Christmas Chaos

In 2011 (5 years into marriage) we finally had our own place. Which meant we could decorate for Christmas any way we wanted. I had grand ideas, but a tiny budget.  This first year I had to pick one of my many "perfect" decorating dreams to start with so I chose the tree. We'd have the perfect tree.

What is a perfect tree? None of the mis-matched or handmade monstrosities that children make. But perfectly coordinated colors and ornaments hung in a balanced fashion. This took form in ornaments in shades of blue with white lights. It looked clean and cute. Just like I wanted.

As the years went on the kids brought home more and more ornaments. I would tell them how much I loved them (I mean, just because they are hideous didn't mean I didn't love that they took the time to make them for me). I would then proceed to box them up with "memories", but they definitely had no place on my tree.

Then something weird happened 2 years ago.  As I was throwing away broken ornaments I realized my tree was running out of things to hang.  I began searching/shopping around but couldn't find a new "theme" that I loved.  I decided, just THIS year I'd like the kids have at it.  They decorated the tree in all THEIR colorful chaos from their years and years of crafting.  From a snowman missing a hand, to special ones they had gotten as gifts from people.  They were proud of the chaos that was our Christmas tree. I'd just pretend that looking at it didn't cause me to twitch a little.

As we started decorating last year (and throwing away more of my matching ornaments from years of being mishandled) the kids sat separating their ornaments into piles waiting to start the decorating process.  I guess we were doing it again. Our tree would go another year as a giant mess.  THIER happy little mess.  I figured I'd just go with it and even got an idea to support the mayhem.

I decided every year we'd take the kids shopping so they could pick any ornament they wanted.  We put their name and year on the ornament and add it to the collection on the tree.  When they have their own place I'll give them all of their ornaments to jump-start their collection.

So with that decision I figured I should actually hang their ornaments every year. Gone our the days of having a nice looking tree.  And so I embrace the crazy tree and instead of twitching, I even smile a little when I look at it.

Normal Conversations 8th Edition

Elijah: ::crying:: We are out of bread.
Me: We're trying to use up all the food we have before we leave for Thanksgiving. Make something else.
Elijah: But I want Peanut Butter and Jelly
Me: Then put it on a tortilla
Elijah: That's a great idea!
::comes back out a few minutes later::
Elijah: Mom, do we have a marker you can eat?
Me: Huh?
Elijah: Like so I can draw a straight line on my tortilla so it is exactly in half. One side for jelly and one side for peanut butter.
Me: No. Why don't you just fold it in half?
Elijah: Oh! That's a great idea.

……

He's obviously gotten a little OCD from his father.

Normal Conversations 7th Edition

::the kids competing in a video game::

Eli: Daddy is the best at all games
Taylor: No he is not. I know for sure he is not.
Eli: Yes, any game we play with him he wins
Taylor: It's because he's been playing games for like 30 years. How long have you been playing? You're like 5 or 6 years old?
Eli: I'm 8! I've had 8 birthdays. Don't you know how to count?
Taylor: Of course I do, but I don't count your birthdays
Eli: I count yours, you've had 11, that's why you're eleven years old.

Something Happened

Something happened to me this summer. 

There was this idea floating around in my head for about a year.  This idea that I live in the US and haven’t seen much of it.  I’ve only left CA a handful of times and mostly for school functions so it wasn’t like I got to experience the places I traveled to.  If I settled with my So Cal life I would miss so much.  I wanted my kids to experience the amazing things that are around us.  To appreciate the gorgeous things God created for us to enjoy.

So, as we began our adventure to hit all 50 states in the next 10 years, I totally fell in love with it. Seeing pictures or movies with places that are stunning are no longer a, “that’s cool”, but a, “Hey! Let’s add that to our list and actually GO there”.  This sense of adventure I didn’t know I had.  Let’s not get crazy…I mean you won’t find me doing a backpacking trip like EVER, but the quick 1-2 hour hikes are totally awesome.  You won’t find me travelling down an unpaved road inches from plummeting to my death in the car, but give me some defined lines down the pavement and we’re good.  Stepping more than like 5 feet off the hiking trail is a no-go, but following the beaten path to beautiful waterfall is fantastic.

What is this something that happened? I got this excitement that screams, “what’s next?!”  AND then as we were talking with some friends it occurred to me to share this crazy experience.  So that’s what I am doing now.

Do you want to travel with us next summer?  LET US KNOW! I can give you the details, but here is what we are doing:

• Arizona: Prescott National Forest, Grand Canyon, 4 Corners, and Little Jamaica
• New Mexico: Bandalier National Park, Petroglyph National Monument, White Sands National Monument, and Roswell
• Colorado: Mesa Verde, Glenwood Springs/Caverns, Rocky Mountain National Park
• Nebraska: Lake McConaughy, Carhenge, Scottsbluff
• Wyoming: Castle Gardens Petroglyph Site, Thermopolis, Yellowstone National Park
• Utah: Timpanogos Cave, Zion

That includes walking through caves, sand sledding, hiking to awesome rivers/waterfalls, exploring homes built into mountain sides, dipping in some natural hot springs, standing on the edge of amazing canyons, and random little things in between. About 5,500 miles over 16 days (Leaving on a Saturday and returning on a Tuesday). This trip is not for those that like to take their time to fully enjoy everything these awesome places have to offer. This trip it to see the “best of” these amazing states (or at least the “best of what is actually on a driving path that makes sense”).  Justin and I are building our own little list of places we want to go back to someday to fully enjoy, but this trip is to get a sampling. We never stay in 1 place more than 1 day, we drive an average of 5 hours a day, with a couple of days up to 7 hours (audio books and a bucket full of snacks are your best friend), and we will end every night in a hotel pool (Jacuzzi) because for some reason the kids still have energy to burn every night.

If you can manage getting the time off work to join us, the cost is the next big factor. That’s why I’m sharing this now 8 months before the trip. It takes us a year to save enough for these trips and I had to cut places out this year to make sure we fit within the budget.  Depending on if it is just you or an entire family here are the approximate costs:

• Hotels: $1,500-$3,000 (this might be lower depending on how many of you there is)
• Gas: $1,000 (this is at 16mpg at $4 per gallon)
• Food: $10-$15 per day per person
• Misc for attractions/tickets: $100 (plus any souvenir money you want)

Some of those costs could be significantly decreased for anyone that might want to travel with us solo since we could probably fit you in our car and/or some of the hotel rooms with us.

If you are interested in details let me know and I'll get you more info. I would need a solid answer by March when I'll start booking actually rooms.

Normal Conversations 6th Edition

It is time. The most horrible time. It is the dark days…of Santa Ana Winds. I hate windy weather. It is horrible. Random bursts of dirt in your eyes, hair in your mouth, or so much static that your clothes (and hair) cling to your body. It is the worst.  And these horrid winds is what triggered this edition of Normal Conversations.

