I think being a stay at home parent is rough as it is then you add the fact that you don’t really want to be the one at home and you live in an area where it’s hard to get the gets out of the house without driving somewhere and it makes it worse.
I felt the need today to give kudos to my hubby. For those of you who don’t know Justin was laid off in the end of August 2008 (a month before Jordan was due) and aside from working for the Census for a couple of months – he has been a stay at home dad ever since. Not by choice, he has tried to find work with no luck.
I put a ridiculous amount of pressure on him – this is where I know I fail at being the “supportive” wife. I can’t help but think of the way that I would do things if I was home and try to push those expectations on him. Not only is that unfair, but unrealistic. Justin and I are a different breed. I find joy in sitting with my kids and doing “homework” or having a set schedule/routine in our day that includes “motor skill development” and “learning time”. This is my passion, and definitely not his. I find myself getting frustrated far too often at the fact that this is not his thing.
I have been making a conscious effort to try and give grace. I am not very good at this. Justin is much better at showing me grace when I come home snappy since one of the above mentioned unrealistic expectations were not met before even asking him why. I mean most of the time there is a REALLY good reason that something was not done and I would know that if I took a few minutes to ask.
At first I know Justin took this challenge as a “temporary” thing and treated it as such. Now, however, I know he has accepted the reality that work is not happening right now and his approach has changed a little. He is a good daddy. He has his moments, we all do. The kids adore him and every day the get the bodily needs and they get to spend time with their father. I hope they look back on this time later and life and cherish these moments they have with him. I also hope Justin will do the same.
Justin said to me once that you keep wishing your kids were older so you don’t have to deal with (insert thing/phase here), but then only realize the thing/phase that comes next is “messier” then the one before. The bigger they get the more mess they make (mess could be a literal mess or some kind of drama too).
I love my husband so much! I am proud of him as a husband and father. He takes good care of our family in a unique way. He makes us laugh. He makes us feel safe. He loves us. He sacrifices so much to take care of us and he doesn’t have to have a “job” to do it.
My prayer daily is for God to give him patience and strength to make it through each day so that he can teach our kids what a real man of God looks like. So our girls will know what kind of man to look for and so Elijah will see what kind of man to be.
I love my man and I wanted to take time today to let you all know how amazing he his.