocked I was able to produce as much as I was, they would have expected less than half the volume with how early I delivered.

I finally stopped pumping because the guilt/pressure from the parents because of the unrealistic expectations they had of paying “my body” to do something it just wasn’t going to do. I felt horrible, but it forced them to seek other options that worked better for both of us anyway.

FYI, the babies are beautiful and healthy now. Well, not so much babies. They’ll be turning 4 in a few days! Despite our horrible ending to the pregnancy the parents do send me pictures every year on their birthday which is cool. However, they don’t want any picture shared online so I can’t show you here. But trust me, they’re adorable.