Elijah: Can I go outside and play with my ball?

Me: No, it is too windy. It will blow away

Elijah: It isn’t too windy

Me: Go stand outside and see

::Taylor and Eli go outside, but only Eli returns::

Elijah: It isn’t too windy

Me: It has big gusts buddy

::Taylor comes in with crazy static and wind blow hair::

Taylor: Woah, why is it like that?

Me: Santa Ana winds. The worst.

Elijah: When will the Sammy Annie winds go away?

I’m totally not correcting him. They are now forever called Sammy Annie winds.

Normal Conversations 5th Edition

I'm pretty sure I'm not using "edition" correctly.  But what went from a one time blog turned into a thing...so I'm just going with it.

::watching t.v. with Jordan::

Character on show: What you did is unforgivable!
Jordan: Well, I guess he isn't Christian


::while finding something to eat::
Me: Jordan, how about a crunchy granola bar?
Jordan: ooo
Me: I like mine with peanut butter...but you don't like peanut butter.
Jordan: I HATE it. Hates a strong word. Hate is the perfect word to use.


::seeing a band-aid on Jordan's leg::
Me: What happened to your leg? Did you cut it shaving?
Jordan: I don't shave.
Me: Right answer, you pass the test.
Jordan: Can I shave?
Me: No

We Are Selfish

We, as humans, are naturally selfish. You see it best expressed with kids as they are growing up. The word “mine”, pushing to be in front of the line, the always “one-upping” stories, and so on. We must learn to think of others. It is a skill to be practiced and refined.  Even those with that do this well still have the selfishness lingering and sometimes it likes to make an appearance.

So, that sums up this guilt weighing on me currently.  We had our first 4.5 hour “interview” with the adoption agent that talked all about our marriage and then my history (Justin and kids get to do theirs on Monday). It brought up some things that began making me second guess this whole thing…again.  The doubts creeping in.  Are these legitimate concerns or my selfishness pushing to the surface?

Required Allowance

Nobody should get money “just because”. My kids have the chance to EARN money each week. There is a list of household tasks that need to be done and a value assigned to each of them. They can do them and make good money or do nothing and make nothing. It is very important to us that our kids learn they need to work hard to achieve their goals.  We found out that we will be required to give the foster/adopted child an allowance no matter what. I hate this, like a lot.

Surrogacy Complications

We were just recently approached by our last surro family and asked to carry one more child for them. We agreed, and the plan was to start the process next summer after we get back from vacation (hiking national parks while pregnant and/or nauseous sounds like no fun).  When we first met with the agency we were very clear on these plans and told that it would be “OK”. We heard yesterday that we are not allowed to be pregnant at all while going through the foster/adopt process. The reasoning makes sense, but now I have this conflict of choosing what to do. I want to do both. I want to help my surro family AND adopt a little boy.  The AND is possible, but it makes things significantly more difficult for us and the timing much more “inconvenient”. Is this selfishness like I think it is? Or is it a legitimate concern that this inconvenience could be a bigger impact (a negative one) on our family? How do I balance making sure I take care of the family I have now with helping a child in a horrible situation? This is causing me much aching of the heart.  Like really, random tears for the last 18 hours.

This Won’t Be Easy

I appreciate the honesty of our Adoption Worker. She was very clear on what we are getting ourselves into.  It is very clear this will NOT be easy.  Our whole world will be constantly shifting as we adjust to adding a new child to our home. A child that is very likely to have some baggage to bring along because of the crappy stuff they’ve had to experience in their short life. A child we will need to love and attach to that has a possibility of being returned to their biological family anytime during the process.  Constant visitation hours that will likely be hard on the child and families involved. As we hear this I think, “This is a risk we are willing to take. This child deserves to be in a loving/healthy family. We can handle this.”, but then, “What about our kids? Can they handle this? Can they love a stranger (they totally can)? Can they handle the loss of a child they grow to love? Is this too much of a burden to place on them?”. Am I just trying to pass my selfishness off as concern about these things?

Potential Wasted Time

As we were finishing up the interview there are several things in my past that I would easily consider as “resolved” issues. Things I’ve been through that over the last 20+ years have worked through with friends, family, and my amazing husband.  So as the Worker hinted several times about being “open and willing” to attend counseling for these things for a few months before we are approved I sort of just get annoyed.  Again, deep down I understand WHY. They are going to be placing a child with a stranger. They SHOULD be vetting those people out and making sure they have the stuff together.  But why require counseling for something you see as a non-issue?  Couldn’t we just meet with somebody once to talk through to see if it is an issue? Why do I have to waste so much time (a precious and limited resource) and money on something that may not even be needed? I know this one is pure selfishness. I acknowledge that.

So, what’s the point of all of this? I have no idea what I’m doing. I have no idea what the “right” thing is. So, can you pray for us? Pray for God to work on our (my) hearts so that our desires align with HIS desires, so it is clear what the answers to our questions are.  That as we (I) struggle with all of these thoughts I am drawn closer to HIM.

Normal Conversations 4th Edition

We do this thing at dinner. We call it best parts and worst parts. We go around the table and ask the best part of the day and the worst part of the day.  Apparently, this is a "thing". I only started it because asking kids 5 and under (which is the age we started this at) about their day was very uninformative, but asking specific questions made it a lot better.

Any way, now to the normal conversation for the night...

Eli: Daddy' what was your best part about today?
Justin: Hanging out with mommy
Me: We didn't hang out
Jordan: Sure you did! You were kissing. That's hanging out.
Justin: You're never allowed to hang out with anyone...ever

::a few minutes later while cleaning up dinner I walk by Justin and give him a kiss:

Jordan: Look! You're hanging out again!

Normal Conversations 3rd Edition

Note: This blog contains some gross information so unless you want to get all up in our personal business stop reading. You’ve been warned.  Know that the kids know a lot about reproductive things because of the surrogacy we’ve done (although they do not all know the ‘how’ a baby is made they know what is needed for the baby to grow).

This story comes after several months of horrible menstrual cycles that have caused crippling pain and multiple incidents of blood gushes causing what looks like murder scenes on the floor.

::I pick the kids up from school and Eli runs up to me::

Eli: Hi Mommy

Me: Hey buddy, how was school?

Eli: Good! Why are you here?

Me: To pick you up so we can go to church

Eli: ::looks puzzled for a moment:: Oh, you can leave the house because there are paper towels at school and church!

Me: huh?

Eli: So, if like your period is really bad and there’s lots of blood you can just use paper towels to clean it all up ::saying this at full volume as more kids are being picked up by parents all around us::

Me: Um, I guess, but I’m fine so I don’t need to worry about that

Eli: but just in case

Me: Sure

::a few minutes later::

Eli: Mommy?

Me: What?

Eli: Mommy?

Me: What?

Eli: Mommy?

Me: What?

Eli: Mommy?

