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Tuesday, February 28, 2012

It's an Emotional Day

Today is a rough day for me. I’m not gonna lie.

We honestly just can’t afford to get Taylor into a school by where I work (ie a good school). The school she is set to go to is horrible. It would cost us $150 a month to just get her home from school everyday and that is not a luxury we have at this moment in our lives.

I was willing to overlook a lot and be optimistic.

They are ranked 2 out 10 “stars” as far as schools go. I keep praying that it’s not as bad as people make it seem and that there is hope still, but I have my doubts.

Today is particularly hard on me since until about 2 hours ago I didn’t realize its “enrollment” time. How is a first time Kindergarten parent supposed to know when to enroll their kid? I accidentally found out today! And now I am supposed to start registration on Monday? Yikes!

I’m scrambling and I hate scrambling. I feel off my game and unorganized. I have being unorganized. So that makes my day rough.

I tried to got the schools website Taylor is supposed to attend and this made my rough day an emotional rough roller coaster for me (hint: that means it just got worse).

Their website is not up to date. I mean some of the links don’t even work. Most pages are just completely blank. And on the pages they do have some content there are spelling and grammatical errors!! How are they supposed to teach Taylor things if they don’t seem to be smart enough to do basic things themselves?!

I know that the teachers aren’t the ones that are doing the website yet they are the ones teaching Taylor (or soon to be teaching Taylor). But it’s hard to have confidence that Taylor will be getting a good teacher when she just isn’t going to a good school.

So today I sit here in near tears accepting the fact Taylor may get a crappy education because we are a “low income” family who can’t afford extra gas or to live in a better neighborhood with better schools. I know this time in our life is only a season, but for the first time I feel like a bad parent for this season. I don’t care if Justin in I can’t have shiny things, but I don’t want my kids to feel the weight of our income problems. And for the first time I feel like now it’s affecting them.

AND to top it off. I went to a school like this one when I was young. I was 1 of two white children in my class. I got picked on a lot for that reason alone (we all know kids are mean right?) I had different colored hair so it got pulled. I didn’t speak Spanish so they’d say mean things in Spanish and laugh at me. I don’t remember how I handled it honestly, but I remember that happening. Taylor is very sensitive and emotional. She will do whatever she is told to make somebody happy with her and not angry at her. I’m worried about her. I worried kids will hurt her (emotionally) or make her do things or say things that are just not right and she will do them because she just wants to make people happy.

So today is just a rough day for me. Can you pray for me and my baby (big) girl? Thank you friends.

1 comment:

  1. I'm so sorry. I wish I could help somehow. I wish I taught at a school close to you so you could enroll her in my class. I will be praying for her teacher, as well as your peace of mind.