The Bloody Truth

This is the disclaimer.  This blog will have bloody details.  This blog will talk about things many may not ever want to know about me.

You’ve been warned.

SOoOoOoooo… 10 months ago exactly while vomiting my breakfast into my hospital room toilet I felt a liquid gush from my lady bits.  I assumed, because of the commonality of it, that I had peed on myself.  However, it was actually amniotic fluid because my cervix was a pansy and couldn’t handle the weight of the twin babies.  

So 10 months ago I got sliced open and my innards were moved about and children were pulled out.

7 months ago I had my first post-delivery period.  It was a lot rougher than I remembered.  By rougher I mean just a pain to deal with.  I felt like I was bleeding buckets.  I was quite positive I would die of severe blood loss in my sleep (that is slight sarcasm – I was actually quite positive I would not die).

6 months ago it was even worse!  I had driven to church to hang out with our youth for the eve and when standing talking a clot the size of grape fell into my shoe! GROSS!!! (I warned you).  I got home and had blood everywhere.  I was grateful for black pants and something to sit on in the car.  To make it clear.  I was wearing both insertable and stick on protection and bled through both in a matter of 2 hours. Fun.

And for months it has continued.  I’d thought I’d grown out of the awkward phase of checking your rear end every few hours as you leave the bathroom “just in case”.   It wasn’t the bleeding so much as the clots.  I’ve had periods before (although never as heavy as needed to change things every 1-2 hours for 1-2 days).  I could handle the bleeding – it just means frequent bathroom breaks and rear end mirror checks.

It’s the flipping clotting!  They aren’t big clots, but they are big enough that the protective barriers can’t hold them so they take a road trip…down my leg… and most frequently into my shoe.

I’ve missed church because of the chance of the awkward conversation of – don’t mind the blob of blood on the floor – I’ve been told it’s perfectly normal.

I’ve missed work (that was a fun conversation to have with my male boss – hey sometimes I can’t control the amount of oozing my body does so it’s “safer” if I work at home sometimes so the embarrassing things happen in the privacy of my home instead of at work).  UGH! Who does that! Who has to miss work because they can’t control a stupid period! It’s aggravating.  I don’t want to be the type of lady who can’t keep her stupid period under control – it’s been 15 years or so (I have no idea when I started) I should know how to handle this.

But, sometimes we have no control over things our body decides to do.  

So, when I miss church – know I’ll be there next week.

So, when I miss work – know you can still find me working online from home.

So, when I run away unexpectantly to the bathroom – know I sneezed too hard and peed on myself because 5 pregnancies means you pee when you sneeze, cough, or jump on a trampoline/bounce house.  AND maybe I have a blood clot in my shoe.