Me: ::silence::

Eli: ::finally begins talking:: I know why we don’t have space ships don’t exist

Me: Why?

Eli: Because we don’t have enough money to build it. But when we do we can make one and go back in time

Me: No, it is just not a real thing buddy. We can’t travel in time.

Eli: But if you did, you can’t change anything! Like with the guy and his kite. If you cut the string on the kite, then we’d never discover electricity.

Me:… sure buddy.

Do I Even Know My Kids?

Nothing quite makes you question every parenting detail like being evaluated (judged) on your parenting abilities.

There’s always this little the voice in the back of your head that makes you question most of your choices, responses, conversations, rules, discipline techniques and so on. 

Should you have said that to her, maybe she isn’t old enough for that conversation?

Maybe grounding him for that was a bit excessive.

Why did you snap at her like that?

So, as we start the lengthy interview process with our adoption case worker for our home study my confidence of like 75% doing this parenting thing right has quickly dropped to like 50%.  They’re all alive, I feed them, I dress them, I make sure they get to school, I make sure they have a bed to sleep in (even though they beg to sleep on the floor), and we even keep the house at a reasonable temperature (most of the time). That covers 50%.

We haven’t even had our first interview yet (Next Thursday 12pm-4pm so you can be praying for that) and my confidence is dropping. Why? Because apparently, I know nothing about the kids’ lives and have no time in my life for kids. Is that an exaggeration? Most definitely. But I’m just being honest on how I’m FEELING at the moment, even though logically I know it is irrational.

Case Worker: So, when can you meet?

Me: Normally, we are pretty flexible, but Justin’s school schedule right now is crazy packed because he has so little time to fit in a TON of observation hours.

Case Worker: So, what day works best? We can only meet Monday-Friday during regular business hours.

Me: Um, right now… he is only free on Thursdays from 12PM-4PM because of class and/or class hours and/or work.

Case Worker: We usually meet at 9Am or 2PM, can you make that work?

Me: Not in the next 3 weeks. Maybe after that, but I’m not sure about that either because he’ll have hours to do at a different school and we don’t know that school’s schedule yet.

Case Worker: Is your schedule always this busy? (that’s what she said, what I heard was, “So, do you have time to take on another kid? Do you have time for your kids? Why are you such horrible people?”)

Me: Not usually, this semester has just been a lot busier than others.

Case Worker: Well after we finish your interviews we’ll need to meet with the kids. When do they get out of school?

Me: Um… sometime around 3

Case Worker: You don’t know when they get out? (that’s what she said, what I heard was, “Why don’t know you when your kids get out of school? Don’t you love them? Shouldn’t you know every detail about their lives?)

Me: Well…they are in an after school program that takes them as soon as they get out of class until we pick them up around 5:00ish.  So, we never pick them up when they actually get out so I’m not sure. I know it is around 3 because we have picked them up for a special date a couple of times at 3.

Case Worker: But you don’t know the exact time?

Me: No, I can call the school and ask though.

Case Worker: No, its fine (that’s what she said, what I heard was, “You’re sort of a horrible mother”)

And with less than a week away before she begins asking us every detail of our lives (from birth to now) and marriage I’m sort of freaking out!  I mean, she hasn’t even officially started the interview and I feel like I failed.  Even as I write this and ask for prayer that it goes well I wonder if I really mean that. I keep getting these doubts creeping in. Can we handle this? How messed up have we made our kids already? Should we really mess up another kid? I want you all to pray it goes well because I KNOW that is the right thing, but my mild panic is whispering that if it doesn’t go well all of this will be over quickly and we will move on with our lives like they are now so no big deal. I feel like a horrible human for admitting that. I’m not looking for reassurances, I’m just “talking it out” with myself in a very public format because then I can’t hide from dealing and processing it all.

And every time I get on the brink of calling it quits I stop focusing on ME (because at my roots I’m a broken and selfish human) and focus on that little boy.  AND then, my heart shifts from ME to HIM.  And then mostly I get a little choked up.  HE deserves a life where he feels loved, safe, and cared for.  I can do that. We can do that. I may not get “parenting” right every day, but every day I do love them.

OK, moping over.  Let’s look at this picture of my awesome kids and move on now.

Normal Conversations 2nd Edition

::Taylor hits Elijah in the head with a pillow::

Eli: OWWWWWWW ::cry:: ::whine:: Taylor hurt me

Taylor: It was a pillow, it didn't hurt that bad

Eli: Well...you don't hurt that bad (said in a mean/sarcastic tone)

Me: Eli, why are you trying to be mean and hurtful? Go to your room to cool off.

Eli: ::cry whine::

5 minutes later

Me: Eli come to the table for dinner

::Eli runs out butt naked::

Me: Eli, we don't come to dinner naked. Get pants on.

::Eli leaves and comes back with a blanket on him::

Me: Eli, why are you still naked? Why are you naked at all? I told you to go to your room? Where are your clothes?

::Eli just stares at me giggling:

Taylor: Eli! Get pants on! Mom, I can't eat with him all naked like that.

Me: Eli! Go get clothes on

::Eli comes out with shorts on::

Taylor: Gosh! Mom, I can still see his chest!!

Me: Taylor, get over it

Jordan: Oh, OK! We are allowed to eat without shirts on! ::starts to lift her shirt::

Me: NO! Girls keep their clothes on and boys keep their pants on for dinner! This isn't complicated or new!

Normal Conversations 1st Edition

On this edition of "Normal Conversation" we find that Jordan has not yet given up her serial killer tendencies.

Enjoying National Cheeseburger Day at Farmer Boys with $1 burgers a young man approaches our table staring at Jordan and smiling.  Jordan, after a moment of gathering herself seeing a person she knows out of context, says, "Oh, its a friend from school".  But that's nothing special we chatted, finished our meal, the young lad gave Jordan a "gift", I glared judgingly (apparently that's not a word) at the back of his head as he walked away.

In the car on the way home...

Me: What was that kid's name? Matthew?

Jordan: Ethan. Mom, I thought you said we weren't going to be a long time? Now I won't have time to play with my friends!

Me: We are leaving so late because you stopped to talk to friends.

Justin: Yeah, you are getting mad about leaving friends to hang out with friends so you wont have time to hang out with friends.

Me: You have too many friends. Stop having friends.

Jordan: I have a friend at school and after I stabbed him...

Justin/Me: What? Back up. What do you mean you stabbed him.

Jordan: with a toothpick, but then...

Justin: Jordan, you really shouldn't stab people.

Jordan: No, its fine. He doesn't care.

Justin: Nobody likes being stabbed.

Jordan: No, after I did it he was like, its OK.

Justin: No.  We don't stab our friends.

Around the [Country] in 80 Days (more like 140)

Hello my friends!  I was feeling all nostalgic the other night as my kids were flipping through a photo album of our year in 2013 with some friends.  Mostly I was realizing that my plan to complete an album every year had pretty much stopped 3 years ago so I needed to get back on that.

So I jumped on my computer and began prepping/organizing my photos.  THEN I came across our summer photos for the last 2 years, like these gems:

I did thoroughly enjoy our last 2 summers of travel. Like a lot.  There were moments of tears and yelling, but overall it was just fantastic.  A sweet time of seeing some amazing things, some amazing people, and doing it all as a family.

So nostalgia was the start of this. There was also the fact that I've been asked by a few (3 to be exact so nothing all crazy) for our itinerary for this last year because they wanted to do a similar trip.  This got me thinking...

Maybe other people want some ideas of places to see or stay around the US.  Maybe people want to hear about our car nearly falling apart on a horrible dirt road, or Jordan vomiting in the back seat (FYI we now know she gets motion sick), or the freak thunderstorm that prevented a hike.  So, why not blog it?

Admittedly, I will be leaving out 2017 trip because that was way too long ago to remember (it was also not technically part of our plan to hit all 50 states in 8 years).  I also expect that most of 2018 will be missing some fun and/or important details because that was so 2 months ago and who can remember that far back?  BUT I'll start it.  One day at a time with as much as I can remember, lots of pictures, and the nitty gritty details (miles traveled, cash spent, and itinerary). Because yes, I totally made spreadsheets and print outs for the entire trip because I'm hyper-organized (aka anal) like that.

So stay tuned!

In 3-6 Months

Today we met with Olive Crest. Although it sounds like it should be some sort of delicious tapenade, which sounds amazingly delicious right now, it is in fact an agency that is partnering with us to make us a family of 6.

The countdown has begun.

In 3-6 months we will be approved and start the waiting process. Assuming we aren't deemed insane or dangerous... so no guarantees. Holy cow!

We are very much OVER babies. To all my friends that have them, we are happy to babysit for you anytime.  But over are the days of never sleeping in, potty training, changing diapers, and worrying about every exposed cable or button in sight. Which means we want an older child. A boy between ages 6-8 to be exact.

And we found out today that it is not only possible, but can happen quicker than we expected.  I had we were going to do a foster-to-adopt situation. That is the "normal" way things work when adopting through the county (not private).  The foster process usually lasts 12-18 months (time for reconciliation so the child can go back home with their family, which is obviously the goal). THEN the adoption process would start which can be another 12 months.  BUT since we are looking for an older child we could actually bypass the foster process.

What I mean is, the child would have already been with a foster family for 12-18 months.  The court would have decided reconciliation is not possible and ordered the adoption process to start which means the child must be placed in a adoptive situation (aka our house).

Hearing that today has me excited, but feeling super guilty about that excitement. In order for us to have a child placed with us that kid has to go through a lot of crap. It feels weird being excited about that. Obviously the crap isn't what I'm excited about, but I feel the need to remind myself that adoption for these kids isn't how it is "supposed" to be.  But we are ready (well getting ready) to give this kid a stable, although some what crazy, life as part of Team Davis.

Pray for us please.  There is no fund raising needed (it will be 'free' to adopt through Olive Crest), just lots of prayers for what I know will be a difficult time as we wait. Wait to find out if we are approved. Wait to find a child to welcome to our home. Wait to make him part of our family.

For now, paper work, buying emergency escape ladders, fire extinguishers, and locks for all dangerous things.

The Ultimate Parenting Test

I know I've said it before, but there is something evil about homework.  How is it that homework turns children into distracted, crying, hyper messes and turns parents into bodies of pure rage?

I hate homework. I hate how it makes my kids act. I hate how I respond to the way my kids are acting. I hate that my mostly patient self suddenly becomes short, snippy, and even occasionally cruel.

I hate that it is 20 minutes after my daughter's bed time but she is still struggling through homework that is stretching her a little beyond what she is ready for.

BUT (that's a big but...and that makes me giggle like my 8 year old son) it is pretty awesome that the book she is struggling through is one of my favorite books.  It is exciting to listen to her ask questions about what she is reading when I know the exciting stuff that is coming.  My Taytor-tot loves to read and I've been pushing her to read more challenging books so she can get better. I love seeing her work through the new words and think through the challenging story line as it unfolds.

I hate homework, but I sort of love that she's getting old enough for me to share some of my favorite things with.

Start Young

SO, if you have followed us for any amount of time you are likely to know that we are huge Dave Ramsey fans.

All the way, super tight budget for several years to work your butt off to get out of debt.  We paid off a little over $40k in debt in about 5 years making around $30k a year WITH a family of 5.

It is possible people.

We have made a lot of scarifices to get here. And we will not buy anything unless we have the cash to do so.  All that said it is super important that our kids learn this early.  We make them WORK for their money, they don’t work, they don’t get paid.  When they do get paid they make the choice of what to “give”, what to “save”, and what to “spend”.  We talk openly with them about things we say “no” to because it just isn’t in the budget. They understand the must save up to buy what they want and not “borrow” money from anyone (including us).

So, when my credit union started a line of products meant for kids that reinforce these principles I was all over it! As the kids get older, their accounts evolve and the tools they are offered change to meet their age/maturity.

The real point of this blog though? To show you Tay’s pure excitement as she received her very own debit card. Linked to her very own checking account that she can deposit money into.  She got her very own Online Banking account so she can keep track of what she is spending and very soon we will start her very own budget.

There is something pretty darn cool about seeing your kid take responsibility for managing her money the right way.

The Dreaded Back to School Night

I’ve only been doing this parent-of-a-school-aged-kid thing for 7 years.  I want to be an involved parent, I really do.

I try (and nearly always succeed) in getting time off for field trips and school events.  I try to keep open and active lines of communication open with teachers.  I try to emphasize the importance of school with the kids.

But MAN, OH MAN how I loath Back to School Night.  I was all excited for it my first year. I remember going with my parents. You go to the kid’s class. The teacher talks about who they are and what to expect in the class.  I wanted THAT. I wanted to go and get a feel for who this lady was and what the expectations of my kids were.

That is NOT what it is.

When did Back to School Night become an hour-long presentation (ok, well 45minutes)? Why do I have to sit through 30 minutes of random school/education presentations first?
• Here’s how to drive through the parking lot
• Reading with your kids statistically shows they do better in school
• Attendance is important
• Monitor your child’s online activity

WHY do I have to sit through that? AND why do I have to sit through it for each of my kids’ classes? What a waste of time! And then the poor teacher.  She has only a few minutes left to cram in everything she wants to tell you (the stuff we all really care about anyway).

So, I hate it. I go because I want the kids to see that school is important. That THEY are important enough to go to these dumb meetings for.  Only 9 years left…

We Like Games

So, as I was prepping to write a rant about setting kids up for failure by putting an insane amount of pressure on them starting in elementary school, I realized something.

I've totally been super negative lately.

Or maybe I just feel negative because I'm tired and grumpy.

Instead, I forced myself to think...what were some highlights this week.  It was easy.

Games + Friends

Once a month we have a group of friends gather around our kitchen table and we board game it up.  I look forward to this night. I stole the idea from a friend from Highs School that was doing monthly game nights. Thanks Howard and Philicia (and gratz on the adorable new baby)!

I mean, board games are amazing and I'm glad we have a wall of them.  Some people buy book shelves for books, I feel sorry for those people. Obviously bookshelves are made for games. We need a wall of them...maybe we should start working on a 2nd wall.

We have card games, board games, dice games, strategy games, resource games, dungeon crawlers, fast games, long games, party games, kids games, competitive games, and co-op games.  We have video games too, but the lack of good multi-player games in the last few years is rather disappointing.

Do you like games? Cool, lets hang out.  Really.  It's an open invitation (if you don't mind the chaos of 3 kids running around in the background).  I will even occasionally cook for you.

Let’s Talk About Bugs

So much of my life the last couple of days has been impacted by creepy crawly things.  I’m totally over exaggerating, but still.

The most devastating news… my van is a death trap.  2 weeks ago, I got an awesome (new to me) van.  It’s silver, and shiny, and has about 100 buttons and comfy leather seats.  The best part is, because Justin and I live on an insanely tight budget we had enough money saved to pay for it in cash!

BUT things didn’t stay so pretty.  It started with an ant infestation. How does that even happen? One day I was taking groceries out of my car and found ants in the back. Just a few so I didn’t think anything of it.  But every day since, when getting in the car, I squish 2-3 ants that are walking across my steering wheel, or climbing up my leg, or crawling down the seat.  Ugh. How long before they die of starvation? It’s a brand-new car! There aren’t even crumbs for them to live off of.  That’s not even the worst! On the way to work on Tuesday I saw a HUGE spider web and right smack dab in the middle of it a large spider. Like 50 cent piece big.  And a Google search later I determined it must be a brown widow.  So, I’m pretty sure after it finishes eating all of the ants its going to find and attack me (I can’t find it – I tried).

Now I’m going to just complain so feel free to stop reading and end on the scary fact my van is trying to kill me.

Then there was the whole “we’re spraying your apartment for pests” letter.  Don’t get me wrong. I appreciate the fact that my complex is being pro-active and keeping AWAY the creepy crawlies, but their list of things to do is insane.  By 9am we had to …

•         empty our closets and put everything on our bed – this meant we wouldn’t be able to sleep on our beds if I did it early, so we had to wait until we woke up the morning of. Because getting the kids up, ready for school, and out the door in time in the morning isn’t hard enough as it is.
• 
  
•         empty all of our kitchen cabinets and place everything on our kitchen table – this meant our kitchen table (and kitchen really) were un-usable. Since I know from experience this takes a couple of hours to do I didn’t have the luxury of waiting until the morning of to do this. AND since we have church the night before it meant doing a lot of it during the day before which meant I had to eat dinner out (which we didn’t have money for because I already spent all of our budgeted food money for the week), nobody go breakfast this morning, and since I can’t re-enter my apartment until after 6PM it means dinner out again tonight.

•         empty out all of the bathroom cabinets (no complaints about this one)
• 
  
•         move all furniture a foot away from the wall.  You know, all the massive bookshelves we have full of games and books, and bunk beds, and other furniture all anchored to the wall.  After a long conversation with the apartment manager she said I didn’t have to this one (yay)

BUT at least the crawling beasts infesting my car won’t be in my house. So that’s a bonus.  AND after venting (let’s be honest, totally complaining) to a coworker he blessed us with a gift card to cover dinner.

Prayer

Prayer is this super important thing. I know it is. But for me, prayer isn’t easy.  It’s hard.  Really hard.

Praying out loud causes me such extreme anxiety. People listening to me talk…judging the words I’m using, or that 10 times I stumbled over a word (caused by the anxiety).  I spend almost the entire prayer focusing on those around me instead of on the God I’m praying to.  Which I guess means I’m not even really praying…

Praying alone is much less stress filled, buy I am SO easily distracted.  I openly admit I usually have a busy mind. I don’t like “nothing”. I like having something to do or think about. I like having to think through things. So, when I sit in prayer I have the best intentions that soon are overtaken with what I’m going to make for dinner, or trying to remember if I set that appointment, or thinking about how many hours of sleep I’ll have if I fall asleep now. God totally deserves better than that.

Because I’m not feeling beat up enough by the convicting message from Francis Chan I also like to listen to Chuck Swindoll on the way to work in the morning.

Chuck Swindoll called us out on our lack of honesty in prayer. How often do you tell somebody you’ll pray for them…then don’t? So, Pastor Swindoll says in some manner or another that if you told somebody you’d pray for them and then DON’T then next time you see them, tell them you didn’t.  You’ll fix that bad habit really quick if you’re being honest and admitting your failures to people you had “failed”.

That hit me pretty hard this last week so I’m challenging myself in my prayer.  I’d like your help!  Can you text me, or call me, or email me, or message me, or even comment on this post with a prayer request for you?  Tell me, how can I pray for you!  Every day I will choose one of you to pray for. All day. When I wake up, throughout my day whenever I find myself with a few free minutes, while I’m driving, and before bed.  I want to focus my day in prayer for friends and family (and maybe the random stranger that comes across this). 

I’ll let you know the day that I am praying for you (for accountability) AND if I fail you, I’ll be honest and admit it to you and seek your forgiveness.

Why I Gave Up

Funny story… so in January 2017 I shared with you all we were wanting to adopt. I was excited about adding a young school aged boy to our home. We prepped Eli’s room with bunk beds and got “brother’s bed” ready.

Then the paperwork.

50+ pages of information and questions.

And rules.

The rules freaked me out.

I was all for adopting until I started reading the pages and pages of “rules” it takes (foster to adopt) that would very much disrupt our lives. I KNOW that is selfish. Even typing it is super embarrassing, but I’m just being honest and sharing my crap with you all – because why not?

I can’t leave my kids with several family members due to past legal issues. I can’t travel to see my parents on a whim (because they are out of county and that takes prior court approval). I can’t use our trusted Youth Group peeps to babysit anymore. And so on.

I didn’t like that. Not to mention the amount of “all-up-in-yo-business” questions that range from how often do you and your spouse fight (and how do you fight) to how “sexually compatible” me and Justin are.

So… I gave up. This was too much work. Causing too much “unknown” for my overly-planned out heart.

THEN, we started listening to some stuff by Francis Chan. If you don’t know him, watch and read all his things. I’m pretty sure it is completely impossible to walk away from anything he presents and not feel some sort of conviction.

He was talking about marriage and how people say things like “We could never do XYZ like you”.  And he said neither can he! It’s by the Grace of God he gets through things. It is our job to make the leap and let God fit together the pieces.

I don’t like that. I like knowing what’s coming. I like some semblance of control. YES I know this is NOT the right attitude.  Hence the conviction.

So here we are, app in hand (making Justin refill the whole thing out since I threw away the first one) and we’re going to go for it.  So, pray for us (me) please.  If God wants us to welcome anther kiddo into our family, then pray for peace for me to go with the flow and take it all one manageable chunk at a time. If it isn’t His plan, pray we find out soon so I don’t have this looming uncertainty that I super-duper hate (but that’s probably the lesson I need to learn regardless of the outcome).

Let's Talk About Coitus

Just a heads up.  This blog is about random sex related conversations that have happened with my children over the last few months.  I won't sugar coat things so if it offends you - don't read it.

First conversations of sexual type things started with my surrogacy journey.  I had to loosely explain to the children how this baby in my belly was NOT their sibling.  It was as simple as:

Mommy's have an egg in their bodies.  Daddy's have an egg in their body.  Those eggs come together and make a baby.  This baby in my belly is from a different mommy and daddy so it isn't our baby.

Yes. I know men don't have eggs.

That seems like so long ago.  Thanks to a series of unfortunate events that range from 4th grade boys calling 4th grade girls whores - to my 3rd grade daughter finding a stash of pornographic magazines at school - my kids' knowledge of the sexual things is much more than I anticipated at this point of parenting.

So...it was only a matter of time before Taylor (my 11 year old) realized that she was conceived outside of wedlock. This was not a big dark secret. We knew eventually it would come up and we would discuss it honestly and openly.

She figured it out on the car ride home from church one night.  Which led to slew of questions from both girls.  Elijah (in typical Eli fashion) just sat quietly - I assumed he was spacing out thinking about who knows what.  Until finally...

Elijah chimed in "Taylor, you're wrong. Babies come from mommies AND daddies. AND. So they have to be married.

Yes Elijah, stay innocent dear boy.

Taylor also recently asked  if people have sex more than just making babies. I said yes. She then asked if Justin and I have sex other than making babies.  I said yes. Than she asked how many times... Naturally I said a lot. She made a disgusted face and said, why didn't you just not tell me the answer?!  THEN she asked if Justin and I were having sex for fun when she was conceived to which I said yes.  She was mortified. It was fantastic.

And thanks to the open "question" time after she watched the sex-ed video at school she said some girl asked if you can get pregnant from a penis in your mouth.  I said no.  She then responded with "Why would she even ask that question? Why would you put a penis in your mouth?" And Jordan thinking she knew the obvious answer for why you put anything in  your mouth willingly... "Because it tastes good!"

No dear child...just no.

I was very happy for an abrupt change in topic before I had to dispute that fact with Jordan.

She's Always Been Stubborn

It wasn’t intended, but I realized I recently wrote a blog about Taylor (and her ex-boyfriend drama) and one about Elijah (just being Elijah).  BUT no Jordan-specific blog.  So, let’s get her caught up.

My Jordan.  

My feisty and confident Jordan. She knows what she likes and goes for it.  Since she was young she insisted on dressing herself (unlike her older sister who is 11 and still asks me to pick her clothes for her – which I have refused to do for years, but she keeps trying).  This frequently results in outfits that consists of different colors, patterns, and layers upon layers.  It results in high tops with a fluffy skirt. She’ll take on a new challenge without hesitation because she is certain she’ll figure it out.

My brave and tough Jordan. She rarely cries (sometimes she should cry more often). She’ll go face first into concrete and split her chin open needing 10 stitches and barely cry.  She’ll walk around with a broken elbow at school for a couple of hours with nothing but an ice pack. The one who has been riding real roller coasters since she was tall enough (Age 3).  The one who punched a spider to kill it on her gymnastics mat during class while the rest of the girls (and teacher) screamed and ran.

My sensitive and tenderhearted Jordan. She has a deep desire to serve those in need.  Which translates to making dinner for the family when mom isn’t feeling well to helping Pastor Dan sweep and clean up almost every Sunday morning before services start.  She’ll sit and hold a baby for as long as humanly possible (or until the parents make her give the baby back). The one who happily fed her baby brother and changed his diaper whenever we’d let her.

My VERY stubborn Jordan. She is confident because she is too stubborn to let anyone else make choices for her.  She wants to make them and make them her way.  She is tough because she is too stubborn to let people see her cry (which she thinks mean admitting she’s weak). She’s sensitive because when she finally realizes that her stubbornness is causing an issue she finally breaks and releases ALL OF IT.  Like when she refuses to practice a memory verse at home because we are suggesting it, but then can’t memorize it in time for church she will cry and argue with us for 3 hours about how her life is just too busy and obviously our fault because she is too stubborn to admit she is wrong.  Or she’ll ask for advice and every solution we give her she has a reason why it couldn’t possibly work.

But, oh I how love my Jordan. Her frustrating stubbornness all the way to her servant’s heart.  Her awesome cuddles all the way to her spider punching.  The only one who inherited her mommy’s freckles.

Sometimes, Elijah Is My Favorite

Girls are in the shower. Justin is at school. The house is quiet...then Elijah comes crawling out of his room full speed with a car in his hand screeching across the floor.  So I scooped up that adorable kid and decided we'd ask him a few questions.

1. How old is daddy now since he just had his birthday? I don't know, 30?
2. If could change one rule that your family has, what would you change?It's not the one about candy, because I like that one. I don't want to get sick. I'd change pancakes. That I can have pancakes every breakfast.
3. What is something that makes your family special? That Jesus loves us. That Jesus first loves us.
4. Of all the things you are learning, what do you think will be the most useful when you are an adult? Learning about Jesus.
5. Are you a good friend? Why do you think so? Yes, because I help people.
6. How would the world be different if animals could talk? It'd be weird.
7. Would you cheat on a test if you knew you would not get caught? Why or why not? No, I'll never cheat on a test.  Because I want to be smarter and I got a few questions wrong before because I don't cheat.  And only a few right.  And sometimes it is hard and other people cheat, but I don't. And tomorrow I have Spanish test and I don't even know Spanish.
8. If you could grow up to be famous, what would you want to be famous for? Being a really good Christian.
9. If you could be invisible for a day, what would you do? Play hide and go seek. Nobody could find me, and that's the problem.  I'd be like "let's play hide and seek" an then nobody could find me. Then the door would open and you'd know it was me, so we'd have to play outside.
10. What is the best gift you have ever given? Why was it so special?I never got that was a drone. I'm just saying that I really want it.
11. What is the hardest thing about being a kid? Doing homework.
12. If you were a teacher, and the kids in your class would not listen to you, what would you do? Put their clips down. Never mind, I'd have them put their heads down.
13. Where is your favorite place in the world? IHOP. I hope like a bunny. I jump. It's almost like I jump, but it's I hop. But they are opposites of each other. Jump and hop are opposites. It makes sense.
14. If you could give one gift to every single child in the world, what gift would you give? Wait, momma can I put 2? Like all the boys will get drones and all the girls will get Barbies.
15. If you could travel back in time three years and visit your younger self, what advice would you give yourself? To never do it again (me: do what again) Go back in time!
16. What five words do you think most describe you? Funny, crazy, weird, helpful, and Christian.
17. If you could invent something that would make life easier for people, what would you invent? Bridges so you can go places faster. Like street bridges. So they are on top of the other flat streets and you don't have to use traffic lights.
18. When was a time that you felt lucky? On the weekends and when I was born. Well, I don't know if I felt lucky when I was born because there was one day that I don't remember anything in the past. It all just blew out of my mind.
19. What do you think would be the hardest thing about being blind? To see stuff ::laughs hysterically at himself for a good minute::
20. If you could make one rule that everyone in the world had to follow, what rule would you make? Why? So you're talking like if I was the president. Everybody had to give money to poor people.

Daddy, Aren't I Pretty?

Justin and I read through a couple of books that are intended to help you get a better understanding of your spouse.  There were some great chapters and some not at all useful ones.  They are meant for a husband to read the one about wives and visa versa, but we read through them together.

I found it fascinating reading about “how women think”. I am one, and have no idea what drives me to react the way I do to things.  One of the chapters was about how a woman feels loved: a woman’s need to feel pretty (in compression to a man’s need to feel respected).  I’m a pretty confident woman and I don’t necessarily find myself unattractive so as we started the chapter I thought “well this doesn’t apply to me”…but oh how it does.  It was the example they gave that stuck out to me (paraphrased because I’m on my lunch break at work and the book is at home):

Imagine a little girl in a new dress twirling in the living room.  She shout’s, “Daddy, look at me, aren’t I pretty”?  Your wife feels that same way, but as an adult doesn’t walk around saying, “Husband, don’t I look pretty”? But deep down, she needs that.

WHY as women do we constantly compare ourselves to others? We all do it.  That other lady walking passed you at the grocery store…we find that one thing about her that is ‘obviously’ better and focus on that: I wish I had hair like that, Her eyes are so much nicer than mine, Her belly doesn’t hang over her belt… and so on.

And now time for confession.

I sometimes dwell on these things too long.  And it leads me down a path of self pity and I HATE when I get there.  Because deep down, I know it’s just a slap in the face to my creator.

Here’s how it plays out…

Justin tells me I’m pretty (by saying it or expressing it using non verbal queues):

My translation:  He’s just saying that because he has to (or because he wants to get something out of it).  He doesn’t really mean it. I know he thinks that one actress from that one movie we just watched is much prettier than me.  He probably wishes she was his wife. She’d be such a better wife – she takes better care of herself.

OR

Justin spends a day doing frustrating homework/work and is his brain if exhausted.  He relieves that tension by playing a game or watching some TV.

My Translation: He doesn’t want to spend time with me.  I’m just an inconvenience that gets in the way of things he’d rather do.  I must just add to his frustrations.  If I was a better wife he’d want to spend every second of free time he had with me.  He just tolerates me because I am sometimes convenient to have around.  If I was a better wife he’d try to get all that stuff done while I’m busy so we could do stuff together when I’m around.  If I was a better wife he’d be the one to initiate alone time for us more often.

Do NOT read this as an insult to my husband.  That’s not the point (he’s pretty awesome). The point is my SIN! That when I get wrapped up in my relationship with my husband I lose sight of the relationship that matters more.  That I get focused on finding my self worth in my husband and not in the God who created me.  I put an unfair expectation on my husband to be my sole comforter and provider and don’t turn to the ultimate comforter and provider.  Because in the end, my relationship with my husband is NOT what really matters.  It’s my relationship with my savior.

So, this last week has been one of those times I’ve dwelt on this.  I’ve been mopey and moody as I start to pile up all the ways Justin dislikes me because of how unattractive I am, or how boring I am, or how naggy I am.  The worst part is, I KNOW I’M DOING IT! I’m trying to dig myself out of this hole and thinking, “I don’t want to bother Justin will all of this because saying what I’m feeling will be hurtful and I know deep down I don’t even really mean it. So I’ll just work through it alone”.  Alone… instead of turning to God like I KNOW I should.  I pretend to go through the motions of a “good Christian” and pray about it – but again, I KNOW I don’t mean it.  I know I’m still holding onto the crap with a clinched fist and just telling God, “Hey I have a bunch of crap in this fist you should take care of, but I won’t let you near it”.

THEN, it rained.  I know you don’t understand how that is relevant.  I’ll let you in on a secret.  The only reason rain exists is because it’s my love language.  It’s how God communicates with me.  You might think it rains because it spreads water across the earth and helps things grow.  That’s only a side effect.  Really God created rain because he knew I’d need it.  He knew that I’d be having a little pity party today as I walked to my car for lunch.  He knew I’d be thinking that it sucks that it was “supposed” to rain today and didn’t.  So as soon as I sat down in my car the rain came.  And that fist so tightly clinched around that crap finally loosened. The rain was my reminder that God always provides and he is always there when we need him.

Granted…I only loosened that fist so I know I still have some more heart work to do so I can fully let it go. But at least I am now moving in right direction.

Wurs Enemy

When I was in 4th grade (about 20 years ago) my biggest concern was being the fastest kid on the playground (I totally wasn't and gave up on that dream for more realistic goals like getting to the monkey bars first). 

So imagine my surprise when my 4th grade daughter (last year) asked these questions...

1. What does rape mean?
2. The girls in my class sit on the boys on the playground and move around and say they are having sex.  Is that what sex is?
3. What is a slut? The boys in my class keep calling me that.
4. What's a condom? A boy in my class told me he didn't use a condom so he's worried.

So here I was, having to explain these things to my 10 year old to ensure she heard the truth about these things and not what a bunch of other 10 year olds were saying.

Would you say I was all that shocked when she came home half way through the year with a 'secret' boyfriend? (not so secret because I may not be the best parent, but I can still see when she's lying or hiding something)

No, I was not surprised.  I was disappointed that she hadn't talked to us about it before it happened, but not surprised.  So again, Justin and I were having to talk to our 10 year old about things she should not have to be dealing with yet.  After we talked about it, she decided she should break up with the kid.

Before you judge us to harshly about letting are obviously way-to-young-to-date daughter make this choice you have to understand something.  She is a stubborn kid. We knew that if we 'forced' her to do it she would just do what she wanted anyway and then hide more from us instead of feeling comfortable to talk to us about stuff...even stuff she knows we don't approve of.  So although this could have ended in her deciding to keep her boyfriend, at least she knew she could come talk to us about this sort of thing.  And from that point on she has, but OH BOY is hard to stay calm sometimes.

So, here we are.  Our 10 year old daughter is breaking up with her first boyfriend.  It seemed to go well.  They wanted to remain 'friends'.  However, HIS friends were not as understanding.  Slowly over the next few months they would begin to spread nasty rumors.  They were saying increasingly hurtful things and getting more and more people to gang up on her.  She was being ostracized by most of her class and we could see the impact it was having on all the other areas of her life.  She was not doing a good job processing these feelings and things were happening...

1. Outbursts of rage and yelling at teachers
2. Cussing like a sailor's parrot (because she'd only repeat things she heard from school that she usually had no idea the meaning of)
3. Picking on her siblings just to get a reaction
4. Digging her nails into her skin until it bled

My poor, innocent, 10 year old girl was dealing with the nastiness that is the world and nobody was doing anything about it (obviously Justin and I were aware and trying to talk her through it).  Every conversation with teachers/principal ended with a "we will get the kids together to talk out their problems".  That was it.  They would sit for a few minutes and each side would tell their side of the story and were expected to just move on.  These kids attacking her had all the 'right' things to say during those conversations so nothing ever happened.

FINALLY, my now 11 year old snapped.  She wrote this letter...

Dear Carlos, 

Hey, the reason I am writing this is because you and most of your friends are idiots like you. I wish you were never born and you were the biggest mistake I ever made. By the way, I already found some one. Tell Araya that she led and that we are just good friends now.

Worst Enemy (aka ex)

Taylor

Now there is written proof that obviously Taylor is to blame for everything.  Obviously, she's the one causing all the problems and being mean to these kids. Obviously. (In case you didn't pick up on it, that was sarcasm).

YES we know she did not handle things correctly.  She should NOT have sent that letter and we told her that.  But deep down I am sort of furious.  These people are supposed to PROTECT our children, but here we are with the 'victim' getting the blame.  Taylor is by no means innocent in all of this. I know that. I'm realistic.  But how can we expect a now 11 year old girl to process all of this stuff that she is not mentally ready for?  How can we not take her concerns seriously?  Even if she was just flat out lying (which she isn't - exaggerating is likely, but not lying) is it not worth these adult's time to understand the heart of the issue?

I'm not saying it is their fault that she wrote this letter. But I am saying they are surely not helping resolve the issues so she's doing it the only way her immature brain can think of.

That Time Team Davis Fell Apart

As Justin and I stand on the stage of an empty sanctuary practicing the worship set for the morning I glance at the pews.  I see 4 awesome kids huddled together, sitting quietly and calmly.  I glance down the aisle and see 3 other kids – one sitting inside a hoodie (like it’s a sled) with his 2 siblings using the sleeves to pull him full speed down the aisle as they laugh uncontrollably through squeals of delight.  The 2^nd set of kids are my kids.  My 3 bundles of pure energy. I look at the differences in these two sets of children as a direct reflection of my parenting and translated it to a failure in parenting.  Why can’t my kids just sit still and keep quiet?

I had given up on trying to force it.  It always ended in a crying mess on both sides.  They do sometimes manage to do the “quiet” thing, but more often they are balls of chaos. Well... what I considered chaos. 

However, over the last year I’ve realized more and more they are just “living life”.  This revelation was inspired by our Children’s Director at Church (the amazing Sara Hughes).  She lives her life AND more importantly (to me at least) she helps my kids do the same.  She encourages them to be creative in their learning with plays they create to demonstrate the lessons they learn.  She has parties filled with food and confetti cannons.  She finds reasons to celebrate life and the craziness of what life can throw at you.  She meets them where they are just like Paul explains in 1 Corinthians Chapter 9.

I admire Sara and her ability to do this.  I am very much NOT that person. I’m an over-planner.  I need to think 10 steps ahead of my next 50 steps.  I over-organize things in order to feel some sense of control.  And sometimes, God likes to remind me what little control I have.

Then comes the real reason for this blog…I’m talking about that week(ish) in December…that week where God was like, “Oh, so you think you have everything under control? You think you have ANY say on what will happen tomorrow?” ::insert Godly giggle…well probably bellowing laughter…I assume God doesn’t giggle::

On Saturday morning Elijah comes into my room and says his tummy itches. He lifts his shirt to reveal a small patch of tiny red dots.  It looks like a mild skin irritation, so I tell him to take a shower to get clean and I’ll put some cream on it to help with the itch.  Problem solved.  Then that evening he complains again and reveals that small spot has spread rapidly up and around his side and back so to Urgent Care we go.  A 3 hour wait and we find out he has shingles. Not the worst case scenario so we move on with life.

Shingles.

Fast forward 4 days.  That amazing Sara lady I mentioned earlier walks into our Youth Group (where Justin and I are) and tells me Taylor was hurt and, in a VERY Taylor fashion, is letting the whole world know that her life was ending.  I walk down to get her and assume her tears are her typical over-exaggeration, but after a few minutes I realize she may actually be hurt.  So, another ride to Urgent Care (shout out to Tommy here for being willing to get the rest of my family home that night).  And we shortly find out her hand is broken AND it’s her dominant hand.

Shingles. Broken Hand.

Fast forward 5 days.  Jordan is outside happily enjoying the warm evening (and yes it was December and like 70 degrees outside at 5pm).  I’m inside cooking dinner with the other two and Justin is out studying (or maybe writing a paper) for finals.  I hear Jordan walking up the stairs crying.  I hear her open our storage room door and put away her pogo stick.  I hear her open the front door and I walk into the living room to see her clutching her chin with blood oozing from her fingers.  I calmly (calm on the outside, but inside hyperventilating) walked her to the sink to rinse off and quickly realized that the massive gash in her chin was in need of more than a bandaid.  So, I call Justin and tell him to hurry home, now! And tell Taylor she is in charge for 10 minutes until dad gets home.  Now I’m stressing about the amount of blood leaving one child’s face and the fact that Taylor was about to ‘babysit’ her brother for the first time.  I was almost certain that in those 10 minutes Justin would come home to the house on fire.  And so I sit, in Urgent Care once again.  Jordan needs 10 stiches.  She takes it like a champ…I almost pass out twice.

Shingles. Broken Hand. Stiches.

9 days later Justin gets a cell tumor removed from his hand (his dominant hand and more importantly his strumming hand) 4 days before our Christmas Eve services at church.  The tumor removal was more invasive than they anticipated so even now (over a month later) it is still bothers him sometimes.

Shingles. Broken Hand. Stiches. Hand Surgery.

Add to that I was 8 months pregnant and due “any day”.

Now, as Justin can attest, any one of these things would typically send me into stress overload.  Unplanned events creeping in and causing my perfectly organized schedule to become a mess.  But for some reason (probably for only the 5^th time in my life) shrugged it off and thought, “Why not? What’s next?”  At some point I just decided to giggle/laugh right along with God as I realized I have absolutely no control.  Silly me for thinking otherwise. And here we are a month later back to our chaotic, crazy, normal.